Works, Part 3 · Sermon 6
OF THE GOOD EDVCATION OF CHILDREN. THE SIXTH SERMON.
Prouerbs 17. 21.
Hee that begetteth a foole, getteth himselfe sorrowe, and the father of a foole can hauehave no ioy.
THE holie Ghost speaking in the Scripture of foolish sonnes, (as that he that be…etteth such a one, getteth himselfe sorrowe, and that the father of a foole hath no ioy) meaneth it not so much of naturall idiots, and such as are destitute of common reason (although it is true, that this is a lamentable iudgement of God, and a heauines to the parents of such a childe) as of wicked children, such as are either ignorant in the word, not knowing how to order one right step to the kingdome of God: or else hauing some knowledge of God, vngodlily abuse it, to maintaine their carnall lust and appetite. For thisFoolish children. cause as it would grieue parents to hauehave naturall fooles to their children, or such as either through some imperfection of nature are dismembred, or deformed, and misfigured in the parts of the bodie: so much more should it grieue them to hauehave such children, as either for want of knowledge and heauenly wisedome, cannot walke in the feare of God: or abusing the knowledge giuen them, prostitute themselues to all sinne and wickednesse.
It is marueilous to see how greatly parents can bewaile the want of one naturall gift proceeding of some imperfection, and how easily they can passe ouer without any griefe, the want of all spirituall graoes, springing from corrupt education. In like manner, it is strange that men can take the matter so heauily, when their children breake into such offences, as either hauehave open shame, or ciuill punishment following them, and yet can make no bones, but post ouer such sinnes as are against the maiestie of God, accompanied with euerlasting confusion and vnspeakable torments: wherein what doe most part of men bewray, but their greathy pocrisie, in that neither their ioy nor their griefe is soūd to their children, and that they louelove themselues more in their childrē, than either their saluation, or the glorie of God? The tender louelove & care whereof no doubt did encrease the sorrowe of Dauid for the death of his sonne Absolon, who was not so much grieued for the losse of a sonne, as for that vntimely end of his sonne. Let vsus learne therefore to correct our affections to our children, and be grieued for our ignorance, impietie and sinnes: whereof either our carnall compassion, the not lamenting of our owne naturall corruption, the wantFor what causes the Lord afflicteth parents in their children. of prayer for an holy seede, or prophane education armed with the wrath of God, may bee a most iust occasion. Can a man hope for a holy posteritie? or doe wee maruaile if the Lord crosse vsus in the children of our bodies, when wee make as bold and brutish an entrance into that holy ordinance of the Lord, as in the meeting of the neighing horse with his mate, when being ioyned in that honorable estate of matrimonie, either as meere naturall men without all knowledge of God wee beget our children: or as too carnall men without the feare and reuerence of the Lord, neither bewailing our corruption which we receiued of our forefathers, nor praying against our infirmities which may descend to our posteritie, we abuse the marriage bed. Lastly, whē hauing receiued the fruit of the wombe, we hauehave no care by vertuous education to offer it to the Lord, that our childe by carnall generation may be the childe of God by spirituall regeneration? Surely no. And yet men without all looking vp to Gods prouidence and secret counsell, without all bethinkingEducation of children. themselues of their corrupt nature, from which their children are descended, without all looking backe into their wicked and godlesse bringing them vp, will fret against their sinnes, and fume against their children: yea often they will correct them, and that to serue their owne corruptions, not so much grieued for that they hauehave sinned against God, as that they hauehave offended them. Christians therefore must knowe, that when men and women raging with boyling lusts meete together as bruit beasts, hauing none other respects than to satisfie their carnall concupiscene, and to strengthen themselues in worldly desires, when they make no conscience to sanctifie the mariage bed with prayer, when they hauehave no care to increase the Church of Christ and the number of the elect, it is the …ustMariage bed to be sāctified with prayer. iudgement of God to send them monsters, vntimely births, or disfigured children, or naturall fooles: or else such as hauing good gifts of the minde, and well proportioned bodies, are most wicked, gracelesse, and prophane persons. Againe on the contrarie side, wee shall finde in the word of God noble and notable men commended vntounto vsus for rare examples of vertue and godlinesse, who were children asked and obtained of God by prayer. Our first parents Adam and Eue being humbled after the birth of their wicked sonne Kaine, obtained a righteous Abell, of whom, when by his bloodie brother theyGodly children Gods speciall gift. were …ereft, they receiued that holy man Seth. Abraham begetting a childe in the fleshe, had a cursed Ismael: but waiting by faith for the accomplishment of Gods couenant, hee obtained a blessed Isaac. Iacob not content with one wife, according to the ordinance of God, was punished in his children: yet after being humbled, he receiued a faithfull Ioseph. Elkanah and Anna praying and being cast downe, had a Prophet that did minister before the Lord. Dauid and Bethsheba lamenting their sinnes, obtained Salomon a man of excellent wisedome. Zacharie and Elizabeth fearing the Lord, receiued Iohn the Baptist and forerunner of Christ. Looke what sinnes wee hauehave naturally, without Gods great blessing, without prayer and humbling of our selues, we shall conueigh them to posteritie: and although the Lord doe grant sometimes naturall *As beautie, strength, wit, &c.gifts vntounto the children of carnall and naturall men, yet for the most part they receiue their naturall *If the childe resēble his pa rent sin beautie, strength, wit, for the most part naturally, hee is infected with the sins which accompanied those gifts in his parents, as pride, vaine-glory.sinnes withall. But if the children of God by regeneration do see into themselues, and lament their sinnes of generation, praying that their naturall corruptions may be preuented in their posterities, they shall see the great merciemercy of God in some measure freeing their posteritie from their sinnes.
Now when thou shalt see such sinnes to be in thy children, enter into thine owne heart, examine thy selfe, whether they are not come from thee, consider how iustly the hand of God may bee vponupon thee, and when thou wouldest bee angrie with thy childe, hauehave an holy anger with thy selfe, and vse this or such like meditatiō with thine owne soule: Lord, shall I thus punish mine owne sinne, and that in my child? Shall I thus prosecute the corruptions of my auncesters? Nay I see, O Lord, and proue that thou art displeased with me, for the too carnall desire of posteritie. I lay then in some sinne, I asked not this childe of thee by prayer; be mercifull vntounto me O God, and in thy good time shew some pitie vponuponA notable meditatiō in the correctiō of children. my child. Thus thinking when thou goest about to correct the corruptiō of nature in thy childe, which he could not helpe, arming thy selfe with prayer, repenting with Iacob, thou shalt be so affected, that as thou art desirous to draw thy childe out of sinne, so yet to doe it with the mildest meanes, and with least rigour. And one thing is most wonderfull, that1 some will teach their children to speake corruptly, and doe wickedly whilest they areThe follie of some parents. young: and yet beate them for it when they are come to riper age. Againe, some will imbolden their children to practise iniquitie towards others, which when by the iust iudgement2 of God, they afterwards practise against their parents themselues, they are corrected for it. And yet deale with these and such like men, for the euil education of their children, and they will answere, doe not wee as much as is of vsus required? Wee send our children to the Church to be instructed of the pastor and to the schoole to be taught of the master; if they learne, it will be the better for them; if not, they hauehave the more to answere for another day, what can wee doe more? But remember O man, consider O woman, whosoeuer thus speakest, that for thy sinnes sake, and thy want of prayer, there may be a plague vponuponParēts must giuegive their children a good example in their priuate familie. the pastors paines, and a curse vponupon the teachers trauaile: If parents would hauehave their children blessed at Church and at schoole, let them beware they giuegive their children no corrupt examples at home, by any carelesnes, prophanenes, or vngodlines; otherwise parents will doe them more harme at home, than both pastors and schoolemasters can doe them good abroade. For the corrupt example of the one, fighteth with the good instruction of the other, which is so much the more dangerous, because that corrupt walking is armed with nature, and therefore more forceably inclineth the affections of children to that side. And further, experience teacheth vsus, that children like or mislike more by countenance,When to begin to catechize children. gesture and behauiour, than by any rule, doctrine, precept, or instruction whatsoeuer. Some there be also, that will not hauehave their children taught, vntill they bee ten or twelue yeeres olde: because (as they say) before that age, they hauehave but an apish imitation. To whom I answere, that although indeede they cannot then deeply discerne, nor profoundly conceiue things; yet how many things before those yeeres both will they receiue and remember? And I demand, if children being apish in imitating euill whilest they be yong, which they will hauehave the habit of when they be old, why may they not much more better doe apishly good when they are young, which they may doe carefully when they are old? Besides, let them so goe vntaught, and they will grow so headstrong, that they will sooner be broken than bended. And sure it is, that one stripe or two wordes will doe more good to a child in the beginning, than an hundred stripes afterward. And here let parents bee admonished of their vndiscreete correction, who doe their children more harme in shewing a merrie countenance after their discipline vsed, than they doe good by their chastising, although in their anger they be corrected. Neither doe I purpose to take away naturallWee must mourne and pray in the corrections of our children. affections and a Christian kinde of compassion in all our censures: for it is my great complaint of the brutish vnmercifulnes of many parents herein; but I would wish Christians to correct their vndiscreete affections herein by heauenly wisedome. Neither am I so Stoicall as to denie a more milde and affable kinde of speech, to bee both lawfully and conueniently vsed to children: but yet I wish it to be voide of all vnseemely leuitie, and without all shewe of foolish, vaine and vnnecessarie behauiour. To bee briefe, how needfullHousehold gouernment. household gouernement is towards our children, it may appeare by the slender thriuing and smal profiting of religion and vertue, either in the Church or Common-wealth. For complaine men, and preach they neuer so much abroade, vnlesse they wil begin to reforme their owne houses, and giuegive religion a roome at home, especially in their owne hearts, they shal trauaile much, and profit little. And surely if men were careful to reforme themselues first, and then their own families, they should see Gods manifold blessings in our land vponupon Church and Common-wealth. For of particular persons come families; of families townes; of townes prouinces; of prouinces whole realmes: so that conueighing Gods holy trueth in this sort from one to another, in time, and that shortly, it would so spread into all parts of this kingdome. Well I say, let there be neuer so good lawes in cities,The want of household discipline cause of many euils. neuer so pure orders in Church, if there be no practise at home, if fathers of families vse not doctrine and discipline in their houses, and ioyne their hands to Magistrate and Minister, they may, but most vniustly (as many hauehave done) complaine that their children are corrupted abroade, whereas indeede they were before, and still are corrupted at home. Alas, if parents to whom the comfort of their children well brought vp, is a precious crowne, will not informe and reforme their children in the feare of God, whom it doth chiefly concerne; how should hope sustaine these men, that others will performe this dutie to them, for whom the charge doth farre lesse appertaine? Lastly let parents remember, that therefore oftentimes they hauehave disordered and disobedient children to themselues, because they hauehave been disobedient children to the Lord, and disordered to theirA note for parents. parents when they were yong; wherefore because they hauehave not repented, the Lord punisheth their sinnes committed against others, with the like sinne in others against themselues.
Wilt thou know then O father, how thou maist hauehave that blessing, to be the blessed father of a blessed seede? wilt thou know O mother, how to auoide that curse, to be the cursed mother of a cursed seede? then bring thy children within the couenant, endeuour to make thy sonne by nature, the sonne of God by grace; and thy daughter by nature, the daughter of God by grace: and remember that God which on his part protested to our father Abraham, that he was all sufficient for the accomplishment of his promise, in giuing him a blessed seede, required also of our father Abraham for his part, that he should walke before him and be vpright.
Wilt thou then hauehave the one part of this couenant, that is, that God should blesse thee in thy seed? then remember thou also the other part, that thou walke before the Lord and be vpright. Wilt thou hauehave thy children as the blessed seede of Abraham? teach them with Abraham the commandements of God, pray for them with Abraham that they may liue in the sight of the Lord; be readie to offer them with Abraham, that they may bee an holy sacrifice to the Lord; It is thou O man, O woman, that maiest do thy child the greatest good and the greatest harme: if thou praiest for him, and repentest for thy selfe, the Lord will blesse thy care, the pastors paines, and the teachers trauaile. But if thou despisest these duties, the Lord will denie thee those blessings, and the curse of God will bee vponupon thy childe at home in thy house, abroade in the Church and in the schoole. And seeing that the Lord hath promised that hee will bee thy God, and blesse thy seede, if thou bee faithfull: thou maiest both hope, that thou art of the faithfull, if thou hauehave a blessed seede, and feare that thou hast not as yet the blessing of the couenant, when thy seede is cursed.
But some will say, had not Iacob wicked children, and Dauid godlesse sonnes? And dothObiection. not daily experience teach vsus, that wicked men hauehave godly children? Yes: for besides the secret counsel of the Lord herein, we must know that neither the promise of the Lord is so vniuersall, that eueryevery particular childe of a faithfull man should be within the couenant: for if of many there be but one blessed, the promise is performed. Yea which more is, though that a faithfull man hauehave neuer a good childe, yet if vntounto the thousand generation there be but one good, the couenant is not broken. Neither must wee tie the Lords worke so much to man, that a good man may not hauehave an euil sonne, seeing though the Lord visit not his sinnes, yet hee may visit the sinnes of some of the forefathers, to the third and fourth generation going before.
To the second I say: that an euill father hauing a good child, though the Lord shew not merciemercy to that particular man therein, yet he may remember his promise to some of the forefathers in the thousand generation going before. And though that an euill man hauehave no cursed child, yet the curse may be accomplished in the third and fourth generation following. Wherefore not speaking of election or reprobation, which we leaue onelyonly to the Lord to make good or bad, according to the good pleasure of his owne will, I exhort parents to vse the ordinarie meanes to bring vp their childrē, so as they either by some good tokens may see them the children of God, and heires of the couenant: or at the least be comforted in their owne consciences, if the Lord refuse their children for some cause vnknowne, in that to their abilitie they hauehave vsed all good meanes to bring them vp well, and offered them to God. And if parents hauehave cause to be grieued, when thus trauailing in good education, they cannot see good in their children; how much more cause of griefe may they hauehave, when they hauehave vsed no labour at all to bring them vp in the feare of the Lord? and yet many will be grieued for the one, that will not be grieued for the other. Wherefore let vsus learne (if we will conueigh Gods blessings to our posterities) to vse all holy duties thereunto: and on the contrarie, if we will be loath to conueigh Gods iudgements to our children, let vsus carefully auoide all meanes that leade vntounto them. And surely as it is a blessed thing in the houre of death with Sim…on to depart in peace, leauing our wife, children and seruants spouses to Christ, children to God, and seruants to the Lord: so in death no one thing will be more grieuous to a man, than, the Lords hauing giuen him the charge and dignitie of so many soules, to be furthered to saluation, that his owne tormented conscience shall presse him, how, in as much as he could, he hath helped them forward to their damnation; and so, which is more fearefull, he shall hauehave them spuing andThat parēts may hauehave a good conscience in death. foming out in his face continual curses, in hell accusing him for euer to be the murtherer of their soules. Howbeit, I doe not exempt children from all blame, so charging the parents, as though the children were free from all guiltinesse herein: for I am not ignorant, that as in the time of Ezekiel, so in our dayes, youth is readie enough to take vp this Prouerbe, The fathers hauehave eaten sowre grapes, and the childrens teeth are set on edge. But I affirme, that though the occasion be offered of such wicked parents, yet the cause of destruction is still in the children themselues. And besides that, it is sure that the soule which hath sinned shall die the death. Seeing also there be some yong men, who notwithstanding the great prophanenes of the most, the manifold corruptions offered abroade, the vngodly examples abounding at home, are so mightily preserued by the seede of grace, that they escape safely in an holy course of life, lamenting when they see the least occasion of euill, reioycing in the least occasion of good things: the rest who please themselues, and hope to shelter their sinnes vnderunder their parents defaults, are plainely left without excuse, and are iustly guiltie of the blood of their owne soules. Labour therefore ye yong men to wipe away the teares of griefe from your fathers eyes, and stay the sorrowfull spirits of your tender mothers, and consider with your selues, if you hauehave any good nature in you, and hauehave not buried the vse of common reason, what a shame it is to be a shame vntounto your fathers, to whom ye ought to be a glorie: and thinke ye wanton wits, that hauehave not cast off all naturall affections, what a contempt it is to be a contempt vntounto your mother, to whom ye hauehave offered as it were a despightfull violence, in that ye are as it were a corrosiue vntounto her heart, when as ye should hauehave bin a Crowne vntounto her head.
The end of al this briefly is thus much, that parents hauing children not walking either in knowledge or in a good conscience, must make some vse of so iust a cause of griefe, examining themselues, and accusing their owne soules before the Lord; either for that their meeting was prophane to so holy an estate; or brutish, because they desired rather a seede like vntounto themselues in flesh and blood, than such as might be like to Christ by grace and new birth; or that they begat their of spring, as meere naturall or very carnall men; or because they either prophanely neglected al educatiō, or monstrously misliked that in their children which they liked in themselues, and punished in them their owne corrupt precepts; or for that they suffered iniuriously their children to doe euill vntounto others, which they could not suffer them to doe vntounto themselues: or vntaught that at home which was taught abroad; or in that they doe lie in some sinne vnrepented of; or else because they neuer made conscience to bring their posteritie within the couenant of saluation: but still loued their flesh in their children, & not their soules. And children must here also learne, that it is one speciall propertie of a liberall and ingenuous nature, to be carefull so to liue, that in time they may bee a glorie to their fathers, and a ioy to their mothers: which the Lord grant to vsus all for his glorie, and our euerlasting comfort: through Iesus Christ our Lord and onelyonly Sauiour.
FINIS.