Works, Part 1 · Spiritual counsels 1 · Counsel 49 – Counsel 51
Matrimonie.
1 ONe may know whether his wife be brought vntounto him of the Lord by these notes. First, if there be any agreeing or proportionable liking each of other, and that in1 the gifts of the minde, concerning their generall calling, as zeale, faith, godlines; and alsoNotes of an holy mariage concerning their particular calling. Secondly, if they being thus consonant, do vse good2 meanes, as the word, prayer, and consent of parents in their contracts, and then the good order of the Church in their meetings, and if they vse no charmes, nor vnhonest or vnlawfull meanes. Thirdly, that their hearts be sincerely affected to Gods holy ordinance,3 so that first they respect this end, to hauehave a helper to Gods kingdome, when each of them hath said in their soules, I will seeke out one in whom I may see mine owne image of faith, louelove, holinesse, &c. that will helpe mee to Gods kingdome. Againe, when they doe not marrie for riches, beau…ie, or such like outward things: but hauehave a desire4 mutually to doe the duties which they owe one vntounto another. Besides, they must5 hauehave a desire to hasten the kingdome of Christ, by fulfilling, so much as in them lieth, the number of the elect: and vsing it as a remedie against incontinencie. And so we see condemned6 here all marrying of young men with old women, when there can be no hope of procreation.
2 VntoUnto a gentlewoman that was afraide that her good will was suspected to her husband,If our owne heart condemne vsus, no man can acquite vsus. being fa…re from her, in that he receiued not the letters she sent him, he said: If your conscience did excuse you, he could not condemne you, and God will make knowne your heart vntounto him: if your owne heart condemne you, then can he not ex…use you, no not although he thought very well of you▪
3 As a louing husband will not take away his louelove from his wife for some particularSimile. wants, so long as she keepeth her louelove wholy and truly vntounto him: so the Lord will not cast off his louing kindnes to vsus for speciall wants, or frailtie in particular commandements, so long as we generally labour to please him.
4 When one asked him concerning marriage, whether it were good to marrie; seeing sometimes, when concupiscence pricked him, he was moued to it, and some other time when he felt no such thing, he thought he might abstaine from it: He answered, manySee before title of concupiscence. come hastily into that calling, not v…ing the means of trying their estate throughly before; as namely, whether they by prayer, fasting, and auoyding all occasions of concupiscence, hauehave the gi…t of chastitie or no? Many vse some of the meanes, and not all: many vse all the meanes, but a small time: therefore it is good to vse first the meanes, not part of them, but all of them: not for a while, but long. If so be that all these things will not preuaile, attend vponupon the Lords ordinance, and waite when the Lord shall giuegive iust occasion of vsing that estate, to his glorie and our comfort.
5 He thought it to be a good ceremonie for the father to giuegive his daughter in mariageThe father to giuegive his daughter in marriage. before the congregation, if she either be a virgin or a yong widow, to shew that she made not her owne match, but that she made it by her fathers consent. And being asked how it should be, … t… father were dead, he said, then he would not hauehave the mother to doe it in the congregation, but th…ught it good for the father in his testament, wisely to appoynt some viceg…rent to do… his dutie. If any man doe this rather at the appoyntment of the yong parties, than at the appoyntment of the parents, it is an abuse. Now that there mustConsent of parents. be in all lawfull contracts the consent of parents, he said: first, children are a part of mens goods, as in Iob. 1. it appeareth, in that Sathan hauing commission to set on the goods of Iob, did seaze on the children of Iob. Secondly, if in the law a damsell might not performe her vow vntounto the Lord, her father misliking it: then much lesse, as it is probable, may a damsell performe promise of mariage to a man, her father misliking it.
6 He said, he could not away with such as would marrie too soone after they had …uriedSecond mariages not to be hastened. Est mul…er in…amis propter nuptiarum festinationem, si ante annum nubit. In authenticis Iustiniani, collatione quarta de nuptii…. their wiues, but that it were better for abstaining a time, to shew themselues humbled vnderneath the hand of God in that crosse: and to testifie that it was no light louelove vntounto the parties whom they loued in the Lord. For besides that, it is almost vnnaturall, to get another bodie in bed, before the former be rotten in the graue: it is a thing of euill report impugning common honestie, in that it may offer offence vntounto the friends of the parties departed, and giuegive occasion to thinke that their louelove was but light, being so soone forgotten; …s also for that it may giuegive occasion of iealousie to the parties to be maried, and to their friends, in that they may feare that their louelove will be as light and little to them, as it was to the other before. And although any set time for diuers circumstances cannot be prescribed, yet vsually a yeere were but sufficient for this purpose of abstinence.
Meditation.
1 MEditation is the very life and strength of reading, hearing, prayer and Sacraments, without which they are made weake and vnprofitable vntounto vsus.
2 Meditation is that exercise of the minde, whereby we calling to our remembranceWhat meditation is. that which we know, doe further debate of it, and applie it to our selues, that we might hauehave some vse of it in our practise.
3 In meditation two parts of the soule are occupied:
1. The memorie. Remembring some thing heard or read.
2. The vnderstanding. Gathering some other thing vpō that which is remēbred, as namely, in finding out the
Causes.
Fruites.
Properties.
4 The worke wrought in the affections is this, that they are framed either to louelove or hatred, hope or feare, ioy or sorrow, according to the diuersitie of the thing which the reasonable part hath seriously considered of. For example, a man then meditateth on the word, when he so remembreth it and museth on it, that he goeth from poynt to poynt, applying generally somethings vntounto himselfe, and wisely examining how the case stands betwixt the Lord and him in those things, whereby he seeing what is like to follow vponupon it, hath his heart stirred vp to put something in practise.
5 In hearing of the word with others, and reading of it by our selues, we think we hauehave to deale but with men, because those are but outward things, many men will carrie themselues cheerefully: but there is nothing more tedious vntounto vsus, (without Gods speciall assistance)Godly meditation painfull. than by meditation to call our selues to account before Gods iudgemēt seate for that which we hauehave heard, and to deale with our hearts in good earnest for the doing or not doing of the things we hauehave learned: and without hypocrisie to lay our hearts naked before God, accusing our selues when we come short of any thing, praying also for grace therein, confessing our sinnes that we hauehave been rebuked of, and crauing forgiuenes: acknowledging his merciemercy where we hauehave receiued any thing, and begging for the continuance of it: and so to depart away either more humbled in our selues, to auoide sinne more carefully; or comforted in the Lord, to goe on forward in weldoing more cheerefully.
6 A great companie of men, …d euen many prosessors, hauehave an euill opinion of meditation, because (hauing purposed to passe their time in mirth) they feare if they should deale thus streightly with themselues▪ least it would make them melancholike and heauy: vponupon which occasion, they will not so much as abide to be alone, nay in the companie ofFalse feares of m…lancholie. graue and sober men: and to keepe them from thi…, some of great place are content to maintaine Iesters, &c. But if we will consider the profits which come to those, who vse meditation, and the hurts which fall on them who vse it not, we shall be easily perswaded to embrace it.
Commodities of meditation, and hurts of the want thereof.
1 IF we meditate of those generall rules which we hauehave heard out of the word, we shallPsal. 119. I am wiser than my teachers. many times see more cleerely into the truth of it, than he that preacheth, or at least more than he expressed vntounto vsus. For by the spirit of God we shall be taught to applie it more particularly to our selues, than he did or could doe, because we are most priuie to our owne estate.
2 Those that much meditate, become there by the godliest men, and most profitable to themselues and others: because meditation so increaseth knowledge in vsus, as that it especially breedeth good affections, and quickeneth them most, being begun in vsus, & by ou… affections we are carried to practise goodnesse in our selues. Contrariwise, they which vse not meditation, cannot attaine to that knowledge, which otherwise they might hauehave. For we see that a scholler of a most excellent wit, cannot attaine to great learning, if he meditate not on the things read vntounto him; how much lesse can wee which are dull and blinde, concerning spirituall things?
3 Furthermore, the knowledge which one gets, whilest it swimmes in the braine, and is not setled in the affections by meditation, is but a vanishing knowledge. For if persecution befall vsus, or if heretikes trie vsus with subtill arguments, or if Sathan tempt vsus, we shall be shaken from our former knowledge. But contrariwise a setled perswasion of the heart, is hardly or not at all ouercome.
4 Those who omit meditation, hauehave their knowledge for the most part grounded vponuponHorat. lib. 1. E…ist. 2, other mens sayings and writings, and they bring themselues into this bondage, to belieue all to be true that their writer saith, because they hauehave not examined it.In v…ba jura… mag i….
5 Want of Meditation destroyeth the memorie, and causeth men to trust altogether to their books: so as if they hauehave time sufficient & store of books, they are able to speake with great admiration of the hearers, and yet of the same matters can scarse speake toMeditation helps memorie. a priuate man tolerablie to his edification and comfort, because hee hath but spoken it out of the booke, and not laboured to make it his owne by Meditation, that thereby hee might finde out how to applie it to his owne vse, and the benefit of others. Want of Meditation takes away the vse of knowledge.