Treatise of Conscience Wherein Divers Secrets are Discovered, Chapter 11
CHAP. XI.
How long the trouble of the Conscience may continue, how peace enters in, and how long it may remaine.
AL men that are in troble or in pain, wald gladly vnderstand when their paine & trouble suld take an end: And in speciall, they that hes an inward trouble of the mind, that hes a paine in their soul & Conscience, and a feling of Gods wrath, burning aganis them, that are maist desirous to hauehave that feid reconciled, and to know how long their paine & troble will indure. All men (I say) wald hear of comfort & releefe: but fewe hes regard howe long they hauehave rebelled agains God, how long they hauehave followit the affections of their own heart, and hes refusit to be reformed by Gods holy word & discipline. Were it not then good reason, O man! that the Lord punished thee as long, as he hes suffered thee? and that thy paine suld continue as long, as thou hes continued in thy sin and rebellions? But it is with a mercifull partie thou hes to do, quhilk is slow to anger, & redie to forgiue; whose clemencie I would exhort thee not to abuse, but to comfort thy self in it: For he is also just in his judgements;Heb. 10. 31 and it is a fearefull thing to fall in his hands. He hes shewen thee himselfe, when he wil forget thine iniquities; to wit, even then, when thou turns to him by earnest & vnfained repentance: But as to the time, when the inward paine of thy Conscience sall cease, and thou receiue peace thereof, It is vnknowne to man: yea, it is als vncertaine when the Lord will remoue his scourge & punishment, as it is vncertain when he will lay it on: For it is to be marked, that the chastisement is not alwaies removed so soone as the sin is remitted: but for the singular weill and profit of the offender, wil continue to work patience in him, & to serue as a bridle to refraine him from falling in the like offences; while the Lord hauehave sufficiently purified him from such corruption.2. Sam. 12. 10. 14. When David committed adultery & murther, by taking the wife of Vriah, and causing him selfe to be slaine; vponupon his repentance, the Prophet Nathā saide to him, that the Lord had put away his sin, & that he suld not die: Nevertheles, because by that deed, he had despised the Lord, and caused the enemies of the Lord to blaspheme; he declarit vntounto him, that the sword suld never depart from his house; & that the child that was borne in adulterie to him suld surely dy. But to return to the point of the matter quhilk we hauehave in hand: I hauehave heard of sundry persons, quhilk hes ben disquieted in spirit & Conscience, some for a year, some for two, some for three yeares, and some longer: (though not continually tormented, but by certain intervalls of time) & at length hes obtained inwarde quietnes and rest. But of the day & houre knawis no man.Psal. 119. 82. 148. & 69. 3. The man of God, Dauid saith, that he was wearie of crying, that his throat was dry, and that his eies were blinded with looking for the Lords deliverance: If then he suffered so long, thou suld not dispair albeit thine affliction appeare longsome, but rather suld be content to suffer with the elect vessel of god. Alwaies thou may comfort thy selfe in this; that the lower thou be brought, the greter thy torment be, & the longer it continue; apparantly, when the releif comes, thy comfort and exaltation salbe the mair notabil & gret. Bot what matter is it, when thy deliverance be, if thou haif certification of gods spirit, that it salbe; and that vponupon thy true repentance thy sins ar remitted & forgiuen?Ro. 8. 18. Considering, that al the pain quhilk thou can suffer in this life, is not worthy of that glory quhilk the Lord hes prepared for al them that loues him. Prescribe not therfore any time of thy deliverance, neither think that the Lord is slow: for he hes his own appointit time for al things; and when thou art farthest casten down, & hes given over al hope of warldly help, & reposis on thy God only, then is the Lord neerest vntounto thee, to comfort and deliuer thee. Now as to the maner & forme how the trouble of mans conscience passis away, and true peace enters in; It is obserued in som persons to be this: There wil preceid & go before, an earnest repentance of the evil past, & a fervent desire to amend, & do wel: Man wil be heavily displesit with him selfe for his foul deffections, & wil tak a determinat resolution to reforme his life, & to do that quhilk is plesant in the sight of God; In sik sort, that throgh fervencie and grief, he wil feel an extreame dolor, & wil weep bitterly: Yea, he that before could never wring out a tear, nor be perfitly moued for his sin; when the spirit of God enters in & pearsis the heart, he sal be liuely touched, sair grieued, & sal not be able to containe himself, nor to refrain from weeping. Nixt after sik perturbation, will followe a calmnes & quietnes of the mind; & suddenly wil arise a sure perswasion in the heart of the favour of God, and of the remission of sins: quhilk sall bring with it an exceeding great gladnes and reviuing of the spirit. Man wil then begin to banish all vaine feare & superstition in his doings; & with greter confidence will vse a christian libertie in doing of thinges lawefull to be done; his feare will be no more servile, but childish: For he wil not then fear the Lord, as the servant fears his awful master, or as the criminal person fears the terribil judg: But as the Son feares to offend his loving father; so wil he (being inflamed with louelove and fervent zeall) feare to offend the Majestie of his good God. Farther, he wil cum with a greter assurance to the Lord, in making his supplications: and wil not be moued with such vaine cogitations & doubtings; as he was, when his Conscience was weak & wounded. To be short, hee will be mair constant nor of before, & wil hauehave a certain contentment & rejoicing in al his actions, joined with the testimony of a gud and peaceable Conscience: yea, hauing obtained this inwarde tranquilitie & peace, man wil think himselfe so strong and sure, that he sall never be troubled againe, with the like accusation & terrour of his Conscience. But leist any suld be deceived in this point; It is to be vnderstand, that so soone as ever it sall please the Lord to turn away his favorable face, to shew his angry countenance, and to menace man for sinne, so soone sal newe terrours & torment of the spirit and Conscience arise again. The chosen vessell of God,Psal. 30. 6 King David, saide in his prosperitie, I sal never be moved: but thou Lord (saith he) didst hide thy face, & I was troubled. Therefore when thou hes receiued hevenly consolation, look not to keep it at thy pleasure: For temptation ceaseth not any long time, neither is that comfort laudable, but to be feared, quhilk makes a man to forget his sin altogither. The Lord cures his elect by temptation, and comfort. And Iob saith,Iob. 7. 18. that the Lord dois visite man every morning, and tries him every moment. I knowe a notable Preacher of Gods worde (whome I doubt not but God hes ordained for his kingdome) who being sum time sore afflicted in Conscience, at last obtained comfort, & had inward peace for the space of many yeares. Nevertheles, at the plesure of the Lord, he was visited again of new; and divers & sundrie times wald be for the space of a MonethMonth or two, grievously troubled: Of this same man, while he was yet in good estat, I inquired, how he reposed in the night: I wil take reasonable good rest (saith he) If God make vsus not to remember the faults quhilk wee hauehave committed in our youth: Yea, surely, when it pleasis the Lord at any time, to present mans sinns before him, in their vgliest form, & therewithall to perce the heart; albeit man thocht himself in never so great securitie, and confidit never sa meikil in his own constancie, & strength: yet the sight thereof sal ever trouble him, after an extraordinar maner. Heirfore, my dear brother, when new trouble arisis, and when thou feelest a want of the favour of God; be not dismaied nor despaired: For it is no new thing;Iohn. 3. 9. but a thing costomable to the dearest servants of God. The spirit of God goes and comes at his pleasure, but will never abandon his Elect altogether. Seing then, that the whol course of a christians life, is but a continuall battel, a continuall falling by sin, and rising by repentance: And that the Lord will not suffer the Consciences of his servaunts to be long vnexercised: I wil now shew thee my opinion, howe thou suld behaue thy selfe, hauing (after long troble) obtained comfort, and peace of Conscience, and while thy spirit is yet at rest.