The Godly Mans Journey to Heaven, Treatise 2 · Meditation 21
21. Our louing, heauenly, holy, wise Father, heareth alwayes the prayers of his owne, and granteth their requests; albeit oftentimes, not as they would hauehave them heard, yet euermore as God should heare them, and as their will requireth.
I must confesse, ô my soule, yt thou canst not but be much moued, when considering Gods fatherly direction plainely giuen to thee, when weighing Gods gracious promises clearely made to thee, thou askest but receiuest not; thou seekest but findest not; thou knockest but hath none to open to thee. For as then Satan cannot but presse to take some aduantage of thee, so thou canst not at the first consider this but be much amazed. Alwayes, ô my soule, I must cha…e thee not to murmur (so much as in secret) against thy God, albeit he appeare not to heare thee when thou callest vntounto him. Yea, I must command thee not to attempt to suffer that louelove wherewith thou art obliged alwayes to louelove thy good God, any wayes to waxe cold, albeit his Maiestie do deferre to grant thee that which thou hast craued, yea, albeit he denie altogether to giuegive thee that which thou hast bene long seeking; yea which is more, albeit he put into thy hand and lay vponupon thy backe, that which is flat contrarie vntounto that which thou hast bene, euen with manie dayes, with many sighes, hauing thy knees bowed before him, and thy hands lift vp to him, desiring him to giuegive thee. For I must tell thee, ô my soule, that the frowning lookes of thy God thy Father are more pleasant in the sight of his well schooled child, then the smylings of all liuing can be vntounto him; that the hand of God thy Father taking from his owne, that which the blind wordling counted onelyonly to be profitable and honourable for him, yea that the hand of God thy Father laying that vponupon the backe of his owne, which the dead worldlings count onelyonly hurtfull vntounto them, is euen then more kind, more liberall, and more mercifull vntounto him then the hands of all liuing being opened wide to giuegive him liberally, to clap him kindly, possibly can be.Berna. on Hab. This moued Bernard to make this notable confession. Si quid amaritudinis sentio in voce eius, non sine dulcedine est: quoniam cum iratus est, misericordiae recordabitur, imo vero & ipsa indignatio, non aliunde quam de misericordia est. If I perceiue any bitternesse in his words, that bitternesse wantes not his owne sweetnesse, because while our God is angrie he will euen remember merciemercy; yea, that his very anger showne against his owne, Ber. Epist. 2.flowes from nothing but from merciemercy. Shall this Bernard, speaking of that holy wise louelove, which shineth in the heart of Gods child, speake thus of it? O bona mater charitas, quae siue foueat infirmos, siue exerceat prouectos, siue arguat iniquietos: diuersis diuersa exhibens, sicut filios diligit vniuersos. O how good and sweet a mother is louelove, which whether she suffer the weake, or exercise the strong, or reproue the vnruly, while she giues diuerse things to diuerse persons, she loueth them all and eueryevery one of them as her dearest children. And shalt thou not, ô my soule, hold thy God alwayes for a louing Father; frowne he, smile he, giuegive he, take he, heare he thee, appeare he not to heare thee, til this world shall stand; the comfortable oracles shall alwayes abide inuiolably true.Psal. 34. 15. 16. The eyes of the Lord are vponupon the righteous, and his eares are open to their cries. Rom▪ 8. 28.The lions do lacke and suffer hunger, but they who seeke the Lord shall want nothing which is good. All things worke together for the best, to them that feare God. And so, ô my soule, I must assure thee, that thy God cannot but alwayes heare thee, but alwayes helpe thee, for he heareth thee, either so that he granteth thee that which thou crauest, as thou crauest it, or as good as thou crauest; albeit not that same which thou wouldest hauehave bene at; or a better then that is, or could hauehave bene, which thou thoughst to hauehave bene onelyonly the best for thee. Anna the mother of Samuel, maketh a sute to her God, and is heard in euerie point as she craued, for as she powred forth her soule before God for a sonne,1. Sam. 1. so she receiued a sonne from him.2. Col. 12. 7. 8. 9. Paul called ouer and ouer againe to his God, beseeching him to deliuer him from that Angel of Satan which buffeted him? Alwayes that same which Paul craued from God is not granted to him by God, albeit that which was as good for him, was not denied to him; for while he desires to be freed from that buffeting Angel, he is not freed from him: but alwayes Gods grace is sufficient for him, to make him stand vnderunder that sharpe assault strongly, and in the end to triumph ouer it valiantly.2. Sam. 12. Dauid a man after Gods owne heart, dealeth with his God by prayer, by teares, and by fasting, for the life of that child which Bethsheba bare vntounto him; alwayes that is not granted, for that child died, neuertheles a better child was giuen to him: for was not that wise Salomon who built that glorious Temple to the Lord, brought forth to Dauid by the same Bethsheba afterwards? for if that child had liued according to Dauids sute, (being gotten vponupon her by him, while Vriah her husband was aliue) would he not alwayes liued as a manifest note of Dauid his adulterie, and murther; and so be cast vp vntounto him by prophane people, who could easily gripe his sinne, but no wayes consider his repentance. Forget not this, ô my soule, that comfortable oracle sounded by thy maister and Sauiour.Luke. 11. 11. 12. What man is he amongst you, who if his sonne aske him bread, would giuegive him a stone: or if he aske him a fish, would giuegive him a serpent? or if he aske him an egge, will giuegive him a scorpion. And shall not thy God, ô my soule, euen ye God of my spirit, who is more wise then the father of my flesh can be: if I craue that which he accounteth to be a stone, albeit I hold it to be bread; which he accoūteth to be a serpent, albeit I esteeme it to be fish; which he accounteth to be a scorpion, albeit I thinke it to be an egge? Hearken, hearken vntounto me and grant me that. Thou seekest the bread of honour from God, and he knoweth that if thou haddest honour, that thy honour would proue a stone to make thee dishonour him first; and in the end to slay thy selfe. And therefore he refuseth to giuegive it vntounto thee. Thou crauest the fish of health, and wealth from God, but he knoweth that health, and wealth would proue a serpent to bite thy soule to death. Thou wouldest be at the white egges of sweet pleasures, but he knoweth that they will proue a byting scorpion to hurt thee: therefore he denieth health, wealth, and pleasures to thee. Againe, thou abhorrest ignominie and shame before men, as a hurtfull stone: but God knoweth that it will be food, and bread to thee, and therefore he couereth thee with it, euen when thou wouldst be faine quit of it. Thou abhorrest sicknesse, pouertie, imprisonment, banishment, inward tentations, and outward crosses, yea, cruell death it selfe: as biting serpents and deuouring scorpions able to slay thee. Alwayes thy God knoweth that euen these be the onelyonly sauorie, and sweet fishes, and egges, which are able to saue thee, and therefore he propines thee with them. Forget not, ô my soule, that sweet speech of Augustine, Aug.subscribing vn…o the truth of these three comfortable alledged oracles: Bonus Dominus, qui saepe non tribuit quod volumus, & magis attribuat quod malimus. O how good a Lord is our God, who oftentimes giueth not that vntounto vsus which we would hauehave, to the end that he may graciously giuegive vsus that which we rather should hauehave craued from him. Bern.Bernard embracing Augustine in this point can say to thee most sweetly, ô my soule: Saepe multos Deus non exaudit ad voluntatem, vt exaudiat adsalutem. Our God oftentimes refuseth to heare manie of his owne according to their will, to the end that he may heare them for their weale. But here, ô my soule, lest thou decieue thy selfe, thinking that thou hast right to the hearing eare, to the pitifull heart, to the helping hand of thy God and so that he heareth thee, and that he pittieth thee, and that at length he will helpe thee. How mayest thou be assured that thou art euen then heard of him, pitied of him, and that thou shalt receiue helpe from him, when in appearance thou must thinke that he heareth thee not at all? Hearken, hearken, ô my soule, findest thou grace while thus thou art vsed, by thy wise pitifull God, to continue in praying vntounto him while he refuseth, as thou thinkest to heare? Hast thou grace to desire to continue in praying vntounto him while he delayes (as thou thinkest) to heare thee? yea, which is more, findest thou the smallest measure of griefe, because thou canst not desire to continue in praying vntounto him as thou wouldest? that thou canst not pray vntounto him as thou shouldst? be assured that God whom thou thinkest to be farre from thee, is neare thee, is with thee, yea he is within thee by his Spirit as in his temple hearing thee, albeit thou hearest not that he heareth thee; pitying thee, albeit thou feelest not that he pitieth thee; and for to deliuer thee, albeit th… thinke that thou canst not be deliuered. Answer me, answer me, ô my soule, if thou canst. If thy God heard thee no way, pittied thee no way, and were neuer to helpe thee, couldst thou desire to be heard of him, to be pitied by him, to be helped by him? yea, if thy God longed not as it were to do thee good, couldst thou either long or lament that thou longest not for good at his hands. For as he who neuer saw the Sunne cannot misse the sight of the Sun, so he who neuer saw God cannot misse God. Thus it is not nature which misseth grace, but grace which misseth grace, and therefore he spake truly who said: Num oranti beneficia denegabit, August.qui orantes vt ne deficiant sua pietate instigat: Can that good God refuse to grant his good things vuto that person, who praying vntounto him for them, is stirred vp by his goodnesse not to faint, but to continue in praying vntounto him.