The Souls Preparation for Christ, Treatise (3 of 5)

The Souls Preparation for Christ · Treatise (3 of 5)

p. 1032The second ground, secondly if it be so that mercy will not prevaile with you, if you have no good nature in you, then secondly, consider that this is a just God, that hath beene provoked by your sinnes, if mercy cannot prevaile with you, p. 104you shall have Iustice enough, and that without mercy; you must not thinke to slight Gods mercy, and carry it away in that fashiō. But God is a just God, as he is a gratious God; he will be revenged of you; If there be any stubborne heart shall say, God is mercifull, and what then? therefore we may live as we list, and be as carelesse as we please: Take heed, that just law that hath been condemned, and those righteous statutes that hath beene broken, and God hath beene provoked by you, will be revenged of you; did ever any provoke the Lord and prosper, and shall you beginne? first thinke you where is Ny…rod and Nebuchadnezer, and Pharoah, and Herod, and those proud persons that set their mouths against God and their hearts against heaven, they that provoked the Lord, what is now become of them? they are now in the lowermost pit of hell.

God sent Pharoah into the red sea, and for ought we know, his soule may now be roaring in hell; this is certaine, that whosoever resisteth him shall find him a swift Judge to condemne him. The Apostle saith, Hebr. 12. and last, our God is a consuming fire. and in Deut. 22. and 32. If my fire be kindled, it shall burne to the bottome of hell. That Iustice of God will not be appeased without satisfaction; that Justice is wise, and connot be deceived, that Justice is powrefull, and cannot be resisted, and not only justice, but mercy & patience will come in, and plead for vengeance against the sinner, and that will be the forest plague of all. When you appeare before God what wil you expect? p. 105you will call for mercy to save you, and for patience to beare with you. No, no, saith Mercy, Iustice Lord; I have beene despised. Iustice saith, Patience hath beene abused. Iustice, saith Goodnesse, I have beene wronged. And how will it be then, when Mercy it selfe shall condēne that soule, and Patience shall be an accuser of it, and Goodnesse shall call for vengeance against it.

3The third ground: Thirdly, as we must consider Gods mercy that hath beene abused, and the Iustice of God that hath beene provoked: So consider the nature of your sinnes, and the haynousnesse of them: sinne is not a tricke of youth or a matter of merryment; but a breach of the Law of God, and therefore it is good for a man in this case to examine every commandement of God, and the breach thereof: Thus I would have the soule well acquainted with the Law: You know not your sinnes, therefore get you home to the Law, and looke into the glasse thereof, and then bundle up all your sinnes thus. So many sins against God himself, in the first commandement, against his worship, in the second, against his name, in the third, against his Sabbath in the fourth commandement; nay, all our thoughts, words, and actions, all of them have beene sinnes able to sinke our soules to the bottome of hell: bundle up your sinnes, & lay one upon the heart and another upon the conscience, and then it will breake your backes; those small infirmities you make nothing of, & those sinnes you make slight of, and make a tricke of youth, if you will bestow p. 106your minds a little seriously, you will see them to be farre otherwise: every sinne deserves death, The wages of sinne is death, not he onelyonly that murthers his neighbour, and takes away his life, but the malitious man, and the proud man deserves death. Nay, to come nearer the text, what if I prove you had a hand in the shedding of the blood of Christ; dwell here a little and consider it, and you shall see the point cleare. If there be any soule here present that hopes to have any part in Christ, as if I should goe from man to man and aske, have you a part in Christ? you will say, aye surely I hope so; marke what I say thē, if thou hopest for any mercy from Christ, then Christ was thy surety and bare thy sinnes, and those sinnes of thine were the witnesses against our Saviour, they were the souldiers that tooke him, the thornes that pierced him, the speare that gored him, the Crosse that tooke away his life: The truth is, the souldiers, and Pilate, & the Scribes and Pharisees, could have done nothing to our Saviour but for thy sinnes: had it not beene for thy sinnes, had it not beene for the sinnes of the elect, the souldiers could not have apprehended him, the Pharisees could not have witnessed against him, there could have been no Judge to condemne him; very well then, thy sins caused all this, thy wicked thoughts and wicked actions caused our Saviour to cry out, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me? He sunke under the consideration of thy sinnes, and thou goest away and makest a tricke of youth of them, p. 107and a matter of merryment, of loose talke, and wicked doings; well, you had a part in the crucifying of Christ. When you are gone, think of this, and as you are going home, thinke with your selves, It was my sinnes that had a part in the shedding of the blood of Christ; and when you are at meate let that come into your mind, I have had a hand in the crucifying of the Lord Jesus Christ; and when you goe to bed thinke of it, I am one of those that have embrewed their hands in the blood of the Lord Jesus, that Saviour that is now at the right hand of God, that hath done so much for his servants, that sweat drops of blood, those sweates and drops were for thy sinnes, and is this a matter of merryment and a tricke of youth in the meane time? No, no, thy soule will finde it otherwise one day, unlesse the Lord remove those sinnes of thine, those sins will make thee howle in hell fire one day, unlesse you be burthened with them here: thinke of this, I am one of those that by vaine thoughts and prophane actions have crucifyed the Lord of life; and if you can make those sinnes a matter of merriment I wonder at it.

4The fourth Ground ariseth from the consideration of the punishment of sinne, you must consider what sinne will cost you; namely, those endlesse torments that cannot be conceived nor prevented, and I will leave here to speake of the paines of the wicked, (I should have said much thereof) and come to speake only a little of the last Judgement. Me thinkes I see the Lord of p. 108heaven and earth, and the attributes of God appearing before him: the Mercy of God, the Goodnesse of God, the Wisedome of God, the Power of God, the Patience and longsuffering of God, and they come all to a sinner, a wicked hypocrite, or a carnall professor, and say, Bounty hath kept you, Patience hath borne with you, Longsufferance hath endured you, Mercy hath relieved you, the Goodnesse of the Lord hath beene great unto you; All these comfortable attributes will bid you adue, and say, farewell damned soule, you must goe hence to hell, to have fellowship with damned ghosts. Mercy shall never be enlarged towards you any more, you shal never have Patience any more to beare with you, never Goodnesse more to succour you, never compassion more to relieve you, never power more to strengthen you. Nay, you that have heretofore withdrawne your selves from Gods wisedome and gospell, you shall never have wisedome more to guide you, never Gospell more to comfort you, never Mercy more to cheare you, you shall then goe into endlesse and easelesse torments, which can never be ended, where you shall never be refreshed, never eased, never comforted; and then you shall remember your sinnes. My covetousnesse and pride was the cause of this, I may thanke my sinnes for this. Thinke of these things (I beseech you,) seriously, and see, if sinne be good now, see, if you can take any sweetnesse in it: I end all with that of Iob, O that my griefe were well weighed, and my calamity p. 109laid in the ballance: for now they would be heavier then the sand of the sea. So say I, oh that our sins were weighed, and our iniquities weighed in the ballance together, such mercy have we despised, such Justice we have provoked, such a Lord of life have we crucifyed, such torments have we deserved, endlesse, easelesse, and remedilesse: if these were weighed, they would be heavyer then the sand, and sincke our soules under the consideration of them.

But then you will say, happyly I can thinke of these things, and consider of them. The mind happyly hath conceived and fadomed these truths and brought in these occasions, and yet for all this, the mind stirres not, the heart workes not, I say therefore, when your meditation is thus raised, you must have this skill to follow home the blow, and make it worke kindly on the heart; and that is done by these three things. When your meditation is up, there is another thing which is the following of it home to the soule, and that appeareth in these three particulars.

The first is this, when we have conceived aright of sinne, and the nature thereof, and the punishment due thereunto, then doe not rest in the bare consideratiō of these things, but never leave the heart, be still musing of these things, and bring these blessed truthes home to the soule, & binde these things on the wil and affections; hold them and fasten them there, force them upon the soule, that the heart may not make an escape: take notice of it, it is a rule I would have you consider p. 110of, never leave meditating til you finde your heart so affected with the evill, as your mind & judgement conceived of the evill before; namely, let the heart feele that evill it conceived, let the soule feel that gall to be in sin which the mind apprehended to be in it: you see these sinnes loathsome and abominable, make the heart feel them, and be affected with them; the heart will fly off now, therefore it is the cunning of a Christian to lay at the heart, and pursue it continually, and hold these truthes to the soule, and at last it may be under the dint of the blow, and the power of God makes the soule feele and finde, and be apprehensive of the gall, and bitternes, and vilenes of the evill, as before it conceived it so to be; It is not enough for a man to exercise himselfe in the meditatiō of sin, but a mā must bring his soule in subjection under the power of that meditation, a man must not only chew his meat, but he must swallow it also, if he meane to have it nourish him: meditation is when the heart swalloweth downe these sinnes, that is, when he labours so to be affected with sinne, and the nature of it, as it doth require. Meditation in this case is like the beleaguring of a Citie, when a Citie is wisely & strongly beleagured, and beset roūd about, they doe two things: first, they batter it from without as much as they can; and secondly; they cut off all provision and reliefe from comming in, and so the city being partly battered from without, as much as they can, and being hindred from all reliefe comming in, in conclusion when they p. 111see the enemie is strong, and no provision can come to them, they are contēt to yeeld the City, and render up themselves; and if they send a parly to him that doth besiege it, and say, they are ready to perish, why, he bids them deliver then, and they shall be provided for, he bids them yeeld, and they shall be succoured, and before that day, there is no supply shall be brought into the City: So it is with meditation, and here is the cunning of a Christian. Do as wise Souldiers doe, cut off all provision, that is, by serious meditation bring thy heart to such a loathing of sinne, that it may never love it more, besiege the heart with daily meditation, that so you may cut off any ease and refreshing that the heart may seeme to have in any sinfull course; if the soule be looking after any sinne, if the soule would goe out a litle to occasions, and take delight in his corruptions, the drunkard in his company, and the wordly man in his wealth, then batter that: When you are thus affected, beleaguer the way, that you may finde no comfort; no ease, and when the soule is looking after occasions, and lingering after his abominations, then say to your hearts, you will have your sins though you have your shame with them, you will have your corruptions, though you have your confusion with them: when the soule would meddle with these, let meditation knocke off these. If you be still proud, and malitious, and quarrelling, take heed; you cannot have these, but you must have hell and all; you cannot have these, but you must have p. 112destruction and all: the mercy of God will be not abused; and the justice of God will not be provoked, and God will be revenged of you, and at last the heart by this meanes will be troubled: Why, deliver up your sins then, and your soules, if your hearts find any sorrow and anguish; why, then yeeld up your souls unto Christ, that you may finde as much comfort in a good way, as you have done misery in an evill way. Thus by meditation make the heart see those evills; nay, thus by meditation make thy heart see those evills, and the punishment that shall be executed for those evills.

Secondly, when you have made the heart thus affected with sinne, then take heed that the heart doth not flie off and shake off the yoke. Imagine meditation brings all those sins, and miseries, and vilenesse, all are brought home to the heart, and the soule is made sensible by this meanes: Hold the heart there then, labour to keepe the heart in the same temper, that it is brought into, by the consideration of sinne, for this is our nature, when the strooke is troublesome that lieth upon us, and the sinnes are hainous that lie upon us, and are committed by us, these sinnes, these sorrowes, these judgements, when the heart feeles this, it is weary, and would secretly have the wound healed quickly, and the sorrow removed, and the trouble calmed: Take heede of this, and labour to maintaine that heat of heart, which you finde in your selves by vertue of meditation, this is the pitch of the point: as there must bee p. 113subjection unto meditation, the heart must be so affected with sinne, as it conceived it to be, so there must be attention; that is, the soule must hold it selfe to that frame and disposition so wrought as it should be. Looke as it is with a Gold smith that melteth the metall that he is to make a vessell of, if after the melting thereof, there follow a cooling, it had beene as good it had never beene melted, it is as hard, haply harder, as unfit, haply unfitter, then it was before to make vessell of; but after he hath melted it, he must keep it in that frame till he come to the moulding and fashoning of it: So meditation is like fire, the heart is like a vessell, the heart is made for God, and it may be made a vessell of grace here, and of glory hereafter: Now meditation, it is that melts the soule, the drosse must be taken away from the soule, and sinne must bee loosened from the heart: Now meditation doth this, it melts the soule, and affects the soule with the weight of sinne: now when you have your heart in some measure melted, keepe it there, doe not let it grow loose againe, and carelesse againe; for then you had as good never have beene melted: And that is the reason why many a poore sinner that hath sometime beene in a good way, and the Lord hath come kindly and wrought powerfully on the heart, and yet at last it hath grown cold & dumpish, & as hard as ever he was againe, and the worke is to beginne againe. And take notice of it; looke as it is with the cure of the body, if a man have an old wound, and a p. 114deepe one; two things are observable; it is not enough to launce the wound, and draw out the corruptions, but it must be tented also, for if the wound be deepe, it must not be healed presently, but it must be kept open with a tent, that it may be healed soundly, and thoroughly: so it is here; meditatiō whē it is set on, doth launce the soule, it launceth the heart of a man, and it will goe downe to the bottome of the belly: When a man seeth his sinne, and weigheth his sinne it will goe downe to the bottom sometime, and when your heart is thus affected, do not heale it too soone, but hold the soule in that blessed frame & disposition: For as meditatiō doth launce the soule, so attention doth tent the soule; keepe the soule therfore so troublesome and sorrowfull that so you may be healed soundly, thorowly, and comfortably.

I use to finde this by experience, a City that is be leaguerd and wonne, he that hath won it, sets a Garison over it, that he may keepe it for ever under: So when the soule hath beene wonne by the stroke of meditation affecting the heart with sinne, then set a garison over the soule, and keepe it in awe, set a garison over the Conscience and keepe all downe, keepe all under, that it may submit it selfe, and that kindly under the stroke of the truth, for it were a blessed frame, if we could alwayes be so in that temper that we are in when we are first humbled for our sinnes.

The third rule, which is marvelous usefull is this: when the soule hath beene affected with p. 115sinne by meditation, and kept to sinne by attention, then know how you must stint your soules; know therefore that the soule must be so farre kept to the consideration of sinne, that it may seeke out for pardon for sinne. This is a point of marvelous use, and you must give the leave to be inlarged; because there are many deceits this way, in the spirits of a man: for marke it, this is the cunning of the Devill, if it be possible, he will keepe a man that he shall never see, muse, nor be troubled for sinne; and therefore he doth plucke him off, and sends him to company on one side, and merriment on the other side, that by this meanes, he may keepe him from serious meditation of the evill: But if it be so that God wil make a man meditate of his sinnes, and that the heart of a sinner is fully resolved to muse, and ponder, and consider of his corruptions; If he will pore upon his sinnes, then he shall see nothing else but sinne: and thus the Devill hath hindred many a poore soule from comming unto Christ, and frō receiving comfort of him; he shall now be alwayes poring upon his corruptions, and therefore here lies the skill of a Christian, not to neglect meditation, and therefore here is the stint of meditation of our sinnes, you shall thus discover it: So farre see thy sinnes, so farre be affected with them, so farre hold thy minde to them, that they may make thee see an absolute necessity of a Christ, and that these sinnes may drive thee to the Lord Iesus Christ for succour: here is the maine thing observable, and thus farre we may p. 116goe, and must goe, if ever God intend to doe good to our soules: and therefore when thou settest thy soule, and bestowest thy selfe to muse and meditate upon thy corruptions, and lay them to thy heart; when thou findest thy soule to bee affected with them, and humbled under them, labour then to see an absolute necessity of a Lord Iesus Christ, and so farre see them, that they may drive thee, & compell thee to seeke unto Christ for mercy: and this is all God lookes for, all the Lord requires and cares for in this preparation or preparative worke: And therefore take notice of it, see thy sinnes so farre as they may make thee meerely looke for a Christ, and to fall upon the armes of Gods mercy in and through Christ. For it is not sorrow for sinne, nor humiliation, nor faith it selfe, that can justifie us in it selfe, but onelyonly these must make way for us to a Christ, and through him we must receive comfort: for these two be the speciall extreames, that the Devill seekes to drive a man into: If a man presume of a mans owne sufficiency, then he thinkes he is well, and he will not goe to Christ, because he thinkes, he doth not stand in need of Christ; and if he despaire of his owne abilitie, he will not goe to Christ neither, and here is the ground why a sinner despaires, it is not by reason of any sinne, excepting onelyonly the sinne against the holy Ghost, despaire is not grounded there, for Cain despaired, yet Manasses committed greater sinnes then Cain and despaired not; but the soule despaires out of stoutnesse of heart, p. 117because it hath not sufficiencie in it selfe, it will not looke out for helpe and comfort from another: presumption saith, I have sufficiencie in my selfe, and need not goe unto Christ; and despaire saith, I have not sufficiencie, and therefore will not goe to Christ: here is the property of despaire, to cast away hope, when a man hath no hope that God will helpe him, now all the while the soule lookes for sufficiencie from Christ, there is hope; for though our sinnes bee never so hainous; thats nothing, all the question is, whether we can hope in Christ; For if all the sinnes that ever were, are, or shall be committed, ranne into one man, as all Rivers runne into one Sea, Christ could as easily pardon his sinnes, as ever he pardoned the sinnes of any Saints in heaven: but here is the ground, when we looke into our selves, we can see there is no sufficiencie to comfort us, and we will not goe to Christ, that we may be comforted, and so we come to be voide of hope, and to despaire: a despairing heart, is a proud stubborne heart; because he cannot have what he would of his owne, therefore he will not goe to another to receive it, and so sinkes downe in his sinnes. And therefore let this be the period and stint of meditation, when the soule so farre seeth sinne and the punishment deserved by it, that the hart is resolved that none but Christ can take away these sinnes and the punishments due to them, and is resolved to seeke to Christ, and be beholden to him for all; when it is thus with you, then away to the Lord Jesus p. 118Christ, and let this meditation of a mans corruptions be as a Bridge to carry him to Christ, that so he may have salvation which is promised through him, and shall be bestowed upon all broken harted sinners: and marke what I say, that soule that will not seeke out to Christ, and will not be beholding to Christ for what he need…, that soule wants brokennesse of heart: What ever he be that will not seeke out to Christ, and goe out of himselfe to another, wants brokennes, and this stubbornnesse of his, that he will not goe to Christ, ariseth from some of these three grounds.

First, the soule will not goe out, it is because the heart thinkes and presumes it hath no neede of Christ, and therefore will not goe, but we will not medle with that: for that is proper to carnall men.

Secondly, if the soule will not seeke out to Christ for helpe and comfort, it is because the heart is not content in good earnest to be ruled by Christ, that Christ should come and take possession of the soule, and doe all; therefore if the heart cling to corruption, it is content that Christ should ease it, but not that Christ should sanctifie it, and remove that corruption that hath prevailed over it; and therefore when a man is under the sight of sinne, he would faine have God shew mercy unto him, and yet he will not pray, nor read, nor use the meanes but dwels upon the meditation of his sinnes, and neglects many ordinances of God, whereby it may receive p. 119comfort: this man would have a Christ to quiet him, but not to rule him, and take possession of him, and this is the reason why, in these cases the soule is never commonly kindly striken, these would faine have quiet and comfort; …d yet they will not be driven to holy duties, nor be content that Christ should rule in them, they are content to commit the sinne, but they would have pardon for it.

The third ground is this, and the cunningest of all, and that is this; provided the soule be content to be ruled by the Lord Jesus, and to submit unto him, yet here is another deceit of the soule of a poore sinner, that would joyne something with Christ, for the helping of him in that great worke of salvation, and this I take to be the complaint of sinners, and sometime broken hearted ones too; they dare not goe to expect mercy from the Lord Jesus. Why? why? because they are unworthy, so abominable their lives, so wretched their courses, that they dare not goe to Christ, that he may shew mercy to them. I reason the point thus; is it because of your unworthinesse that you dare not goe to Christ? so then, if you had worthinesse, this would incourage you for to goe: Why then, you thinke Christ is not able alone to helpe you, but you would have your worthinesse helpe Christ to save you, and so you would joyne with the Lord Jesus in this great price of Salvation and Redemption: If your sinnes were but small, and you had some worthinesse, that so Christ might p. 120doe something, and your worthinesse doe something, and so you might make up the price betweene you, then you could be content to goe to Christ, but otherwise you thinke you may not goe to Christ, without some worthinesse of your owne; Againe, why then (belike) you … be beholden to Christ for so much mercy, and so much grace, and so much forgivenesse: one of these two must needs be the ground of this complaint, either we would have our own worthines joyne something with Christ, or else we are so vile that we will not be beholden to Christ for so much mercy; but this unworthinesse indeed is nothing else but pride, a man will not be beholden to Christ for so much mercy, but he will share with Christ in the matter of salvation, or else he will not be pertaker of the great worke of redemption.

Imagine a debtor were in prison, and a friend sends to him, what ever the debt be, if he will but come to him, he will pay all; the man returnes this answer. If he had not such a great debt to pay, he would be content to come to him, but the truth is, the debt is so great that he will not come to him, nor trouble him: now one of these two must needs follow, either he thinkes his friend is not able, or willing to pay his debt, or else in truth he will not be beholden to him for so much, but if the debt were a little one, then he would make a shift to pay some, and his friend some, and so they would make up the debt between them: So it is in this case, this is that which p. 121keeps the heart from laying hold on the promise: they thinke they are unworthy to pertake thereof, which is nothing but pride of spirit: for either they would bring something, and share with Christ in the worke of redemption, or else they will not be beholden to Christ for so much mercy.

There is another shift which keepes the heart from going to Christ; O faith one, I never had my heart so broken & affected as such a one hath; and therefore they dare not goe to Christ, because they have not so much contrition, their hearts so much broken as others have, therefore they dare not goe: Ay, but be your soules content to goe to Christ and yeeld to him; would you keepe any corruption? is there any sinne which you would not have Christ come and remove? The soule answereth, that they would be content to resigne all to the Lord Jesus Christ, but they are not so humbled as others are: I say the ground of this complaint is nothing else but selfe-confidence in broken heartednesse, for the soule is not content to have so much broken heartednesse as is sufficient to bring a man to Christ, but it would have so much as that it might bring a man to Christ to helpe him in the worke of redemption; they thinke i… is not enough to have the soule so hūbled as to submit to the Lord Jesus Christ, but they would have so much as they would joyn with Christ in this great worke: which is nothing else, but carnall confidence. Therefore the conclusion is this: So farre see thy sinnes, so farre p. 122meditate upon thy sinnes, and so farre labour to have thy heart affected with thy sinnes, and so far attend unto them, that three things may follow.

First, that you may see an absolute necessity of Christ, and that thou maist use all meanes to seeke unto him, and never be quiet whilst thou findest him; Nay, while thou dost use the meanes but only upon the Lord Jesus; pray, and rest not in prayer, but in a Saviour that is obtained by prayer, heare, but rest not in hearing, but convay to thy selfe what is revealed in hearing, receive the Sacraments, but rest not in them, but therein seeke a Saviour which is there signed: this is the very stint and pitch of meditation: thus farre see and affect and drawe your hearts to the consideration of your sinnes, that the soule may be forced to goe to Christ, and use all meanes to find him, pray for a Christ, heare for a Christ, use all meanes, and see a need of a Christ, to blesse thee in all thy services, and see a need of a Christ to pardon thy sinnes, and then you take a right course; And thus much for the second passage; now we see how to follow meditation home, that the soule may be affected therewith, and holden thereto.

Ay, but you will say, our thoughts are dull, and our meditation fraile, and our wants heavy, and little good we get by this meditation, we fall to sinne againe; how shall we come to get the life of meditation, that it may be to us as it ought to be?

I answer, the meanes to make meditation p. 123powerfull are two, I confesse after a man hath mused and pondered, it is possible that a corrupt heart may recoile and fall backe againe, therefore there are two helpes to put more life into meditation.

First, labour to call in the helpe and assistance of conscience, that meditation may be more fruitfull and powerfull; conscience is a great commander, it is Gods vicegerent and chiefe officer, and God is the general overseer of all the affaires of the world, but conscience hath authority to execute Judgement according to the sentence God hath revealed, and hath a greater command with the heart, then bare meditation hath; understanding and reason are but the underlings of the wil, & they are but servāts & subjects to the wil, and these only suggest and advise unto the will what is good, as a servant may suggest to his master what is good, and yet his master may take what he list, & refuse what he please in this kind. But conscience hath a greater command, Rom. 2.15. conscience is said to accuse or excuse a man, and conscience comes with a law and a command as the Apostle saith, 1. Iohn 3.20. If our hearts condemne us; conscience makes the heart to yeeld. I comp…e it thus: look as it is happily with a man that is in debt, if a man have a writ out for him, he is not troubled greatly with that, he will not goe to prison because of that, nay, though he shew it him, yet he will not goe, but if he brings the Sergean… …o arrest him, then he must go, and and then he must be imprisoned whether he will p. 124or noe: So it is here, meditation brings in the writ, and sheweth a man his sinnes, layeth open all his duties neglected, so many hundred duties omitted, so many thousand sinnes committed, so many prophanatiōs of Sabbaths, so many oathes, so many blasphemies; but the soule saith, What is this to me? I have sinned, and others have sinned, and I shall doe as well as others; but conscience is a Sergeant, and Sergeants do your office; these are your sinnes; and as you will answer it at the day of Judgement, take heed of those sins upon paine of everlasting ruine. When conscience begins thus to arrest a man, then the heart comes and gives way to the truth revealed, and conscience thus settles it upon the heart.

The Second meanes whereby meditation may get power upon the soule, is this, we must cry & crave, and call for the spirit of humiliation and contrition, that God by that blessed spirit of his which in Scripture is called the spirit of bondage would set to his helping hand & assist conscience his officer, & take the matter into his owne hand, and because there are many rebellious corruptions that oppose Gods truth, we must call to heaven for helpe, that God would seise upon the heart, and breake it: A perverse heart will linde the Judgement, and say, I will have my sinnes, though I be damned for them, and when conscience comes, and saith, I will beare witnes against you for your pride, and covetousnesse, and prophanesse. They resist conscience: Looke as it is if a Sergeant arrest a man, he may escape his hands, p. 125or kill the Sergeant, but if the Sheriffe or the King himself come, & take the prisoner in hand, then he must goe to prison whether he will or no; so it is here, though a corrupt heart can stoppe conscience, stay conscience, yet there is a commanding power of Gods spirit; the spirit of humiliation: And when God comes from heaven to aide his officer, the heart must stoope, and be governed. Looke as it is with a child that is under government, his father perhaps bids the servant correct him, now it is admirable to see how the child will taunt with the servant, and struggle with him mightily, now when the father heareth this, he saith, Give me the rod, and he tells the child, you would not be whipped, but I will scourge you, and he will set it home, and plague him so much the more; because he resisted the servant: So it is here, the Lord hath revealed his will and sent his ministers to discover your sins, and verrifie your hearts, it is strange to see what resistance we finde; one scornes to heare, and rebells against the minister. Well, however the voice of the minister, or the word, cannot make the blow fall heavy enough for the time, yet if the Lord take the rod into his owne hand, he will make the stoutest stomack stoope, and the hardest heart come in: when the father takes the rod into his hand, and lets in hell fire, he will set it home, take it off who will or can; the Apostle cals it the spirit of bondage: and observe the place,Rom. 8.15.Rom 8:15 When the spirit of bondage commeth then commeth feare: The spirit of bondage is said p. 126to be the spirit of feare, as who should say, the Lord sheweth a man his bondage by the Almighty power of his Spirit, and will make the soule feele it and stoope unto it.Iob. 36.….10Job 36 In Iob the Lord doth shew unto men their workes, and then he commands them to returne, he openeth their eare to discipline (saith the text) and commandeth that they returne from iniquity, he openeth the eye, and maketh a man see his sinnes, and then he commands the heart to returne whether it will or no. When the Lord doth shew unto man his sinnes, and holds him to his sinnes, that he cannot looke off them, this is the worke of the spirit of bondage: when conscience hath done his duty, and yet his mouth is stopped, then the Lord himselfe comes; and however the word by the mouth of the ministery could not prevaile, yet God will set the sun-light of his spirit to your soules, and then you shall see your sinnes, and stoope under them. When a man would cut off the sense of sinne, yet where ever he is, and what ever he doth, the Lord presents his sins to him, when he goeth in the way, he reades his sinnes in the pathes, when he is at meate his sinnes are before him, when he goeth to lie downe, he goeth to read his sinnes on the teaster of his bed, this is thy covetousnesse, and thy pride, and for these thou shalt be plagued. Looke upon these sinnes, they are thine owne, & thou hast deserved punishments to be inflicted upon thee for them: thus we see the groūds how meditation must be raised: We see how we may bring meditation home to the heart, we see how p. 127also we may get the life & power of meditation.

I thought to have propounded an example that you may see the practice of the truth delivered: as imagine it were the sinne of the opposing of the word, I would breake my soule withall; first, by meditation cast the compasse of this sin, looke into the word, & see whatsoever the word hath revealed of this sinne: The text saith, by this meanes the anger of the Lord is marvelously provoked, in so much that he will laugh at the destruction of such. Prov. 1.26Prov 1:26Nay, by this meanes Christ himselfe is despised, nay, our condemnation is hereby sealed irrecoverably. 2. Chron. 36.16. the text saith, They despised Gods word, till the wrath of the Lord arose, and there was no remedy: Nay, hereby we aggravate our condēnation. For Christ saith, Mat. 11.22. Woe be to thee Bethsayda: Woe be to thee Chorazin, for if the mightie workes which have beene done in thee, had beene done in Tyre and Sidon, they would have repented in dust and ashes: But it shall be easier for Tyre and Sidon in the day of judgement, then for thee: Nay, the Author to the Hebrewes saith, 2.3. How shall we escape if we neglect so great salvation? The case of such a man is desperate: how shall we escape? Thus you see the reach how farre this sinne goeth, gather up all then, and tell your hearts of this, when they rebell and oppose the word of God; How dare I doe this? what, provoke God so farre as to laugh at my destruction? what, despise Christ and his Spirit, nay, make my case irrecoverable, and aggravate to my condemnation? but if the p. 128heart will not stoope under this, then call for conscience; conscience to your charge, and then conscience comes, and chargeth the soule on paine of everlasting condemnation to heare and to be humbled; And if this will not doe, intreat the Lord to take the rod into his owne hand, and bring these truths home unto the soule, that it may never be quieted till it be humbled: this is the course I would have you take, to bring the truth home to your soules. When the minister hath done his sermon, then your worke beginnes, you must heare all the weeke long: he that never meditates of his sinnes, is never like to be broken hearted for his sinnes: take notice of this, The text saith of these converts, They were pricked in their hearts.

This clause of the verse discovers unto us that, which brings in this shiverednesse and contrition of spirit which the Lord cals for at the hands of his servants; Now give me leave to make way for my selfe, by opening of the words, that having taken away all the vaile from them, you may more clearely see the truth delivered.

First, let me shew you what this piercing or pricking of the heart is.

Secondly, what is meant by heart. You must know, that sound sorrow, or sorrow soundly set on, is here meant by pricking, and this word pricking resembles sorrow in three degrees: For the word in the originall imports not only a bare pricking, but a searching quite through; and we have no word in our English tongue to answere the p. 129same word, but onelyonly a shiverednesse of soule all to pieces. I say there are three things wherein pricking resembles sorrow. First, the body cannot be pricked, but there must be some paine, some griefe, some trouble wrought by it, and accompanying of it. Secondly, it is the separation of one part from another, as the naturall Philosophers couceive, and as the Physitian gives us to understand, it is the sundering of two parts. Thirdly, the parts being thus pricked, there is the letting of it out, and if any blood or water be in that part thus pricked, so answerably in this sound sorrow in heart, there are three things; I meane in that sorrow which is set home by the Almighty: First, there is a great griefe and vexation of soule: Secondly, by reason of the burthen that lieth upon the heart, that cursed knot, and union, and combination betweene sinne and the soule comes in some measure to be severed and parted; the soule being thus grieved with the sinne, is content to be severed from it: this is the thing we aime at. Thirdly, this knot of corruption being loosened, and this closure being broken, and the souldring betweene sinne and the soule being removed, there is now a passage for the letting out of all these corruptions, that the heart may be taken from under the power of sinne and be subject to the power and guidance of God: This is the true nature of sorrow. And by the way, consider this, unlesse the Lord should thus wound and vexe the soule, the heart that prizeth corruption as a God (as every p. 130naturall man doth) would never be severed from it; did the soule see onelyonly the delight in sinne, it would never part from it; and therefore God is forced to make us feele this, that we may be severed from our sinnes, and be subject to him in all obedience.

Secondly, what is meant by heart; not to tyre you with any matter of signification, this word implieth two things specially, which concerns our purpose, both may be implied and intended, but the first is mainely implied and intented, it is not the naturall part of a man which is in the middest of the body, that is, a fleshly heart; but it is the will it selfe, and that abilitie of …oule, whereby the heart saith, I will have this, and I will not have that. As the understanding is setled in the head, and keepes his sentinell there, so the will is seated in the heart, when it comes to taking or refusing, this is the office of the will, and …t discovers his act there; As our Saviour saith;Mat. …. 1… Where your treasure is, there will your hearts be also. And (as the Apostle saith) a man confesseth with his mouth and beleeveth with his heart: So then they were not onelyonly pricked as with a pinne, but this sorrow seiseth upon the soule, and pierceth unto the very will, it was not outward overly sorrow, but that which went to the very root, and entred into the very heart.

…From these words thus opened, the Doctrine I might have handled from this point is, that sins unpardoned are of a piercing, nature, they were not onelyonly pricked, because they heard the words, p. 131but their sins peirced them: but I will not meddle with this point, though otherwise is were very usefull.

The use is, this might take off the Imagination of those that thinke there … no delight, but in sinfull courses, they are much deceived: There is no gall but in sinne, and there is no sorrow but from sinne, and sinne onelyonly imputed made our Saviour to buckle under it, Psalme 22. Davids heart was crushed with it, Psalm. 40. Nay, the Apostle saith,Ro…. 8 1… All the creatures groaned under it, the earth groanes under sinners, and is willing to vomit them up, it is a burden to the Sunne to give light to the adulterer to see his harlot, and it is a burden to the ayre to give breathing to a blasphemer that belcheth out his oaths against the God of heaven, nay, it is that which sinkes the damned into the bottomlesse pit, it is such as Iudas had rather hang himselfe then indure the horror of Conscience for it: let this therefore dash the foolish conceit of them which thinke there is no pastime but in sinne; however men glory in sinne, and take delight in sucking the pleasure of sinne, yet the end will be bitternesse. Their sweet meat will have a sower sauce, and those sinnes which are so sweet, will eate out all comfort frō their soules, from everlasting to everlasting. They were pricked in their hearts.

So that the maine point which fits our aime is this sound sorrow, piercing of the soule of those that are affected with it, they were not onelyonly pricked in their eyes to weepe for their sinnes, p. 132and to say they would doe so no more: The adulterer is not only pricked in his eye, that he would see his adulterous queane, no he goeth further & sinketh into the very soule, and pierceth through the very heart; It is with sorrow that hath any substance in it, as it was with the repentance of Ninivie, not onelyonly the ordinarie and refuse sort of people forsooke their sinnes, but even the King himselfe came from his throne and sat in dust and ashes, yea, the Nobles & other subjects, and the very beasts of the field did …ast: So it is comparatively with this sorrow, it is not onelyonly for the tongue to talke of sinnes, and the eye to weepe for his sinnes; but even the Queene of the soule, which is the wil it selfe, puts on sacke-cloth, and the heart and all the affections, as so many subjects follow after: It breakes out into the eye, and the frame of the heart shakes with it, and the knees knocke together, and the hands grow feeble; it is not; O Lord be mercifull unto us, and so be gone: But it must goe to your hearts; and you may weepe out your eyes, and cry your sins at the market crosse, but have you put off the will and affection of sinning as well as the tongue of sinning? the nature of this sorrow is marvelous strange,Psalm. 51.…8.Ps 51:8 consider it. David saith, Make me to beare of joy and gladnesse, that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoyce: This sorrow that did seise upon David, was not slight, but it breakes all the bones which are the maine pillars and props of nature, the burthen was so heavie and so great, that it made all the burthen that was in him to p. 135shake.Psalm. 14.20.Ps 14:20 And in another Psalm. My moisture is turned into the drought of Summer: This sorrow went so deepe into his soule, that it did not only take away his outward refreshing, but it tooke away all the moist humors, the inward juyce, the very oyle of life. It is admirable which the Prophet Hosea saith Hosea 13.8. I will meet them as a beare bereaved of her whelps, and will rend the kall of their hearts. You must not thinke to have a whip and away, but the Lord will breake the very kall of those proud hearts of yours, rather then hee will suffer sinne to dwell in you where his throne should be: And hence it is, that this sorrow sinke many. Did you never see a soule in distresse of Conscience, he is all turned to dust and ashes; this sorrow goeth to the quicke, it is not a little touch and away, but it breaketh the heart inwardly.

For the opening of this point, let me discover these particulars: First, how the Lord workes this sorrow, and how it is brought into the soule. Secondly, I will shew you the behaviour of the soule when it is thus peirced, and this will shew the soundnesse. Thirdly, I will shew some reason why it must be so. Fourthly, I will answer some questions. Fiftly, make some uses, and therein lay downe some ends how we may helpe forward this worke when it is begunne.

For the first, I know God deales sometimes openly, and sometimes more secretly: But for the first, how this pricking comes into the soule, and how the Lord stabbs the soule, and makes at p. 132duplicate page p. 135duplicate page p. 132duplicate page p. 135duplicate page p. 136a man to thrust him through. This discovers it selfe in three particulars. First, the Lord commonly and usually lets in a kinde of amazement into the mind of a sinner, and a kind of gastering: As it is with a sudden blow upon the head, if it comes with some violence, it dazells a man, that he knowes not where he is; Just so it is generally with the soule, the Lord lets in some flashes of his truth, and darts in some evidences of his truth into the heart of a man, the hammer of Gods Law layeth a sudden blow upon the heart, and this discovers the vile nature of sinne; as when a drunkard is drunke to day, and will be so to morrow, and the minister preacheth against that sinne, and yet he will be drunke still, and the blasphemer saith, come lets sweare the minister out of the pulpit, now it may be the Lord lets in some suddaine truth, that unmaskes the soule, and drives him to sudden amaze, that now he sees his corruptions to be otherwise then ever he did; commonly he doth not yet see the evill of sinne, but he is driven to a stand and a pawse, and he doth not know what to say of himselfe, nor what to thinke of his sinne, there is a kinde of tumult in his thoughts, and a confused cumber, he knowes not what to make of himselfe, and he goeth away in a kind of confused distemper: Thus it was with Paul when he was running a long to Damascus; and had gotten a lustie Steed to make hast, suddenly there did shine a light from heaven, and he heard a voice from heaven saying unto him, Saul, Saul, why persecutest thou p. 137me? He marvelled at the matter, and yet he did not know what the matter was, and therefore he saith, Who art thou Lord? What wouldest thou have me do…?

As it was with Saul, so it is most commonly with us all, it may be a poore man drops into the Church, and the Lord lets in a light, and the Lord doth compas him about with some threatnings of the Law, and shewes him the nature of sinne, and the damnation that comes by it, and thereupon his thoughts beginne to hurry in one upon another, and he retyres home, and thinks thus with himselfe, surely the preacher spake strange things to day, if all be true that he spake, then certainly my conditiō is naught, surely there is more in sinne then ever I thought of; I did alwaies thinke that such sinnes as were grosse and punishable by the Law of man, were abominable, and God was incensed against them, but what? will every wicked thought sinke the soule into hell unlesse God pardon it? and is God so just, and so severe, and will he punish all sinners? and must I answere for all my petty oathes? If I shall be condemned for my words, and thoughts, it is a strange thing: well, I will inquire further of the matter, it is marvelous hard if it be true. Many a man hath beene thus, and goeth no further for the present.

Well then, Secondly, he resolves to heare the minister againe, and he fals to reading and conferring with others, to try if it be so as the minister before revealed unto him, and commonly p. 138he goeth to heare the same minister againe, and by this meanes what with hearing and reading & conferring, he seeth the thing he doubted of is too certaine, and that the thing be questioned before is without all doubt: the Law is just, the word is plaine, if God be true, this is true, The wages of sinne is death; Yea of every sinful thought: and, He that beleeveth not, is condemned already: so that now the sinner beginnes to consider that the condemnation threatned sleepes not, and that God hath him in chase, and that punishment that God threatens shall be executed upon him sooner or latter: thus the soule from a generall amazement, comes to see that it is so, and by this meanes he is surprised with a sudden feare of spirit in expectation and suspition of what is discovered, left God should lay it upon him, in so much that the soule saith, What if God should damne me, God may doe it: and what if God should execute his vengeance upon me, the soule feareth that the evill discovered will fall upon him, the nature of his feare is this, he knoweth there is cause of feare, and he cannot beare the evill when it is come. He saith, I am a sinfull wretch, and God may damne me for ought I know, and what if God should damne me: this is the reason of those phrases of Scripture, Wee have not received the spirit of bondage to feare againe, Rom. … ▪ 1….the spirit that shewes our bondage, and thence comes this feare.

Hence it is that the Apostle saith to Timothy, God hath not given us the spirit of feare: 1. Tim ….…7.That is, p. 139the spirit of bondage that workes feare; & therefore the Lord saith by Moses, Thy life shall hang in doubt before thee, and thou shalt feare day and night, thou shalt have no assurance of thy life. It is with a soule in this feare, as it was with Belshazzar when he commanded the cups to be brought out of the house of the Lord, that he, and his nobles, and his concubines might quaffe in them, & brave against the God of Israel: then came a hand writing against him on the wall, and when he saw it, his thoughts troubled him and his face beganne to gather palenesse, and his knees knocked one against another, as if he should say, surely there is some strange evill appointed for me, and with that, his heart began to tremble and shake; Just so it is with this feare, he that runnes ryot in the way of wickednesse, aud thinkes to despise Gods Spirit, & to hate the Lord Almighty, and to resist the work of his grace and saith within himselfe, Let us goe & heare the minister, that we may cavill at him, and persecute him.

Now it may be there comes this feare and hand-writing against him; and who knowes but that it may be thus with thee, whosoever thou art: for this is a note of the child of the devill, to hate Gods servants, and ministers. Now when a wicked man heares this, he saith, the word of God was profestly spoken against him, and these are my sinnes, and these are the Judgements and plagues threatned against them, and therefore why may not I be damned? and why may I not be plagued? and thus his heart is full of feare, & p. 140he begins to reason with himselfe; what, is this the nature of sinne? and are these the Judgmēts of God denounced against sinfull creatures? why then, what if God should lay these Judgemēts upon my soule? and who knoweth but God will doe so to me this day; plucke me out of the land of the living? I am sure my sinnes are such, and Gods Judgements are such threatned against them, and therefore why may not this be? and when he goeth to bed he reasoneth thus; what if I never rise more? and when he goeth from home, what if I never returne more? and God may take me with my meate in my mouth, and cast me downe into hell fire for ever. The soule being in this estate, and the heart being thus pestered and plagued with the feare of Gods wrath that followeth a man like a Jailor, he is hindred still that he cannot sinne so freely, but still the wrath of God pursueth him, and saith, Do you not feare that God may take you away in the act of sinning, and in the middest of your chambring and wantonnesse? The heart being thus pestered with this feare, it is not able to endure it, he labours to drive away this trouble and dread from his mind, and still he thinkes God is against him, and he heares some behind him saying, Thou must come to Judgement and be plagued: Now the soule labours to drinke away and play away this Sorrow. Another man haply that was a prodigall before, riseth now early and will be exceedingly busied about his occasiōs all the day long, that these things may take up his mind; & p. 141the reason is, there lyeth something at the heart and he cannot tell which way to drive away his feare, but he labours all in vaine: For this is to make up walls with untempered morter which will presently fall downe; it is as much as a man should labour to ease himself of sinne by sinning, to give a man cold drinke in a hot burning feaver.

Thirdly, in the third place the Lord pursueth the soule, and when the heart cannot be rid of this feare, the Lord beginnes to let fly against the soule of a sinner, and discharges that evill upon him which was formerly feared, and affliction enters into the heart. The nature of feare is to feare an evill to come: now the Lord makes the soule to see that it is not only great drunkards & adulterers that are threatned, but every sinfull thought and idle word.

The soule would faine have driven away this feare, but the Lord will not let him, but saith, these curses shall kindle upon thee, and shall continue for ever to thy perdition. And hence comes this sorrow, the Lord lets in some veine of his vengeance, and some secret displeasure of his, and makes sinne to stabbe the soule, and then the curse lyeth upon him, and the Lord as it were kindles the fire of his wrath upon him really, and makes him see this is that which he feared. Now his conscience is all on a flame within him, and he saith to himselfe, Thou hast sinned and offended a just God, and therefore thou must be damned and to hell thou must goe: This is the particular p. 142seising of the curse upon a sinfull soule; for this is the nature of true sorrow, if evill be to come we feare it, if evill be upon us we grieue and sorrow for it, herein is the greatest worke of all, & the Lord deales diversly as he seeth fit; specially these three wayes.

First, if God have a purpose to civilize a man, he will lay his sorrow as a fetter upon him; he only meanes to civilize him, and knocke off his fingers from base courses, as wee have knowne some in our daies; many desperate persecutors of Gods people, God casts his sorrow into their hearts, and then they say, they will persecute Gods people no more, haply they are naught still, but God confines them first: God only rippes the skinne a little, and layeth some small blow upon him: but if a man have been rude and a great ryoter, the Lord begins to serve a writ upon him, and saith, Thou art the man, to thee be it spoken, thy sins are weighed, and thou art found too light, heaven and salvation is departed from thee, thy sorrow is begunne here, never to have end hereafter, but thou must continue in endlesse torments: thou hast continued in sinne, and therefore expect the fierce anger of the Lord to be upon thee for ever; so that now the soule seeth the flashes of hell and Gods wrath upon the soule, and the terrours of hell lay hold upon the heart, and he confesseth he is so, and he hath done so: And therfore he is a poore damned creature, and then the soule labours to welter it, and it may be his conscience will be deluded by p. 143some carnall minister that makes the way broader then it is, and bids him goe and drinke, and play, and worke away his sorrow: or else it may be, he stops the mouth of conscience with some outward performances: it may be his conscience saith, Thou hast committed these & these sinnes, and thou wilt be damned for them; And then he entreats conscience to be quiet & hold his peace, and he will pray in his family, and heare sermons, and take up some good courses; and thus he takes up a quiet civill course, and stayeth here a while, & at last comes to nothing: And thus God leaves him in the lurch, if he meanes only to civilize him.

But Secondly, if God intends to doe good to a man, he will not let him goe thus, and fall to a civill course: When a man begins to colour over his old sinnes, and God hath broken his teeth, that he cannot worry as formerly: but yet there is no power in him: If the Lord love that soule, he will much the more clearely reveale his sinnes unto him: God will plucke away all his chambering and wantonnesse, all his pride and peevishnesse, and pull off his vizzard, and shew him all his sinnes, and pursue him; therefore as before God entred the blow, so now he followes it home. And hence it is that Iob saith, The arrowes of the Almighty sticke fast in me, and the venome thereof drinkes up my spirits, and the terrours of the Almighty encampe themselves against me every way. And as David saith, Thou keepest my eyes waking, and my sinnes are ever before me. If God p. 144duplicate page p. 145duplicate page p. 140duplicate page p. 141duplicate page p. 142duplicate page p. 143duplicate page p. 144love a sinner, and meane to doe good to him, he will not let him looke off his sinne, the Lord wil ferret him from his denne, and from his base courses and practises: He will be with you in all your stealing and pilfering, and in all your cursed devises, if you belong to him he will not give you over.

Iob. 7.19Job 7:19And in another place Iob saith, How long wilt thou not depart from me, nor let me alone till I swallow downe my spittle? You had better a great deale now have your hearts humbled and broken, and see your sinnes, then to see them when there is no remedy.

And in another place the holy man Iob saith, Thou wilt not suffer me to take in my breath, Iob. 9.18.Job 9:18but fillest me with bitternesse. Your eyes have beholden vanity, & therefore now you shall see the Lords wrath against you for your sinnes; and you have breathed out your venome against the Lord of heaven, therefore now he will fill your soules with indignation, in so much that he shall breath in his wrath, as you have breathed out your oathes against him: you have filled the Lords eyes and eares with your abominations, and the Lord of heaven shall fill you answerably with his wrath.

And in another place Iob saith, Thou wilt breake a dry leafe tossed too and fro: And yet the Lord brake him: Now the soule seeth all the evill, and the Lord pursueth him and sets conscience aworke to the full. Consider that of the Apostle, That all those might be damned which beleeved not p. 145the truth, but had pleasure in unrighteousnesse: Even all of them. What, shall no great ones be saved? No, nor you little ones neither; all that lay not hold upon Christ, but have pleasure in unrighteousnesse, not only great ones, and such as are abominably prophane, but even all that had pleasure in wickednesse. Now conscience saith, Doest not thou know that thou art one of them that have had pleasure in unrighteousnesse, therefore away thou must goe, and thou shalt be damned: Now the soule shakes, and is driven beyond it selfe, and would utterly faint, but that the Lord upholds it with one hand, as he beates it downe with the other; he thinkes that every thing is against him, and the fire burnes to consume him, and he thinkes the ayre will poyson him, conscience flies in his face, and he thinkes hell mouth is open to receive him, and the wrath of God hangs over his head, and if God should take away his life he should tumble head-long downe to hell.

Now the soule is beyond all shift, when it is day, he wisheth it were night, & when it is night he wisheth it were day; the wrath of God followeth him wheresoever he goeth, and the soule would faine be rid of this, but he cannot; and yet all the while the soule is not heavy and sorrowfull for sinne, he is burdened, and could be content to throw away the punishment and horror of sinne, but not the sweet of sinne: as it is with a child that ta…es a live coale in his hand, thinking to play with it, when he feeles fire in it, he throws it away, he doth not throw it away, because it p. 146is blacke, but because it burnes him; So it is here: A sinfull wretch will throw away his sinne, because of the wrath of God that is due to him for it, and the drunkard will be drunke no more, but if he might have his queanes and his pots without any punishment or trouble, he would have them with all his heart, he loves the blacke and sweet of sinne well enough, but he loves not the plague of sinne.

Foolish people (saith the Prophet) are plagued for their sinne. If thou roarest for disquiet of heart, and thy bones are broken; it is because of thy sin; thy pride, and drunkennesse, and uncleannesse, brought this upon thee; If thou wilt be eased of the plague, throw away thy corruptions, if you would have the effect removed, then take away the cause.

There are two things in sinne which make a man sorrowfull; first sinne it selfe that doth defile a man, and separate him from God: Secondly the punishment of sinne. Now the sinner lookes either so far at sinne as it causeth punishment, or as it separats from God.

Haply a sinner will come to this, he will be content to carry his heart, and that furiously against sinne, because it brings Judgements and plagues; But thus farre a hypocrite may goe, a Judas, a Caine, a Saul: Caine would say his sinnes were greater then could be forgiven: because he had killed his brother; but he could never see his sinne so vile; because it did separate him from God.

p. 147Thus you see how God enters the blow, and followeth it home upon the soule, but yet for all this, God may leave a man as he did Iudas and Saul, and there is an end of them.

Now in the third place, if the Lord purpose to doe good to the soule, he will not suffer him to be quiet here, but he openeth the eye of the soule further; and makes him sorrow, not because it is a great and shamefull sinne, but the Lord saith to the soule, even the least sinne makes a separation betweene me and thee; and the heart begins to reason thus, Lord is this true? is this the smart of sinne? and is this the vile nature of sinne? O Lord! how odious are these abominations that cause this evill, and though they had not caused this evill, yet this is worse then the evill, that they make a separation betweene God and my soule. Good Lord, why was I borne? and why came I into this world? why did God continue me here, and all the meanes of grace for my good, and all the comforts of this life, wherby my course might be maintained and made lesse tedious? what if I did want this horrour of heart, and had all the ease in the world? and what if I might be free from all misery on earth? what were this, so long as I had sin in my soule, that makes a separation betweene God & my soule? I was made to be one with God, & to have cōmunion w^th God, & to obey his cōmandements, but I have departed from God by sin & departed from his cōmandements.

A Godlesse and a gracelesse man is a miserable man though he were never plagued at all; I p. 148was made to honour God, and I have done nothing else but dishonour him: I was made to subject my selfe to the good will of God, but I have withdrawne my selfe from his will; and this is my misery and my plague; If I had beene in hell, and had not had sinne, I had beene a happy man, and though I had beene in heaven and had had sin I had beene a miserable man; because it makes a separation betweene me and my God.

Nay, the sinner still thus pleads with himselfe, what is this to me that I am rich and miserable, honourable and damned, to have quiet, and ease here, and a benummed conscience, and so in the end to be throwne among the devils for dogges meat? If I had all the ease, wealth, honours, and friends in the world, so long as I have this vile heart I could not be a happy man.

If you were never pierced for your sinnes your condition is woefull, you shall have enough of it one day, you that are never troubled for your sinnes but goe on smoothly, know this, I charge you in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, though you had all the ease and pleasures in the world, so long as you have these proud, sturdy, unfaithfull hearts, you are as miserable creatures as ever breathed upon the face of the earth.

Thus the heart complaines as sometimes the lamenting Church did, Woe to us that we have sinned, not because we have deserved plagues, but because we have sinned, woe to us, for the God of grace is gone from us, and the God of mercy is gone from us, because we have sinned; p. 149and the God of blessednesse is gone from us because we hauehave walked in cursed waies. Hold here and then your sorrow goeth right, if the soule can say, though I have no horrour of heart, yet if I have this sinfull heart, I am a miserable man.

Then thy sorrow is right. Sometimes God deales thus punctually with a man; first, he drives it to an amazement, Secondly, he workes in him marvelous feare of evill that is to come; Thirdly, he possesseth the soule with the feeling of the evill, and so forth, as in the former particulars, but yet is bound to no time, and therfore we must not limit the holy One of Israel: it is true, the Lord may presse in upon the soule, and worke all this on the sudden, but yet experience hath proved, and reason will confirme it, when God workes never so suddēly, he affecteth the soule, thus whē a poore soule commeth in the congregation, he layeth some truth upon him, that is new and terrible, so that the soule dare not deny it, nor yet fully resist it, but is in a maze, and by and by it may be the Lord opens his eyes and awakens his conscience, and makes that more evidēt to the soule, and so immediately arrests the soule, and then sorrow fals in a maine upon it; and the heart thinkes God meant my courses, and the minister spake against him; and he must go downe to hell suddenly; so that sometimes the sinner cries out in the congregation, and though he contain himselfe for a time, yet he buckles under the burthen; all this may be done at one sermon, in one doctrine, or in one part of an use; but usually this is p. 150Gods maner of working. But now the question in the next place will be this, how doth the soule behave it selfe under this sorrow?

I answer, when the soule is sorrowfull for sin, as it is sinne, and as it is a breach of the Law of God, it may appeare by these two particulars. First, the soule is most of all weary of sin, because of the vile nature of it. Secondly, it is restlesse in importuning the Lord for mercy and pardon for it.

First, the heart is most of all weary of the burthen of sinne, as it is sinne, and thinkes it the greatest burthen in the world: as a man that hath a great burthen on his backe wrincheth this way and that way, and if he cannot remove it, yet he will ease it; so the heart useth all meanes, and taketh all courses, that if it were possible, it may cast off and ease it selfe of the vilenesse of sinne & plague of sinne. This wearisomnesse of the soule, which followeth the weight of sinne, makes it self knowne in these three particulars.

First, his eye is ever upon it, his mouth is ever speaking of it, and he is alwaies complaining against it, and he is readily content to take shame to himselfe for it. If a man have a sore place in his body, his eye, and his finger will ever be upon it: so it is with the soule; As the people when they apprehended the hideous wrath of God against them, they entreated Samuel to pray for them,1. Sam. 12.19.1 Sam 12:19 for (say they) We have added to all our sinnes this specially, in asking of us a King.

As it is with a man that hath the stone in the p. 151reines, or some stitch in his side, or where ever his paine or trouble is, there he complaines most; and when the Physitiā comes to feele on his body he saith, is it here? no …ith he: is it here? and whē he commeth to the right place, he saith, there it is, cut there, and launce there: So it is with a man that is stung with the vile nature of sinne, when he comes to complaine of sinne, he doth not altogether complaine of his horrour, nor of death; but he saith, O! that chambring and wantonnesse, that pride and stubbornnesse and rebellion of heart: O! that ryoting, and malice against the Saints of God: The soule seeth this, & complaines of it, and takes shame to himselfe for it; as Paul deales with himselfe: which argues a heart truly weary of corruption. I was a persecutor, and a blasphemer, and the like; and I was received to mercy; he doth not say, I was in horrour or in trouble, but I was a persecutor: he doth not say, I was thus and thus plagued, but I was an injurious person to Gods Church, there he was weary, and there he would be eased, if it were possible. Let all vile wretches tremble at it, for God hath enough for all Pharoes and Nymrods.

Away therefore with all these Lapwing cries and complaints, it is the nature of that bird to cry & flutter most when she is farthest from her neast, because by this meanes she would cozen passengers, and have her young ones: So it is with an hypocrite, he will complaine a great way off of his sinne, and have some secret turning. It is admirable to see how hard it is for a man to lay p. 152open his sinnes before God, it is a signe that he is never weary of sinne, that he is not willing truly to confesse his sinne, when he is lawfully called to it, and when he pretends … it is true sometimes God will accept of a confession made to him in secret, if it be in truth, but when God will have a man unbowell himselfe, and all his abominations, and when a man commeth and desires comfort in this kinde, then for a man to cover his sinne, and to complaine a farre off of some ordinary corruption, which every poore child of God is troubled with, and that particular lust whereof he is guilty for shame he is not willing to acknowledge; this argueth that the heart is naught and never sound this wearisomnesse of sinne: I know that the best heart under heaven will have many windings and turnings; but the Lord will never leave the heart in this case, till he come to deale plainly; and say, these are my sinnes, and this is my uncleannes, and this is my secret theft, and thus he openeth himselfe at large, to that man whom God hath appointed for that end: but some are content to confesse and complaine of their sinnes when God hath them upon the racke, and Judas did, but marke, his punishment is the greatest cause of his complaint, and hell is his greatest feare, he … weary of sinne because of the plague and punishment due to it, but he never regards the vilenesse of sinne in this respect, because it makes a separation betweene God and his soule. Secondly, as the soule complaines of the vile nature of sin and desires to have his face p. 153covered with shame, for it is so in the second place; it will never meddle with nor give way to any thing that is sinfull, so farre as it is revealed, so to be setting aside sudden passions, and violent temptations, but when a man is come to himselfe againe, his conscience is awakened; this is sure, the soule will not dare to tamper with any thing that is sinful: why? becaus it hath bin wearied with the burthen of it before. It is the practice of the lamenting Church in Hosea;Hosea. 14.3.Hos 14:3 Ashur shall not save us, we will not ride on horses, neither will we say to the workes of our hands: Ye are our Gods, for with thee the fatherles finde mercy. That is, we wil meddle no more with any thing that is sinfull, wh…reby we have dishonoure… God heretofore, for they had trusted in their horses, & made Idols, and relyed upon them, but now they cast them cleane off.

The reason is, because when the soule seeth sin as it is sinne, and that it is burthen to the soule, and the heart is now weary of it, it will lay no more weight upon it, because now the heart is weary enough already. The blasphemer feares an oath, & the adulterer shakes to see his quean, and he trembles to see the place where his abominations have beene committed, and now his heart loathes all these. If a man hath beene once at deaths doore by drinking deadly poyson, he will never tast of it more; Nay, he will not endure the sight of that cup, he wil rather fare hardly, and rather starve then eate and drinke that which shall kill him, so (saith the soule) it is sin that hath made a separation betweene me and p. 154my God, this pride, or this uncleannesse had been the death of me if God had not beene mercifull unto me, and therefore I will rather sinke and die then meddle with these sinnes any more.

And hence it is, that if any thing come under the colour of corruption, the soule that is truly weary of sinne, saith, Omitting of this duty is evill, and therefore I will not omit it, the doing of this action is sinfull, and therefore I will not doe it; because the sinne is worse then the plague, he will take the lesse evill of the two, as we use to doe in other matters: if a man hate his sinne for the plague, then so soone as that is removed, he returnes to his sinne againe, the blow was but weake. This was the fault in Judas his sorrow he did see and confesse his sinnes, and bewaile them, and did more then many will doe now a daies, & tooke shame to himselfe, bu… though he confessed and complained of his sinne, yet he would rather commit murther upon himselfe, then under-goe the horrour of sinne; if he had beene weary of sin because of the loathsomenesse of it, he would not have layed violent hands upon himselfe: These two passages are every where, where true saving grace is.

Now in the third place, if God should deprive a sinner of his judgement and horrour of conscience, yet if his heart be truely apprehensive of sin as it is sinne, he cannot lay aside his sorrow; so long as sin prevailes and gets head against him, and dogges him up and downe, nothing will content him, but the removall of his sinne: That soule p. 155which was cured by any other meane save onelyonly by Christ, was never truly wounded for sinne: If ease cures him, then horrour was his vexation: If honour cure him, then shame was his burthen: If riches cure him, thē poverty did most of all pinch him: but if the soule were truly wounded for sin, then nothing can cure him but a Saviour to pardon him, and grace to purge him: for what is that to the soule, to have ease and liberty, nay to be in heaven, if he have a naughty rebellious heart, nay if it were possible for him to be in heaven with his sinfull heart, it would tyre him and burthen him there: Therefore those soules that are cured by any thing saving by Christ, those soules were never truly wounded for sinne as sinne: It may be horror and vexation lay heavy upon thē, but it was not the stroke of sinne that did trouble them.

Then gather up all, he that which out of the vilenesse which he seeth in sinne is content to take shame to himselfe, and will not meddle with his sinne, neither carelesly nor willingly, and is not cured by any thing saving by Christ, this man behaveth himselfe truly in the first place. Thus much of the tryall.