A View of Mans Estate, Tract 2

A View of Mans Estate · Tract 2

A godly aduiſe touching Mariage

WOrſhipfull, as I am not vnmindfull, ſo I deſire by theſe not to ſeeme vnthākfull for thoſe rewards, not ſmall in my purſe, which you hauehave heretofore of your liberalitie diuerſe times beſtowed on me. The which my purpoſe, is not here to recompence, as Courtiers thinke ſufficient to rewarde other mens good workes with their fayre words: but yet I thought it good maner firſt to make this curteſie, before I entered any further matter with you: leaſt I ſhould ſeeme ſtill to begge, and neuer to bring, or elſe that my bringing might ſéeme nothing elſe but a coloured begging, euen as the ſubtill fawning Spaniell ofte tymes fetcheth hys Mayſters gloue in hope to chaunge it for a better morſell. Wherefore vnderſtand you, that this procéedeth not of any ſuche purpoſe, as eyther to picke any thanke for an vndeſerued good turne, for therein you are before hande with me, eyther to quite you with like meaſure as you hauehave met vntounto me, for that is alſo aboue my reache: but onelyonly I wiſh you to accept this as a pledge of a gratefull minde, confeſſing vntounto you a debt, and yet deſiring a pardon of payment. And ſuche is the pledge whiche I hauehave to commende vntounto you, ſurely without diſſimulation, no better than of that whiche is growne in mine owne ground, no farre fet thing, neyther dearely bought, and therefore not méete for you, eſpecially if you bée very Ladie fine, no greater than that came out of my penne, not more precious than may be kept and caried in a poore péece of paper, of no further forme and faſhion, than mine owne handes could frame, mine owne ſimple witte might worke. The fine cooke men dight the rude morſell with ſome conceyte of their cunning, but I hauehave no other Sugar to grace my diſhe withall, but as I hauehave ſayde. Wherefore as you ſée, ſo ſhall you taſte: as you like the qualities, ſo accept my preſent. Whereas therefore your gentleneſſe is ſuche that it deſerueth great thankfulneſſe, and otherwiſe moued if you had not ſette me vp this marke, I thought it my part (if you ſhould take it in good part) not to ſpare penne, paper nor paines at this preſent in writing vntounto you: and although it were more meete for me to treate tryſles than myſteries, things of naught & little force, thā matters of weight and great importance: yet conſidering your perſon, whoſe caſe requireth euen in inforced tryfles to ſéeke a grauitie, and I …eeing loth that loſt labour ſhoulde run with loſt time, (for loſt time I account loſt lāds) hauehave bethought my ſelfe to deuiſe ſome matter that happily might quite your labor for reading, and not be altogither fruitleſſe in wit, ſo that altogither my wordes might not ſéeme as waſted winde, and I might be ſomewhat botter occupied than as one that did naught elſe but tell the clockes and watch the ſunne howe he ſhadoweth the diall. Conſidering therefore the ſtate of your life, the caſe wherein you now ſtande: that is, towards me and the world my ſiſter, a woman once a wife, nowe a widow, and therefore hauing of God leaue and libertie by mariage to become a wyfe againe: for when the huſbande is dead, the woman may lawfully betake hir ſelf vntounto another. This your caſe I reckened ſo far to be mine, that I might not like a careleſſe ſtraunger ſtand dumbe, but as a well wiſhing brother open my mouth, & vtter my mind vntounto you, not y^t I mind to perſuade or diſſuade mariage with you, for therin you may beſt be your own iudge, for you know beſt where you ſhooe wringeth you: neyther need you any counſeller to bid you cut where it wringeth you: But whereas you know it lawfull, if you ſhall thinke expedient alſo, that of a widow you becom a wife, then ought you to take good aduiſemēt how you beſtow your ſelfe, leaſt you both marie and marre your ſelfe in one day, and of an happie widowe become an vnhappie wife. For I neede not to ſeeke to ſhew you the daungers that ſuche leapt into, that in this matter raſhly leapt before they wiſely looked: bicauſe on the one ſide others hauehave had experience in you, and on the contrary you hauehave ſufficient experience in other, which may lead you through the conſideration hereof euen as ſtreight as a line: and therefore I will not counſell you as néedleſſe to aduiſement, but rather commende you that you hauehave hitherto ſtand ſo ſtayed, with ſuch aduiſed deliberation. Onelye this poynt I finde in you, whiche néedeth a knot, as to conſider howe you might doe moſt aduiſedly, what matche were moſt méete for you to be made, that repentance follow not: to what marke you ought to direct your counſell, aduiſement, and deliberation, that the ſucceſſe might aunſwere your hope, that is, that it myght turne to your continual comfort, and to the glory of God. This verily I wote well is a caſe of ſuch importance to conſider, and hath ſo many hard knots to worke on, that it were more fitte for gray heares, ſage wits, & depe diuines to take in hande, than for my ſimplicitie to aduenture. I thinke you hauehave read what M. the Emperor ſayd in the like caſe: I am of opinion, that if all the wiſe men were molten togither in a fornace, they could not giuegive one good counſell to make a mariage, what counſell then of likelihoode may you looke to hauehave at my handes, if a wiſe man, if many wiſe men, if all the wiſe be not wiſe ynough in anie poynt well to aduertiſe you in this behalfe? Wherefore I will aſke no pardon of preſumption, whereof I truſt there ſhall be no ſuſpition betwixt brother and ſiſter. But duplicate page duplicate page duplicate page duplicate page duplicate page duplicate page this deſire, you would rather weigh the wil than the wit, which by me here ſhal be ſhewed: and if I (as of likelyhoode) ſhall ouerſhoote my ſelfe by any kinde of follie, yet let ſuch wiſdome reſt in you, that you make not that opē & common, which betwixt vsus is priuate and priuie. Therefore to enter my purpoſe, bicauſe that of many, yet muſt one ioyne but with one, and bicauſe where one is to be choſen, it is good to ſée whiche and all if it might be. I will be ſo bolde as to ſende you foure ſuche ſuters as may repreſent vntounto you all the reſt that may happen hereafter to come. Cōſider all by foure, trie foure and truſt one. Therefore I ſée thrée markes generally whereat you may ſhoote out your game, and whiche are to be conſidered in man. The inward minde of the man, the outwarde perſonage and the ſtate wherein he ſtandeth of things apperteyning to the worlde. By this rule I will ſeuer and ſingle out the ſortes of men, that after the deuiſion you may with leſſe doubt make your choyſe. And firſt to begin with the worſt: There are men that liue neyther well, nor welthily, being in a deſperate ſtate both toward God and the world, paſt hope, and paſt ſhame: But we maye ſet theſe aſide, as we finde them, ſo let vsus leaue them, for I know as they are naught worthie, ſo you will not hauehave to doe wyth them. None of thoſe I thinke will come vntounto you in the name of a ſuiter. The next man is not ſo wiſe, nor ſo wel fauoured as welthie, not ſo curteous as couetous, not ſo manered as monied, and he hauing hope through his wealth peraduenture will attempt you. For what caſe is deſperate in the worlde to ſuch as fortune laugheth vponupon, and as one ſayth: wherevnto doth not the religious thirſt of golde enforce the hearts of men? This man you may ſoone eſpie, where his treaſure is, there is hys heart: euen ſuch kind of wowing you ſhall hauehave of him as Satan vſed to our Sauior: if thou wilt fall downe and worſhip me,Math. 4.Matt 4 I will giuegive you (ſayth he) all theſe: you ſhall be maiſtreſſe of ſo many ſhepe, ſo many oxen, thus muche money ſhall be yours as mine owne. So harpeth he vponupon his halfepenie. But let vsus ſet him aſide a while, and bring an other in place, as ſuch a one, that is handſome of perſonage, eyther as they ſay, a tall gentleman, or a proper man, wel borne, graced with ſome courtly behauior, well ſpoken, a pretie naturall witte, and graced with other ſuch qualities of the bodie, and yet peraduenture vertue hath taken little or no roote in him, he worſhippeth God at leyſure, and hath ſome ciuill godlyneſſe in him, and a religion he hath that he vſeth as the Market ſerueth, and thus doth he recken his game: I ſée not (ſayth he to himſelfe) why I ſhoulde diſpayre, I ſée not but I am worthie of as good as ſhee is, I come of as good an houſe as ſhée, mine aunceters were all worſhipfull, and ſome honourable: I doubt not the miſlyking of my behauiour, for I hauehave not beene ſo euill brought vp but I knowe howe to enterteyne a gentlewoman, I ſhall ſée well ynough too, that my demeanor be curteous and courtly, as for my countenance, my perſonage, I force not who beholde it. So to himſelfe he ſayth, when to you he ſhall commende himſelfe with ſuch modeſtie, as to ſay, he is not diſfigured nor maymed: and that he cannot of ſhame ſay him ſelfe, ſome other fréende ſhall ſet out in playner termes, his fréendes peraduenture not yours, will ſo blaze his armes, as thoughe he ſhoulde ſell him vntounto you, as though ye ſhoulde take him at his worde, beſetting him with theſe & the like floures: if you reſpect the perſonage of a man, if you refuſe him, yée ſhall not bée ſo matched againe, marke him and viewe him well, ſée what deformitie you may finde in him: is there any part of him out of ioynt, or out of ſquare? Marke what a ioly complexion he hath, ſee whether ye may eſpy any wart, any blemiſh in his viſage: conſider whether he be not a very gentleman in his behauiour, and forget not hys qualityes how commendable they are, his actiuitie, his merie conceytes, his pretie practiſes: ſée howe cleanly and trimme he is in his apparell, howe ſkilfull and neate he is about his horſe, his hawkes, his houndes: his exerciſe alſo be vſeth, is gentleman like, abroade he vſeth his bowe, within doores he can ſing to his lute, and ſo he hath wyped cleane the outſide of the cup. As for learning hée hath ynoughe for a Gentleman. Here peraduenture that wyſe ſaying ſhall be wiſely alledged. Eccleſiaſt. 7. Be not too wiſe: if he hauehave a good witte in déede, then ſhall there be great compaſſes of compariſons ſet. If he be but meane in that reſpect, then yet he is no foole, no naturall: if he be peraduenture ſomwhat ſtayned in fame, as for the familiaritie, you ſhall hauehave that iſſue ſtreight ſtopped wyth ſome playſter of excuſe: if it be not manifeſt, then is it falſe and forged, no man is able to charge him ſo, the beſt are moſt ſubiect to corruption, the fineſt cloth may bée ſooneſt ſtayned, the honeſteſt man may bée ſooneſt ſlaundered. And if it be not to be denyed, yet it ſhall be excuſed, as that thoſe are but toyes and pranckes that runne in common courſe among yong men, or elſe you muſt conſider that we are all ſinners, and there is Scripture ynoughe to proue this: There is not one good, no not one, we hauehave all gone aſtray like ſhéepe, no man is good but God, and ſuch the like. Wherefore a man is not to be reiected, but to be borne withall in ſuch things, for as much as wee are al full of imperfections and infirmities. And ſo if there appeare any good gift it ſhall be ſet out as it were a ſunning to beholde. But if th…re be any ſuſpition of vice, or otherwiſe any want or defect, that ſhall eyther be let ſlippe with ſilence, or elſe the brokē péeces ſhall be glued togither in ſome ſort, that which is vnſéemely or vnſightly ſhall hauehave a better colour ſet on it wyth ſome gloſing tale: the want of wit ſhall be ſupplied with abundance of wealth, euill maners with much money, if his life be ſuſpected you muſt looke in his face, for with ſome women the pleaſing perſonage ſatiſfieth for it ſelfe, and alſo for vertue: and good qualities is for learning in a gentleman. If the quiuer be well furniſhed, if it be well in the ſtable, in the mue, the kenel, it doth not ſo muche force what is in the houſe, the chamber and the ſtudie. Suche verily is the table talke amongſt the Gentils the gentlemen, ſuch boltes ſhootes ſuiters and ſuiters frendes, and with ſuche traynes ſome women are entrapped, with ſuche winleſſes ſome are dryuen into the net. But I truſt your eyeſight ſerueth you better, than to be dimmed with ſuche myſtes, or dazed with ſuch ſhort ſunſhynings. In the degrée of myſuters, the third remayneth, whome if you by the eye iudge, that diſcerneth no further than the face, and if you weigh the worth of your maryage with weightes of ſiluer, this man ſhall ſoone be put out of countenance and hope, he ſhall ſoone be counteruayled and weyed downe to the grounde, as who may ſing Peters ſong: Siluer and Golde hauehave I little or none, he can not number hys landes, his leaſes, hys farmes and his tenements: not of great liuing, but of good life: he hath a liuing, but competent, not abounding, not flowing with full ſtreame: peraduenture no knight, yet a plaine gentleman, not verie well borne, but verie well brought vp, not worſhipfull, but worſhippe worthie, not of great eſtimation, but of ſingular honeſtie, not ſo long trayned in the Court as conuerſant in the ſchoole, hys landes are not ſo great as his learning, his cheſt not ſo ſtored with money, but hys heade and minde poſſeſſed and furniſhed with the truſtie treaſure of truth, and the ineſtimable wealth of wiſedome: hys demaynes to others are not comparable, but hys demeanour aboue others commendable, and amiable countenaunce, but yet a manly viſage, a face in whiche appeareth more grace than fauour, more grauitie than beautie, his tongue ſpéeding wordes no faſter than they maye ſéeme well beſtowed, hauing his mouth in his heart, and not his heart in his mouth: not ſo well friended of men as fauoured of God, hys bodie not ſo handſome of making as hys ſoule well faſhioned & framed to godward, his leg not ſo clean as his life without ſpot, his hande not ſo white to ſée, as his heart ſure to truſt: not high of ſtature, yet his wit not ſhort, his body not ſo ſtreight as his conſcience vpright, not ſo braue in his apparell as graue in his behauiour, not curious & neate, but honeſt and clenly, not ſo wel faced as well liued, I meane not ſo well attyred in the outwarde man as clothed in the inwarde man. Theſe are me thinkes the degrées of men to be cōſidered in our purpoſe: for I can recken no other markes wherevnto women direct their eyes and thought. Shée that reſteth vponupon theſe thrée firſt, thoſe which they call the giftes of fortune, the outward goodes as welth and ſubſtance whiche they poſſeſſe, their place and ſtate, their parents and friends concerning worſhip and eſtimation, and in the man himſelfe, the goodes of the minde, wherein you may reſpect ſhortly life and learning and wit: then the perſonage of the man, cōſidering his making and proportion, his ſtature, his forme and fauour, and alſo hys yeares: and although theſe good giftes and graces do not enioy one the other, but that ſometymes in one perſon diuerſe of them may make their habitation: for the better conference of them to ſeuer them into dyuerſe perſons, I woulde you could diſcerne them apart in déede: then ſhould you be in leſſe daunger of deceyte: there are to be founde I thinke, if we ſéeke farre, in whom vertue, fortune and fauor hauehave made a mariage: and ſuch a one, if my prayer might be heard you ſhoulde ſoone attaine. But ſuche ſtarres ſhoote not often, ſuch birdes flie ſeldome abrode: but if there happen any ſuch wherevpon your conſideration ſhall ſtand, my counſell is that you follow the example of the Phiſition, who to knowe the whole ſtate of a man openeth and cutteth him vp, and deuideth him into partes, and thereby groweth into a greater knowledge: ſo I wiſh you to make an anotomie of him that you hauehave in hande, make no confuſion of wealth, witte, bodie and ſoule, life and lyuing: For ſo you may ſoone deceyue your ſelfe. In one man therefore conſider thrée, of the which you ought to chooſe but one, leaſt perhaps you miſtake your righte marke & léeſe your game: leaſt in ſtead of a man, ye find but the ſhadow of a man: referre your ſelfe to the patterne of thoſe perſons which I hauehave rudely deſcribed vntounto you: compare vntounto them, and thoſe betwixt themſelues. Wherfore to enter the compariſon, if you aſke my iudgement: The Poets to lay a foundation of a further inuention, fayned there were thrée ſhée Gods in contention for their beautie, who did moſt excell: Iuno, who had the diſpoſition of honor and dignitie, Pallas at whoſe pleaſure were al gifts of wiſedome, & Venus the Lady of louelove. To end this ſtrife, it pleaſed Iupiter and other gods, to refer the iudgemēt hereof to one Paris, a ſhepehearde, conueying to him a golde apple with this inſcription: Let it be giuegive to the faireſt. The foreſayd Gods preſented thēſelues before this their appointed iudge, and offred eueryevery one their rewarde to hauehave ſentence on their ſide: Iuno would make him the higheſt: Pallas the wiſeſt: & Venus a huſband of the faireſt Venus here preuailed, ſhe was pronounced faireſt. Paris had his rewarde, that was the beautiful Helena, who they ſay, was the cauſe and deſtruction of the Troians. Nowe if your mariage ſtoode vponupon the gift and deliuerie of an apple, I truſt you could not play Paris part, that Venus ſhould vanquiſh you. Wherefore my coūſel is, y^t rather you encline to Pallas for ſome reward of wit: than either to Iuno for hir honor, or Venus for pleaſure. And beſides theſe, there is one that by right hath greater intereſt in the apple than any of the other, although ſhe ſtriue not ſo much for the matter, I meane the Ladie Vertue. Wherefore if ſhee come in place, wyth-holde not your hand from hir for feare of the other, if ſhe offer not hir ſelfe at the fyrſte, yet be not raſhe or haſtie, but call vntounto God that he maye ſend hir vntounto you, and he no doubt, as his eares are always open vntounto the prayers of the faithful, ſhal bring hir euē home to you, and ſhe, I think, is for your purpoſe, to hir as you ought, deliuer vp your apple if you intende to giuegive it to the faireſt, to the beſt & the moſt worthy. Wherfore conſider wel my laſt pourtred perſon, of whom although I hauehave not ſet ſo faire a colour, yet if he were to be ſold, I would hold as deareſt: as who, althoughe he be not formed of the fineſt faſhion, yet is he made of the pureſt mettal: whō peraduenture Iuno may ieſt at, Venus hauehave little to vaunt of, & Plutus whome they call the God of riches paſſeth not on: yet if vertue may preuaile, you ſhall be his, & vertue ſhal be yours, yea Pallas alſo pleadeth on his part. Wherfore I coūſel you as you wold giuegive the apple vntounto vertue, ſo giuegive your wedding ring to be worn of the vertuous. For if it be ſo, as the Philoſopher truly diſputeth of frendſhip, that it can not conſiſt but betwixte the good: how ſlender a mariage wil that be, wher vertue knitteth not the knot? where honeſtie is not called to counſel, and godlineſſe is not bid to the bridall? I thinke there needeth no farre fette examples in this matter, ſeeing you hauehave experience ſo néere you: you know what the ſon of Syrach ſayth: bleſſed is that man that hath a vertuous wife, for the number of his yeares ſhall be double. You I thinke being vertuouſlye diſpoſed, entende to make an happy huſband: ſee then that he do as much for you as you for him: wher as you ſhal make him happy, foreſée that he for want of vertue turn not the courſe of your ſtate: whereas you ſhall double his dayes, take héede that he cut not off yours by the middle. Eccleſiaſtes. 26. You hauehave ſome good floures growing, take héede they be not ouergrowne & choked with y^e euil wéedes that he ſhal bring into your groūd: you are, thanks be to god, diſpoſed to godlineſſe, match not with the contrarie diſpoſitiō: for then ſhal you be as the yoke of oxen that draweth diuers wayes. Vice and vertue were yet neuer friends, it cauſed hatred in brethren, as in Cain & Abel, Eſau & Iacob: howe can the wolfe and the Lamb agrée? no more can the vngodly with the righteous. He that toucheth pitch ſhall be defiled therewith. Think not then that the vertuous and the vicious may make a good maryage: Can you ſet fire and water togither, but that they ſhall ſtir and ſtriue for the maiſtrie, and eche to conſume the other? Stand therefore, make no haſt for feare of the worſte: it is better to looke long than to leape lightly: rake vp the aſhes thorowly, and turne them to and fro, that you be ſure ther remain no ſpark of burning vice, or at the leaſte, leaue as little as you may, and ſwéepe as clean as you can. Therefore marke wel, I wiſh, what condition S. Paule ſetteth, when he gyueth you your licence to marrie 1. Cor. 7. The wife is bounde by the law, as long as hir huſband liueth, but if hir huſband be dead, ſhe is at libertie to marie onelyonly in the Lord. Weigh well that reſtraint of your libertie, or rather a ſure ſtaye of your libertie, leaſt by abuſe you turne that libertie into a bondage. For vnleſſe you hauehave God before your eyes, you ſhal chaunge your libertie into a ſtreyght bondage: wheras you ſeeke comfort, you ſhall finde a curſe, whereas you hope for eaſe and reſt, you ſhall enter into diſeaſe and trouble. Aboue all therefore hauehave a ſpecial and a ſtedfaſt eye vponupon this rule: That you marie in the Lorde. He made the firſte mariage that euer was made, and I dout not but he made the firſt that you made: and if he make the ſeconde alſo, then ſhall you be ſure neuer to repent you of your bargaine. He did inſtitute mariage as a thing moſt holy, to his glorie, and to the comfort of man: Sée therfore that you in your caſe be voyde of all fleſhly affection as neare as you maye, that you prophane not that which is holy to your owne diſcomfort, and the diſhonor of God. Chriſt you know was preſēt at a mariage in Cana, where beſides his preſence, he honored it with his firſt miracle, as that he turned water into wine. I pray you make Cothring as like Cana as you can, let Chriſt be preſēt with you: I meane, to guide your ſpirite with his holy ſpirit, turne not his miracle, make not, I meane, water of wine, but let that which God hath inſtituted to your comfort, be godly handled of you to his glory. Whereas Matrimonie is honorable amongſte all men, prouide that it turne not to your ſhame and confuſion, as you ſée in ſome: I néede not here (as it were to long) particularly to giuegive you precepts, to rehearſe ſhe vertues to be imbraced, & the vices to be deteſted in men. But ſhortly, as our Sauiour anſwered, thou knoweſt the commaundementes, doe this and thou ſhalte liue: So I, you know the commaundementes, mete the length of their féete, by that meaſure ſhal you well perceiue whether his ſhoe will ſerue your foote: yet one thing in this behalfe I muſt adde, not of miſtruſt, but to make a double knotte of a ſingle, or a treble of a double: for the ſurer the better, the warier the wiſer. Be wiſe then and beware, that you put not your head vnderunder the girdle of the vngodly, neyther ſo burden your ſelfe as to beare the yoke with an Infidell. For then it maye not ſéeme you kept S. Paule his rule. As to marrie in the Lord, for that is his counſell. 2. Cor. 6. For what mariage maye rightuouſneſſe make with vnrightuouſneſſe? light with darkneſſe, Chriſt with Beliall, the vnfayned children with the faythleſſe Infidell? For here beſide the daunger of diſcorde and bodyly trouble thereof enſuing, there is alſo apparant perill that may pearce the ſoule. For ſo ſayth the Lord to his people Iſraell concerning their ioyning with forein nations. Deut. 7. Thou ſhalt make no couenant with them, neither ſhalt thou make mariages with them, neyther giuegive thy daughter vntounto his ſonne, nor take his daughter vntounto thy ſonne, for they wyll cauſe thy ſonne to turne away from me, and to ſerue other Gods: Then will the wrath of the Lorde waxe whote againſt you and deſtroy thée ſodenly: You are no Iſraelite, here might be ſayd, how then? yet a Chriſtian I trow, and by fayth the daughter of Abraham. Then this muſt you recken to be written for your learning. There are no Heathites, no Amorites, no Cananites to be feared: yet are many in our dayes bothe faythleſſe and godleſſe, as the obſtinate Papiſte & double dealing Goſpeller, in whom there is no leſſe daunger of deceite: and although the perſons be not one, yet litle differēce ſeemeth to be in the cauſe. For firſt mark the reaſon, and then apply it. The mariage of a Cananite was forbidden the Iſraelite, for feare leſt he ſhould be withdrawen from the true worſhippe of the true God of Iſraell: and do we not ſée in experience that the wicked wife corrupteth ſuch men as we iudge ſometime moſte vpright in lyfe and ſtedfaſt in profeſſion of the truthe. And howe muche more danger is there leaſt the vnbeléeuing and wicked man alter the good nature of the honeſt woman into his owne nature, ſéeing that to hym ſhe is ſubiect, as the body to the head? ye muſt of neceſſitie be one in fleſhe with him whome ye ſhall chooſe: foreſée therefore by wiſdome that hys religion be one with yours, ſée that you change not your maners with your name: preſume not of your ſelf herin, you are not wiſer than Salomon, yet as in the .9. of the .1. of the kings, his wiſdome was ſo bewitched by the means of thoſe forein womē with whō he matched in mariage, that he became a fond Idolater, & ſo fel into the hands of god. Of this example I truſt you will take ſufficient warning, ſo that herein I néede not make any moe wordes: vnleſſe you obiect to me or any other to you, the place of S. Paul 1. Cor. 7. The vnbeleeuing huſband is ſanctified by the wife, and the vnbeléeuing wife is ſanctified by the huſband If we marke the purpoſe of Saint Paule, the anſwer ſhall not be hard: The verſe next afore dothe conteine his purpoſe, which is that the beleeuing woman already maried to the vnbeléeuing man, ſhould not vſe his infidelitie as an occaſion to departe from him: the words are: The woman which hathe an huſbande whiche beleeueth not, if he be content to dwell with hir, let hir not forſake hym: and the other he ioyneth as a reaſon to confirme this ſentence, ſo that that place ſerueth to this, that if you and your huſband were firſt both of you vnbeleeuers, afterward it pleaſed God to call you to the knowledge of thys truthe, your huſband continuing in his infidelitie, or if nowe beeing grounded, you ſhoulde aduenture the mariage of an Infidell, you ought not yet for the hope of ſanctification to ſéeke a ſeparation For as you ſhould do ill to take on the yoke of an infidell, ſo ſhoulde you do worſe to ſhake it off withoute ſome iuſter cauſe: and although that be not a ſufficiente cauſe to breake the knot that is knit, whereas is hope of ſanctification, yet is it iuſt and neceſſarye wherefore to refraine mariage. For the mariage of an vngodly Infidell I graunt is a mariage, & not lightly to be diſſolued: but yet an vngodlye mariage, and that whiche lacketh ſanctification, whiche is eaſie to gather eue… of the ſame wordes of S. Paule alleaged. Wherefore as if your head were faſt in the yoke I would counſell you to continue for the hope of ſanctification, that you might win your huſbande: ſo nowe ſtanding frée, tempt not God, preſume not, match not with any that you knowe to be out of the houſholde of faythe for feare of corruption, leaſt you leeſe your ſelfe before you winne an other. Thus I hauehave ſpoken hitherto for my laſt wower, who pleadeth honeſtie, vertue and godlineſſe, and who I doubt not ſhall ſpéede, bicauſe that God is on his ſide. Here if ye demaunde of me, whether I woulde hauehave you ſo preciſe as only to regarde the honeſtie and vertue, withoute any further reſpect. Truely (although peraduenture I ſhall ſeeme too ſpirituall in this poynt) that if you had your eye fully fixed vpō y^e marke, without wauering other wayes, no doubt but God would proſper you the better, for as muche as he ſhall thereby hauehave triall that you depend wholly vponupon him and his prouidence, and then ſhall you be leaſt in danger of ſnares And of this, that it ought ſo to be, we may take a warning of the maner that God vſed in the firſt mariage making in the. 2. of Geneſis, as whileſt he was prouiding for Adam the woman that ſhuld be his wife and his cōfort, he cauſed an heauie ſléepe to fall vponupon the man, and whileſt he was a ſléepe, he tooke out that ribbe wherof he framed the woman. So verely I would thinke that God did moſt worke with you, if you layde Adam a ſleepe, I meane, if you remoued all carnall affections and worldly reſpectes whyche procéede as earthly from Adam, whyle that this bargaine were a driuing. This I know is farre wide from worldly wiſdome: but this way you ſhall go néereſt to make a mariage of Paradice, and ſo ſhall you ſéeme moſte to marrie in the Lord. And if you may not abide ſo ſtraite binding, yet ſwarue as litle as you may: if thys be not your whole building, yet at the leaſt let it be your chiefe foundation: if thys be your grounde, hauehave no doubt but there will growe and folowe other good followers. So then I thinke you ſhall gather a good ſumme if you caſt your accomptes in this wiſe: if vertue come alone, ſhe is not to be refuſed: if ſhe come with the companye of ſuche as the world eſtéemeth, not as a ſeruant but as a maiſtreſſe, which is hard and ſeldome, ſhe is alſo to be imbraced. But yet if you ſtande on this poynt, you are in greater danger to ſlide: for vertue clothed is not ſo ſure to truſt as if it be naked & bare. Then a little vertue excéeding in one, maye not be ſupplied with great ſtore, and abundance of other gifts and goodes in an other: for we muſt in our doings firſt ſeeke the kingdome of heauen, as for other things, after them ſeeke the Gentiles, if they be ſought with care, euen when we thinke vsus neareſt we are often furtheſt off, and ſhoote to ſhort. If we attaine the thing deſired, yet we lacke the fruition, as when we wanted the thing. If we enioy it, yet the ſpace is ſhorte. But if they come as vnbidden gueſtes, then are they moſt welcome: yea if we ſeeke them not, the promiſe is, they ſhall be caſt vntounto vsus: and if they be caſt, then come they in their kinde. Nowe then to ſpeake ſomewhat of other reſpects ſeuerally, you may remēber the ſuiter whom I commended vntounto you, I did ſo qualifie, that as I would not hauehave him godleſſe, ſo I wiſh him not to be witleſſe: for that I recken a moſt honeſt reſpect, ſo that you diſcerne the true wiſdom from the falſe, ſo that the ſimplicitie of the doue ioyne not with the wilineſſe of the ſerpent: nether ſhall this hinder my honeſt & godly wower in his ſuite, but rather further. For as fooles are fortunate, ſo the vertuous commonly hauehave leſſe want of wiſdome. The feare of the Lord is wiſdom. Iob. 28. Chryſt is the wiſdome of the father: therefore if you make accompt of true wiſdome, in this behalfe you ſhal be beſt ſped in the true Chriſtian: and by this I néede not to make compariſon betwixt the godly and the wiſe, ſo that you vſe your wiſdome to diſcerne and iudge aright of wiſdome, for as much as the right wiſdome the righteous hathe obteyned. Only if the compariſon ſtand betwixt the wiſe and the welthy or handſome, let Salomon be your counſellour here. Prouer. 8. Wiſdome is better than precious ſtones, and al pleaſures are not to be compared vntounto hir: and Prouer. 16. How much better is it to get wiſedome than golde, and to get vnderſtanding is more to be deſired than ſiluer. And thus the Preacher maketh compariſon. cap. 7. Wiſdome is good with an inheritance, and excellent to them that ſée the ſame: for a man ſhall reſt in the ſhadowe of wiſdome, and in the ſhadowe of ſiluer. But the excellencie of the knowledge of wiſedome gyueth life to the poſſeſſors thereof.

Nowe if the righteous and the riche ſtande in compariſon, yet I truſt my poore ſpirited ſuter ſhall not be outfaced, you ſitting as iudge: and ſuche I truſt ſhall be your ſentence, as was Themiſtocles anſwere (a Captayne among the Grecians, to thys queſtion) whether a man ſhould beſtow his daughter vponupon a good poore man, or vponupon a riche man not ſo honeſt? his aunſwere was (as Tullie ſheweth, lib. 2. officiorum) I rather lyke the man who lacketh mony, than money which wanteth a man. So little thought he that riches and ſubſtance did make a matter of mariage, that ſhe ſéemed not to him to marrie for anye regarde of the man, that hath ſuch reſpect of riches: and that ſhe that maryed not an honeſt man, did ſcarſe marie a man. Some in déede hauehave their fanſie ſo ledde as thoughe moneye made men: But let this be your Poeſie rather, when you make your mariage: Manners makes man. Conſider the ſaying of the Prophet. Pſal. 37. and Prou. 16. A ſmall thing that the iuſt man hathe, is better than great riches of the vngodly, wicked and mightie. There is a good péece of counſel in the .13. of Eccleſiaſticus, concerning thoſe with whome we may not win familiaritie, for he ſayth: Burthen not thy ſelfe aboue thy power whileſt thou liueſt, and company not with one that is mightier and richer than thy ſelfe: for howe agrée the Kettle and the earthen pot togither? For if the one be ſmitten againſt the other, it ſhall be broken. Wherefore in thys behalf an equalitie were a goodly propertie. That would take away the occaſion of ſuch quarrels and complaints as the vnequall matches (we ſée) lay one in the others diſh, which choaking morſels you know are not eaſie to digeſt. I wiſh you welth and riches, for I knowe they are the good gifts of God. But I feare leaſt vertue will be ouer whelmed where ſuch flouds breake out. He that will tarrie for the company of a rich man to go to heauen, it will be long or he come there. For his way is as ſtreite as the eye of a néedle, and he himſelfe as huge as a Camel Eccleſiaſticus maketh a maruaile of y^e rich vpright man .20. or .2. Chap. HaueHave not this mind with you (ſiſter) as to ſéeke a rich mariage For then you miſſe of the right marke of mariage ordeyned for your comforte: there lyeth not the way leading to reſt and quietneſſe .6. Timo. For they that will be rich, fall into temptations and ſnares, and into many fooliſh and …oyſome luſtes whiche drowne men in perdition and deſtruction, and repeate that ſaying with your ſelfe: the deſire of money is the roote of al euil. Take heede that that roote ouergrow not other good floures: but hearken vntounto the ſentence that our Sauioure pronounceth: Woe be vntounto you that are rich, for you hauehave receiued your conſolation. Luke .6. Theſe therefore be the boundes that S. Paule appointeth vsus: If we hauehave, ſayth he, foode and rayment, let vsus therwith be content. Truly herein conſiſteth not true riches to poſſeſſe this earthly treaſure, the meate of Mothes, and the bayte of theeues: But ſuche as my commended ſuter poſſeſſeth, if you may be partaker thereof, then maye you ſay: my lot is fallen to me on a faire grounde, and that you hauehave a goodlye heritage. Godlineſſe (ſaith the Apoſtle) is greate gaine, if a man be content with that he hath: euen that is it which my ſuter bringeth, godlineſſe with contentation. Wherefore then ſhoulde you deſire the mariage of the rich? you ſée it bringeth no reſt: you ſée godlineſſe is the true riches. Do you ſeeke to ſtabliſh vntounto you and yours an inheritance? Hearken then what the Prophete ſayth. Pſal .37. The euill doers ſhall be cut off, and they that wayt vponupon the Lord, they ſhall inherite the land. Agame, the meeke men ſhall poſſeſſe the earth. And againe, the Lord knoweth the dayes of vpright men, & their inheritance ſhall be perpetuall. Do you ſeeke a continuance & perpetuitie in things? Iames ſayth, as when the ſun riſeth with heate thē the graſſe withereth & his floure falleth away, & the beautie of the faſhion of it periſheth: euē ſo ſhal the rich man fade away in all his wayes. But the iuſt they floriſh like the palme trée, they are like y^e Bay trée, euen gréene & freſh like themſelues. Pro .12. The roote of the righteous ſhal not be moued. Do you deſire to hauehave ſuch a head as may beſt defend you from iniuries and oppreſſions: who is of more might than the righteous? Dauid ſayth. Pſal. 34. The angell of the Lord pitcheth rounde about them that feare him & deliuereth them. And againe: the eares of the lord are open vntounto their praiers, and his eares are open vntounto their crie, yea he kepeth their bones that none of thē be broken, he numbreth their heares that none of them be loſt. Do you feare peril or penurie? of the righteous thus ſaith y^e Prophet. Pſa. 37. They ſhal not be confoūded in the perillous time, and in the days of famine they ſhall hauehave inough. You will ſay, for my ſelfe I can hold my ſelfe content, but my childrens caſe moueth me. Harkē how Dauid ſpeaketh of his experience. Pſal. 37. I hauehave bin yong and now am old, yet I ſaw neuer y^e righteous forſaken, nor his ſéede begging their bread. Doubtleſſe GOD ſhall prouyde for you and yours ſufficientlye and abundantly, if you caſte awaye all ſuche worldly reſpectes, and muche more than otherwiſe. Nowe I thinke theſe ſhall ſuffice to vnderſet and ſtaye you vp that you fall not on this ſide. The next care concerneth my ſecond ſuter, that he take you not with the bayte of beautie, wherby manye wiſe women and men hauehave bin deceyued, and with a ſhorte pleaſure hauehave purchaſed long and deſperate repentance. This cauſed Salomon to commit follie .11. of the 1. Kings. This cooled ſhe mightie Sampſons courage. Iud. 16. Did not the beautie of Bethſeba ſo rauiſh y^e eyes of holy Dauid, that he committed with hir moſte abhominable adulterie, and made him alſo guiltie of bloudſhed? So it is written .11. of .2. Samuel. He ſaw a woman waſhing hir ſelfe, and the woman was very beautifull to looke vponupon. You might abuſe theſe examples to folly, as to ſaye: Theſe men were notable for ſtrength, for wiſedome, for godlyneſſe: maruaile not then (mighte you ſaye) though I be ouercome in that caſe. Not ſo ſiſter, but thys conſider in theſe examples, that if ſuch of ſo excellent graces hauehave bene ledde awaye with theſe traynes, you hauehave hereby a faire warning to beware, and to be very circumſpect in ſo ſubtill a pointe and ſo daungerous a caſe: if you giuegive place to ſuch fantaſies that they ouercome reaſon, you may ſoone ſlip into thoſe inconueniences that you ſee in the examples of others, you may plucke the houſe on your head as Sampſon dyd. As you chooſe your marke ſo goeth your game: as you make your foundation, ſo will your building be: if the one be ſtedfaſt, the other will not lightly ſhake: but if the one be not ſurely grounded, a little blaſt marreth much work: ſurely the handſome perſon of man is not of long continuaunce. Beſides that, it is ſubiect to corruption by innumerable meanes. Wherfore if your mariage hang vponupon that knot, a little force will breake it, a little laboure will vndoe it, and of it ſelfe it will decay and weare away. If this fanſie be y^e leader of your louelove, you follow a blinde guide, you may ſoone ſlide and wander out of your right waye. Many an vnſauery wéede beareth a faire bloſſome: ſo vnderunder a faire face, there lieth hiddē many a foule fault, and with ſounde looke often is couered the hollow heart, all hatred. (A liuelye example in Abſolon. 14. Sam. 2.) I hauehave read an hiſtorie of one Paulus Aemilius a noble man of Rome, matched with a wife called Papiria, both for birth and beautie (to iudge) worthye ſuche an huſbande. Howbeit he diuorced hir: and when hir friends entreated for hir, demaunding of him what ſhoulde be the cauſe mouing him ſo to doe, for they ſaw none, ſéeing that ſhe was to behold manerly and modeſt, fayre and fruitefull. Then he for anſwere, thruſteth out hys foote, and ſayth: Beholde, ſee my ſhoe, is it not fayre? is it not newe? yet none of you woteth where it wringeth me. Belyke there was ſome ſecret fault in that woman not to be borne withall, whych was ſo lothſome vntounto the huſbande, as hir beautie coulde be pleaſant. Be aduiſed therefore leaſt you finde that your handſome huſband hauehave that, which this man found in his faire wife. If you will not that your ſhoe wring, meaſure hym before you buie, and iudge not of hym by the colour, but meaſure him rather within than without, leaſt you wring for it afterwarde. The goodly perſonage without wiſedome & vertue, what is it better than a painted man? Plato y^e Philoſopher in the perſon of Socrates thus ſaith to Alcibiades: He that at any time hath loued Alcibiades body, hath not loued Alcibiades himſelf: but he that loueth thée, loueth thy minde, nunc tui corpus amatur. &c. And the wiſe Tullie ſayth: Man is as his mind is, & not that forme & figure whiche may be pointed at with y^e finger. For this you vnderſtande that man conſiſteth of two parts, y^e one as y^e mind endued with reaſon that beareth y^e image of god: the other as y^e body which we hauehave common wyth the brute beaſts. Wherefore Dauid you know, cōpareth that mā that lacketh vnderſtanding vntounto horſe & mule: and I me thinkes, may well cōpare ſuch luſty lads whoſe commendation is onelyonly on their perſonage, and lacketh learning, witte, and honeſtie, vntounto Plato his Man, as Diogenes called. When that Plato in his ſchoole had defined a man in this wiſe, as to be a lyuing and twofooted creature, made vpright and without any feathers: Diogenes thinking that he had not well defined or expreſſed the nature, bycauſe he ſuppreſſed that which was moſt proper to man, and did concerne the mynde and gifte of reaſon, he pluckte me a Capon bare and turned him into the ſchole, ſaying: Beholde Platos man. Thus is a man if you conſider not his mind, a foole, what is he but an vnfeathered foule? A man without maners, what is he better than a capon without feathers? Wherefore if you méete any ſuch in your dyſhe, eſtéeme him as you liſt, I hauehave tolde you the price. Truſt not to ſoone thoſe faire faces, which come like capons vponupon ſoppes and Sugar. That braue apparell, what is it but Pecockes feathers? the good cōplexion, the ſtrength of the body, the white hand, the cleane leg, what are theſe, but fading flattering floures? what but baites to deceiue the fooliſhe fiſhe? all theſe ſerue but to pleaſe the eye, and to ſatiſfie the fantaſie of the fleſhe. Conſider what is writtē in the .6. of Geneſis. The ſonnes of God ſawe the daughters of mē that they were faire, & they toke thē wiues of all that they liked. Therefore the Lorde ſayde: my ſpirite ſhall not alway ſtriue with man. &c. Beholde that fleſhly fanſie of mariage, for that they thereby abuſed and polluted the holy ordinaunce of God, is expreſſed there as one of the cauſes that prouoked God ſo to powre out the raine of his wrath, and to deſtroy all fleſhe from the face of the earth. Wherefore in this point I end with the exhortation of S. Iohn .1. Epiſt. 2. chap. LoueLove not the world, neither the thinges that are in the worlde: if any man louelove the world, the louelove of the father is not in him: for al that is in the worlde, as the luſt of the fleſhe, the luſt of the eyes, and the pryde of life, is not of the father, but is of the worlde: and the world paſſeth away and the luſt thereof: but he that fulfilleth the will of God abydeth for euer. By theſe, ſiſter, you may cōſider the true and ſure waye you hauehave to walke: you hauehave the bywayes that may cauſe you to wāder, in ſome ſort ſtopped vp: you may ſee, if it pleaſe you, the good and the bad, although ſet forthe but in a rude glaſſe, Sing not now Medeas ſong, who ſayd: I ſee and allowe the better, but yet I folow the worſe. GiueGive not Venus your apple, but giuegive y^e vertuous your wedding ring: then ſee how you hauehave headded your arrow. And then ſée the bliſſed eſtate you ſtande in, he is yours for better or for worſe, for richer, for poorer, he ſhal be to you an huſband, to your childrē a father, to your friendes a fauorer, to your enimies a terror, he ſhall willingly beare part of all your blowes and burdens, he ſhall double your proſperitie, he ſhall mourne when you wéepe, he ſhall laugh whē you are glad, his louelove is ſure ſealed, euen ioyned by God himſelfe. He is not like the riche of whō the ſonne of Syrach ſaith. chap. 13. if thou be for his profite he vſeth thée, but if thou hauehave nothing, he will forſake thée. He is not like the light louer for beauty, of whom the wiſe Plato ſaith: He that loueth thée for thy fauor, whē that decayeth he wil giuegive thée ouer. But he ſhal be one with you both body & ſoule, he ſhall walke forth with you here your pilgrimage on earth, and ſhall lead you the way to eternall reſt. He ſhall be bliſſed in all his affaires, if Dauid be a true Prophete. 1. Pſal. His wife alſo ſhal be bliſſed, he ſhall hauehave ſéede and bliſſed ſéede: for Pſal. 114. Bliſſed is the man that feareth the Lord, and delighteth in his commaundements, his ſéede ſhall be mightie vponupon earth, the generation of the righteous ſhall be bliſſed: riches and treaſure ſhall be in his houſe, & his righteouſneſſe ſhall endure foreuer Pſal. 128. Bliſſed is eueryevery one that feareth the Lorde and walketh in his wayes: when thou eateſt the labors of thy hands thou ſhalt be bliſſed, and it ſhall be well with thée, thy wife ſhal be as the fruitful Vine on the ſides of thy houſe, euen your huſbands wife ſhal be ſuch a one, if your huſband be ſuch a one: & thy childrē like the Oliue braunches round about thy table. This Dauid promiſeth and prophecieth, & confirmeth it againe, ſaying: Loe ſurely, thus ſhall the man be bliſſed (in marying) that man that feareth the Lorde. You will ſaye peraduenture I woulde thinke my ſelfe wel beſtowed vponupon ſuch a man: but the craft is in the catching, the doubt is in the obteyning. But goe you forward in your race of vertue, and then you ſhall not goe farre before you méete with a mete match, It is an olde ſaying: The like loueth the like. The ſonne of Syrach ſayth chap. 13. All fleſhe will reſort to their like, and eueryevery man will kéepe companie with ſuche as he is himſelfe. A vertuous woman ſaith he chap. 26. is a good portion and a gift to be giuen to ſome iuſt Ioſeph, or ſome true Tobias. You know that eueryevery good gifte commeth from God as the firſte father and founder: yet in this caſe God appeareth more euidently to ſtrike the ſtroke to worke as it were immediatly within with his own hand: So ſaith Salomon Prouerb. 19. Houſe and riches are the inheritaunce of the fathers, but a prudent wife commeth of the Lorde. Wherefore although there be good tokens & markes whereby to make your choiſe, as by the fruit to iudge the trée: & as Eccl. ſaith .27. The word declareth the hart, the talk is the trial of men: yet bicauſe theſe are rather probable coniectures than ſure demonſtrations (for fame oftētimes lieth, the eye deceiueth, the tong diſſembleth) therefore whē you hauehave caſt the whole & the ſumme, yet God is al in al this matter, & the onelyonly maker of good mariages. Be frée then from worldly buſineſſe, be cleare from carnall affections, caſt your hope vponupon God, depende vponupon his prouidence, commit the matter wholly to his hands, reſort & flée to him with oft & earneſt prayer. For that whē al other ways be tried, is the plaineſt to ſéeke, the ſureſt to truſt, the redieſt to find for ſuch as ſeek good wiues & good huſbands. You hauehave a good example in the .24. of Geneſis, howe Abrahā proceeded in the mariage of his ſonne Iſaack: you hauehave there the prayer that the ſeruaunt of Abraham made, to whom this charge was cōmitted, howe he entring his iorney, deſired God to proſper him, & to ſhewe mercy vntounto his maſter Abraham, & that God according to his faithful prayer, gaue him a token, wherby he choſe y^e faire vertuous virgin Rebecca For hir parents, whē they perceiued that God wrought with mā, could not deny their goodwil vntounto Iſaack, but anſwered: This thing is procéeded of the Lorde, we can not therfore ſay vntounto thée neither euil nor good. You hauehave there alſo the exerciſe of Iſaack, how he was occupied in the mean time, while Rebecca was taken out of his rib. Moyſes ſayth: He went out to pray in the field towards the euening, & that Rebecca firſt founde him ſo occupied. This is al, ſiſter, that I hauehave now to be ſaid: giuegive your ſelfe ouer wholly vntounto God to be your guide. Let your eyes be ſo earneſt bent vponupon hym, as they were wont to be vponupon your maiſtreſſe whome you hauehave heretofore ſerued: then ſhall God, no doubt, giuegive you as a portion to the righteous, he ſhall ſo ioyne you, that mā may not ſeparat you: Chriſt ſhalbe preſent with you, as at the mariage of Cana: he ſhall conducte you with his holy ſpirite, he ſhall turne your water into wine, he ſhal make the ſowre ſwéete, and proſper all your affaires: In meane time, while God worketh, be not you idle, but practiſe your ſelf in Iſaacks exerciſe, and God ſhall ſende you an huſband of his kynde, euen a faithfull ſonne of Abraham, a choſen childe of God. God ſhall ſende his Angell to leade that man vntounto your houſe, euen as he brought Tobias vntounto Sara at the houſe of hir father Raguel. And as my poore prayer maye helpe, the Lord (I beſéech him) guide you with his holy ſpirite, and prouide you an head for your comfort, graunt you long to liue and euer to louelove togither with the encreaſe of your godly children.

FINIS.