Works, Part 4 · Religious instruction · Chapter 47
CHAP. XLVII. Of Matrimonie, and of the duties which belong to that state.
GReat dangers follow them which ioyne in affinitie with sinners, as wee see in Ieboshaphat for ioyning himselfe with Achabs house, 2. Chron. chap. 17.Affections agreeing in good things.
2 It is an holy token of an holy vnitie betweene man and wife, and that they be married in the Spirit and not in the flesh, when their affections agree in good things.
3 Iethro in marrying his daughter to Moses had no respect to worldly preferments, which he saw Moses wanted, but onelyonly to the rare vertues which hee saw in him: This ought wee to obserue in these times, first to make such a choise for ourChosen in mariage. daughter of such a one as may bee a speciall guide and helper for her to the kingdome of heauen, and then to take other things if they come, but not to seeke them: God blessed this act of Iethro, for he had the worthiest man then liuing. And Moses had a great blessing to hauehave such a wife, as was brought vp in labour, that so shee might the better suffer with him in aduersitie, and prouide for her selfe in state of necessitie. This respect men ought to hauehave in marriage, least taking such as hauehave been brought vp delicately, they shall not be able to beare the crosse when it commeth.
4 It is most like, by the words of Zipporah, Exodus 4. 26. Thou art indeede a bloody husband vntounto mee: that Moses to please his wife did omit the Sacrament of Circumcision. This may teach vsus that wee are to honour our wiues, albeit the weaker vessels, because1. Pet. 3. …. 7. How far the husband is to honour his wife. 2. Sam. 6. Iob. 2. they be heires of the same grace with vsus, and must keepe louelove & peace in outward things so we at no hand in matters of religion must yeeld vntounto them, least we honour them more than God, and so wee shall cause a punishment to fall vponupon them and our selues. It was the cause of many troubles in Iacobs familie, to louelove Rachel more than Lea. But Dauid and Iob did wisely in withstanding their wiues when they sought to withdrawe their mindes from performing dutie vntounto God.
5 When the Lord makes any one man more excellent than another for gifts outward or inward, he trieth him whether he wil seeke Gods glorie, and the profit of his brethren: which fruites if they insue not, then thus doth the Lord let him see, that this is his corruption which he must labour against. For example: doth the Lord giuegive thee wife, riches, orGod giues the blessing of holy marriage to make men more seruiceable vntounto him. any such benefits? hee doth it to make thee more fitte to serue. So then, hath the Lord, giuen thee a wife? Looke to her, as the Lord hath committed his owne creature to thee, so thou be fit to be a guide vntounto her, going before her in al honestie and godlines. Againe, he doth trie thee whether thou wilt rest in her louelove, and whether thou wilt vse her companie soberly, not effeminately: he trieth thee whether thou wilt be couetous to care for earthly things in her behalfe. But these and the like fruites, the Lord doth shew thee the corruption which thou must labour against.
6 The Lord gaue Adam a wifeto trie him withall, and if he had not yeelded too much vntounto her in the time of temptation, no doubt hee might hauehave beene a great helpe that she might hauehave been recouered, and neither of them both hauehave so fallen. For had not he yeelded vntounto her hee might hauehave continued still in her innocencie. Thus then the Lord tried Adam, whether hee would continue in his obedience or no: likewise doth the Lord at all times trie men in marriage whether they will continue in his obedience, and labour to win their wiues also to the faith of Christ. So in like manner the Lord tries the wiues whetherThe subiection of the wife to the husbād how God requireth it. they will be in all things subiect to their husbands, as Sarah. For what gifts soeuer a woman hath, yet not being subiect to her busband, they are nothing. For euen in mans innocencie she was subiect, and after the fall it was laid on her as a punishment: so that if shee be not obedient she cannot be saued. Yet the Lord other whiles also trieth whether shee …er sobrietie and wisedome will as it were breake the crookednesse of her husband: … the Apostle teacheth, that the wiues must adorne the hidden men of the heart, that … husbands (albeit then not conuerted to the faith) might bee wonne by the honest1. Pet 3. 1. 2. 3 …ersation of their wiue…: how much the more then ought those who hauehave Christians …eir husbands, by their meanes bring them forward what they may▪ in the profession …ue godlinesse? But if they bee disobedient, and will requite euill with euill, or with …e, they doe what in them lieth, to ouerthrow the faith of their husbands. And thus … Lord trieth wiues also, whether they will continue in his obedience. Againe, hee trieth … whether they will rest in the louelove of their husbands onelyonly, and bee contented there… ▪ The louelove of the wise to the husband.yea when they see their husbands hearts turned from them: for if they will but onelyonly … when they are beloued, they declare that they onelyonly louelove themselues and not their …nds: for they ou…ht thus to consider, the Lord hath turned my husbands hart from … because I yeelded not to him that dutie which I ought, therefore I will not hold on to …se still, but now I will rather louelove him more, to see if the Lord will by these meanes … his heart againe.
7 When Zipporah became troublesome to Mose… in his calling, he left her with his fa… for a time: so she depriued her selfe, by her disobedience, of his comfortable presence▪ Wiues must helpe their husbands in Gods affaires 1. Cor. 7. 3. 4. …… ought to teach wiues euer to helpe, & not to hinder their husbands in the Lords af…. And like as that holy man of God receiued his wife againe at his returne, notwith…ding all her former faults: so must all the sonnes of God, i… there be any separation for …e and for iust causes, receiue, and entertaine, and retaine their wiues againe.
8 Husbands must hauehave a fatherly care, as principally of the saluation of his wife, so al… her good health and welfare in this life: and to this end giuegive her all the good instru… and direction that hee can. This lesson may well be giuen to all: Be m…st moderate in A good lesson for all.… things which thine appetite liketh best, and checke thy too much greedinesse of an earthly … ▪ and thou shalt finde this to bee good physicke for the body, and a wholesome pre…iue for the soule.
9 A certaine yong man hauing without consent of friends made a contract, hee wouldConsent of parents. … marrie them, vntill before honest witnesses they had faithfully cōditioned that in time …mariage they would confesse their fault against the glory of God, their superiours, and … whole Church, which should bee done at that time that the father is wont to giuegive the …gin in mariage.
10 A young man hauing ouer slipped in louelove, and intended to marrie without consent …gouerours, hee did not contract him, but admonished him: and at the day of mariage … vsed to the parties to be married this discipline: First, as they had priuately confessed … faults to their gouernours especially offended: and craued pardon: so he caused them … confesse their fault to the Church, and to aske forgiuenes, desiring all to beware of the … offence, and requesting their prayers for them, that this sinne may so humble them, … they may more warily walke without offence the residue of their life.