Treatise of Conscience Wherein Divers Secrets are Discovered, Chapter 9
CHAP. IX.
A Praier to be said by such, as are trobled in spirit & conscience, throgh sight of their sins.
IVst, dreadful, almightie, merciful, & everliuing God! Who by thine al seing spirit, seest the deeds, hears the words, & knowes the secret thochts of al hearts: Behold me poor wretch, in thy merciemercy, here on the face of this low earth, prostrat before thine holy & high throane. Alace! I confes Lord, that I am not worthie to lift vp my face to heaven, nor to receiue any comfort or good thing of thy hands: For I hauehave sinned, alace! I hauehave sinned aganis thee, I hauehave broken thy statutes, I hauehave abused thy clemencie & benefits, I hauehave committit abhomination, & followitthe affections and lusts of mine owne heart. Wherefore, thou hast nowe, Lord, afflicted me, and that most justly: Thou hast made mine owne Conscience to accuse, & torment me: my soul is vehemently vexed, and heauie vntounto death, my heart is faint through anguish, and my flesh consumes and pines for feare of the stroke of thy hand. Thou art angrie, O Lord? thou art angrie: but who is able to abide thy fearce wrath? Thou knowest that man is but a vaine thing,Psal. 39. 5 his life is like a vapour, or a shadow which vanisheth away in an instant, and the imaginations of his hart are euil and wicked.Genes. 8. 21 I am but dust, & like the flowre of the field which withers and decaies suddenly; I cannot abide the heat of thine anger. It is true, Lord, that I am inexcusable, and sinful out of measure; but merciemercy belongs vntounto thee; let thy merciemercy therefore abound, and appear infinite in forgiving me many sins, I turne me vntounto thee, O Lord, turne thee againe vntounto me; I seeke thy face, hide not thy favourable face from me; but let the bright blenks of thy loving countenance shine on me: For thou knowest, it repenteth me of the evil which I hauehave done, and that I trust in thee: But, Lord supply my deficient repentance, and helpe my vnbeleefe: For my repentance is imperfect, and my faith is weake. None can come to thee, vnlesse thou draw them;Iohn. 6. 44. nor can beleeue while they be conuerted by thy spirite: Draw me therefore vntounto thee, and I shal come; convert me, and I shal be converted. O Lord, Thou knowest the dolour & sorrowe of my heart for my sinne, thou seest my miserie and trouble: Day and night I mourne and I lament, my face is al bedewed with teares, and my soul werieth of my life: I am a monster to them that beholds me, and mine acquaintance wonders at my miserie. There is no help in man, neither doth any worldly consolation availe me. No Man, nor Angell is able to releeue mee, but thou onelyonly: without thy help, Lord, I am but lost for euer. But when did you ever reject the heauie heart, & the oppressed Conscience quhilk did seek to thee with continuance? Thou delights not in the death of sinners but would hauehave al men to repent,Eze. 18. 23 and be saued:1. Tim. 2. 4. Thou art slowe to anger and redy to forgiue:2. Pet. 3. 9. Thy wrath is consaued in the morning and forgot in the evening: Thy merciemercy exceeds my sinnes, and all things in greatnes; and there is no end with thy compassion. Let not then, O Lord, thy merciemercy be shut vp in displeasure; be not angrie with me for ever, neither correct me any more in thy wrath: For I am no more in thy hands, nor the potshard is in the handes of the potter: But remember thy wonted mercies, and workes of olde shewed to thy servants Abraham, Isaac, & Iacob, to Moses, David; and to thy people Israel: Remember the death and obedience of thy deare sonne Iesus Christ; remember the anguish of his heart, when he praied vntounto thee, that night he was betraied; & his cries on the crosse, when he cried vntounto thee, My God, my God! why hes thou forsaken me? Was it not for my sin, O Lord, that he suffered these things? Loose not then thy poor servant whome thou hes so dearlie bought with the blud of thy Lamb: Behold him, Lord, sitting at thy right hand, & let thy wrath be apesed with me, in regarding his humble countenance: HaueHave not respect to my deseruings, & vnworthines; but vntounto his death and obedience: Impute his righteousnes vntounto me, & let his justice, be made my justice; for he hes redemit me: yea, for thine own mercies sake, & merits of thine only Son, my saviour, cast my sins behind thy back, remember my iniquities no more, and hauehave pittie on my distres & miserie. Behold, Lord, I am here, what is thy will with me? what sal I do? what course sall I take? how sal behaue my selfe in this my troble, & during the whol pilgrimage of my life? Make answere vntounto me: for I will not leaue crying vntounto thee. Yea, though thou suld kil me, yet wil I not depart from thee, but will still trust in thee. My whole desire is to please thee, shew me thy will, therefore, & enlarge my hart, that I may obey thy voice, & fulfill thy commandements. O my God! Raise me vp in thy merciemercy, as thou hast casten me downe in thy justice: let me see thy salvation and deliverance from the bondage of Satan, of sin, and of mine owne concupiscence. I thirst for thy merciemercy and grace, O Lord, as the dry ground dois for the running waters: Redresse my faultes therefore, let them be freely forgiuen, as though they had never bene committed: And as thou hes giuen me a feeling of my sinne, and of thine indignation against sinne: So giuegive me a sure perswasion of the remission of my sin, and a feeling of thy favour, without the quhilk I cannot liue. Driue away the darknes of my minde; Let all these troublesome cogitations, vaine feare, incredulitie and mistrust depart from me: Settle and pacifie my perturbed spirite, binde vp my wounded Conscience, heale my contrite & broken heart, restore my courage and my strength, restore me to that joye quhilk I was woont to finde in thee. And if it be thy pleasure, Lord, remooue thy scourge from me: for I hauehave felt enough thy hand: mitigate my pain, & let me see the issue of my troubles, that I may be able to beare them: yet, not as I will Lord, but as thou wilt: If thy glory may be advanced through my sufferings; or thy power made perfect through my infirmitie and weaknesse; let mee suffer whatsoeuer pleaseth thee: Try me, as the gold & as the silver, quhilk is purified in the fornace, while I be made a meet temple of thy holie spirit, and be well prepared for thy kingdome. Alwaies acording to thy promise & faithfulnes, tempt me not aboue that quhilk I am able to beare: For thou knowest I am weak, and am but flesh. GiueGive me therfore patience, strenth, and constancie with the triall, that I may suffer, resist, overcum, & inherit al things. Let thy constant and good spirit rest in me, O Lord, that I may stand stedfast vntounto the end of this battell; that I fret not with my self, after the maner of the wicked, nor cast off thy crosse throgh impatiencie: but that I may adhere firmly vntounto thee, humblie submit my selfe to thy will, patiently waite and watch for thy comming and deliverance, and be hartilie well content with thy good pleasure, whatsoeuer crosse or afflictioun it shall please thee to lay on me: For thou knowest what is good for me, thou hes al power in heuen, and in earth, thou hes a continuall care and louelove towards thy chosen Children, thou art constant, and true in thy promises, and thy merciemercy and loving kindnes indures for ever. I will alwaies waite on thee (my God) I will suffer thy stripes & correction: for I hauehave deserued them. I render my selfe vntounto thee; I giuegive me over, soul & body, in thy hands; I submit me all whollie to thy will; rule, & vse the work of thy hands, as seems good in thine eies: For I am thy servant: yea, whether I be in prosperitie, or adversitie; in wealth, or in povertie; in estimation, or disesteemed; in joy, or in heavines; in plesure, or in paine; in health, or in sicknes; whether I liue or die, I am alwaies thine, thy servant, & work of thine owne hands. Graunt me therefore, O Lord, onlie thy loving countenance, thy blessing, thy fauour, and thy grace; and then I sall hauehave ynough; they salbe sufficient for me; that is all that I craue: For thou sall make my heart more joyful therby, nor they quhilk possesseth great kingdomes. O louing father, hide mee vnderunder the shadowe of thy wings, and performe that worke quhilk thou hes begunne in me, to thy glorie to my comfort and salvatioun; that I may praise thee, & thy deare son Iesus Christ, in whose name, & for whose sake I craue these things at thy bountifull handes,Ioh. 16. 24 as he hes taught and commanded me. To thee throgh him, be al honor & glorie, in heaven and in earth, for euer. Amen.
O holy Lambe, and only sonne of the everliving God! The light of the world, and redeemer of mankind; (my sweet Saviour Iesus Christ) I come vntounto thee, as vntounto my onlie stay and refuge, wearie, & laden with sorrow, and with sin, and sore thirsting for thy grace & merciemercy. Therefore, according to thy promise, ease me of my burden;Mat. 11. 28 and giuegive me of the water of life to drink,Iohn. 4. 14 whereby my thirst may be quenched for ever. Thou hast promised likewise, O Lord, to be with vsus vntounto the end of the worlde: Be with me then, as thou hes promised, now in my extreame trouble, and vrgent necessitie: For I am thine, & I trust in thee. Behold (my God) I hauehave gone long astray, like a lost sheep, my sinnes hes almost deceiued mee; For through the multitude thereof, I hauehave provoked & kindled the wrath of thy Father against me▪ Wherefore I am broght wondrous low, and am reduced to great extremitie: my soule is wo and sore grieued, that I hauehave offendit his Majestie: but thou art able to raise me out of the dust, & to reconcile thy Father with me: For thou art his anointed: Hee hes sent thee to bind vp the broken harted,Esai. 61. 1 to preache libertie to the captiues, to preache good tydings to the poore, the recovering of sight to the blind, the opening of the prison to them that are bound, to preache the acceptable year of the Lord, to comfort them that morne, to giuegive them bewtie for ashes, the oyle of joye for mourning, and the garment of gladnes, for the spirit of heavines. O gracious Saviour! thou came not in the worlde to saue the righteous, but to bring sinners to repentance, whereof I am one of the greatest: Raise me vp therefore O my God, be thy mightie hand, wash away my sinnes with thy precious blood, make mee white, as the snowe and wooll, cloth me with thy righteousnes, pacifie the wrath of thy father conceiued aganis me for those sins, for the quhilk thou hes alreadie made ful satisfaction. Stand betwixt him and mee that his burning yre consume me not: O gracious mediator! make intercession to his diuine Majestie for me: present mee faltles vntounto him: And let the comforter comfort me, & put me in remembrance of al things; that through his governance I may be safely conducted through al the perrels and temptations of this world, to thy celestiall kingdome, there to glorifie thee, the father, and the holy spirit, in eternall vnitie, with all kind of praise, and exaltation for ever. Amen. Make hast, O Lord, and tary not; that hauing obteined new experience of thy merciemercy, I may declare the same to my bretheren, that others through my example may flie sin, & they quhilk are likewise dejected, may learne to seek help, and comfort in their trouble, where it is to be found; even at thy hands, O Lord, to thy perpetual glorie, to the comfort of thy Kirk, and overthrowe of the kingdome of Satan.