Works, Part 2 · Treatise 3
A TREATISE OF A CONTRACT BEFORE MARIAGE.
After prayer hee spake as followeth.
THat none of vsus might doubt whether there bee iust occasion of this mannerTh' espousage or betrothing before full mariage knowne by the light of nature. of our meeting or no; wee are to call to minde euen from the Heathen, that the light of nature taught them, that there was a solemne promise to be made of the parties that should bee maried, before they were to be ioyned in marriage, and that was called the espousage: and therefore we were the more to be blamed, if we should neglect so good a custome, especially being commended to the chosen people of God, as we may gather of his words: for we reade that the Lord God made a law concerning the espoused persons, that if they were vnfaithfull of their bodies, they should be condemned as adulterers, euen as well as the maried parties. Mary also was affianced vntounto Ioseph, before the solemnising of their mariage. And the vse of the Church standeth with good reason: for that the neglect of it is an occasion that many are disappointed of their purposed mariages, because some of them through inconstancie goe backe. It is very meete also, that they should hauehave some instructions giuen them concerning the graces and duties that are required in that estate, that they may pray vntounto the Lord, and so be prepared and made fit to be publikely presented to the congregation afterwards.
Now further as concerning the nature of this contract and espousage, although it be a degree vnderunder mariage, yet it is more than a determined purpose, yea more than a simple promise. For euen as he which deliuereth vp the estate of his lands in writing (all conditionsA contract is more than a simple promise of mariage. agreed vponupon) is more bound to the performance of his bargaine, than he that hath purposed, yea or made promise thereof by word of mouth, although the writings be not yet sealed: euen so there is a greater necessitie of standing to this contract of mariage, than there is of any other purpose or promise made priuately by the parties. These things obserued, I purpose (as God shall giuegive me grace) to giuegive some lessons, how you must prepare your selues to liue in the estate of mariage. I will for the helpe of your memorie deale in this sort and order: first briefly going through the Articles of your faith, and then through the Commandements, noting some especiall duties fit for this purpose.
As concerning your beleefe in God the Father, you know (brethren) you must beleeueHow the parties betrothed must be taught to know their duties. in him, as being creator of all things, and also the gouernour and preseruer of the same: you must also vnderstand that he created man according to his own image, and gaue him the preheminence & gouernment of the woman, for the helpe of the man, that he might be furthered in the seruice of his God. So you must much more look that you be not hindred from the Lord by your wife: for there are many whilest they desire mariage, so long as their hope is deferred they are carefull in the discharge of their dutie: but afterward once enioying those things they looked for, they waxe more negligent than they were before, greatly dishonouring God by their vnthankfulnes. And it may be the onelyonly fault of man, if he be not helped by his wife to grow in godlines: for I thinke that euen Euah inNote. moning her husband Adam to eate of the forbidden fruite, had been an helper vntounto him, to bring him acquainted with the malitious enmitie of Satan against them both, if according to the great measure of graces he had receiued from the Lord, he had bin more faithfull in obeying the will of God, and had wisely rebuked his wife. And againe, although the woman was the occasion of sinne: yet the force of sinne to the corruption of mankind came into the world by the sinne of the man. For so the Apostle saith, Rom, 5. As by one man (meaning Adam) sinne entred into the world, and death by sinne: and so death went ouer all men, for as much as all men hauehave sinned. So much more the grace of God, and the gift of grace, which is by one man Iesus Christ, hath abounded vntounto many. And in the 3. of Genesis we reade, that the eyes of the woman were not opened vntill the man had eaten of the fruite: but so soone as he had eaten, the eyes of them both were opened, & they knew that they had sinned. Therefore I gather thus much, that rebuke should hauehave preuailed more to conuert her, than her mouing of him to transgresse, should hauehave been able to peruert him. I speake not to excuse the woman, for I know the Lord was displeased with her, and for that cause hath laid a special punishmēt vpō her, in the painful bringing forth of children.
But that I might shew the great charge that lieth vponupon the man, to stay the corruptions of the woman, by reason of the authority which the Lord hath giuen him ouer her▪ which I would hauehave you (brother) diligently to consider of. And you my sister must take profit, by calling to minde, that this was one end of your creation, that you should glorifie God in being an helper to your husband: therefore take heede that you be not a hinderer vntounto him, to trouble him or to vexe his heart, whereby he should be lesse f…uitfull in his calling: but be you cheerful towards him, so that although he should hauehave little comfort in al other things, yet he may finde great cause to reioyce in you. And this you must know, that as it is required of your husband to seeke for wisedome to be able to gouerne you: so the Lord requireth of you to be subiect vntounto him, remembring also that as God hath inioyned you silence in the congregation, so you must seeke for instruction at his mouth in your priuate chamber.
Another thing I would hauehave you both to cōsider of in this point of your beliefe, is faith in Gods prouidence. And marke that well I shall say vntounto you: for it is a speciall thing,The contracted must remember that God by his good prouidēce brought them together. and I know it shall doe you good, if God blesse it vntounto you: for if you be assured in your hearts that it was the Lord who in his gracious prouidence brought you thus together, you shall be comforted against all troubles and hindrances that shall by any meanes be raised vp against you. For this is the nature of Sathan to bring men and women to this doubt: and when they once yeeld vntounto it, what trouble and what strife doth he worke betwixt them? For whereupon ariseth that impatiencie of spirit that we see to be in many, in murmuring, in chiding, in cursed speeches, & much like vnquietnes? doth it not come of this, because they hauehave not a reuerend perswasion that the Lord in his prouidence as by his owne hand ioyned them in that neere bond and coniunction together? Therefore my good brother and sister, as you would continue and increase in much louelove and peace one towards another, marke (I say) this point diligently: for it shal be a very comfortable stay vntounto you both, whatsoeuer should fall out afterwards, contrarie to that you looked for: as if there should be any disagreement in your seu…rall dispositions and natures: or if you should fall into sicknesses, into any diseases, or such like trials, you remembring that this was the Lords doing, you may be more assured that yet for all this, it shall be well in the end, if you be cōstant in prayer, calling vpō God the Father through faith in Iesus Christ. Now that you may prooue vntounto your owne harts that the Lord hath knit you thus together, you must consider that it must needs be the Lord who hath moued the harts of your Christian parents to giuegive their lawfull consents vntounto you in the same, and God in merciemercy shall giuegive you greater assurance of it, if you marke his dealings with you from time to time.
Now as touching your faith in Iesus Christ, vnderstand that mariage is holy vntounto themFaith in Iesus Christ. onelyonly, whose hearts are sanctified by faith in his name. And although God will alwaies approue his owne ordinance, yet it must needs prooue hurtfull in the end vntounto them, who call not for his blessing vponupon the same: and without repentance will turne to their further condemnation. Therefore you are both to examine your selues diligently herein: & you brother. A. must learne hereby so to louelove your wife, as Christ Iesus loued his Spouse, his Church: that is to say, euen as our Sauiour Christ is very patient towards it, and by littleThe wisedome and louelove of a good Christian in the gouernment of his wife. and little purgeth, washe…h, and clenseth away the corruption of it: so you must in like manner in all wisedome vse the meanes, and with a patient minde waite for the amendment of any thing that you shal finde to be amisse in your wife, & that the graces of Gods spirit may daily increase in her. Therefore I charge you in the sight of God & his Angels, and as you will answere vntounto me and the parents of this my sister, before the iudgement seate of Christ, that as you receiue her a virgin from her parents, so you neglect no dutie, whereby her saluation may be furthered, that you may present her pure & blamelesse, as much as in you lieth, vntounto Iesus Christ, when he shall call you to account. And doe not thinke that this is a harder charge, thā is meete: for seeing that God hath promised a blessing vntounto those husbands that are faithfull to the conuerting of their vnbeleeuing wiues, how much more then shall you preuaile with a Christian daughter, and one (I hope) that hath receiued the faith as well as your selfe? And you my sister, must likewise take heede, that you refuse not to obey your husbād, in all things agreeable to Gods most holy word. For you must by his ordinance be subiect vntounto him, euen as the Church is subiect vntounto Iesus Christ. And as the Church should be but a strumpet, and be vnworthie of Christ, and those blessings which he bringeth with him for her, if she should not receiue and acknowledge him as her head: so could you not looke for any benefit from your husband, vnlesse you should submit your selfe vntounto him, according to the commandement of God. Neither do I thus charge you with any obedience but in the Lord: for if he should require any such thing of you, as should cause you to depart from Christ, I would hauehave you in any case remember that you are principally espoused vntounto Christ. And herein also you must consider, that there will be speciall araces of obedience, and modesti…, and goodnesse looked for of you: not onelyonly in respect of your good education, but also because of that help which is now offered vntounto you. And when the holie Ghost in the Scriptures telleth you, that the belieuing wife may (through his blessing) winne the vnbeli…uing Husband, if so be shee walke christianlie in godly conuersation with modestie and scare before him: let this encourage you to hope for better successe, by all meanes of dealing towards one that is faithfull, and I trust will be willing in all good things to comfort you.
Now thirdly, in that you are taught to belieue in God the holie Ghost, it admonisheth you to pray for his teaching, that you may by him be led into all truth, and be further instructed & drawne vntounto eueryevery Christian dutie frō time to time. The duties are very many to be gathered out of eueryevery article, as also out of the seuerall Commandements: but I will onelyonly giuegive you a taste, and touch o…ely some one dutie, required of you in euerie one of them. In that you belieue that there is an vniuersall Church and Communion of Saints,The communiō of Saints. you must bee diligent to approoue your selues one to each other, that you are parts and members thereof: and further the gra…es that God hath bestowed vponupon either of you, must be common in the vse thereof to each other: so againe, you must sustaine the infirmities one of another. Finallie, you must prouoke and st…re vp o…e another, that your Faith may be strengthened, and your selues comforted against all other gri…fes, by the assurance you shall hauehave wrought in you concerning the forgiuenes of sinnes, wherein your happines doth consist: as also in the hope of the resurrection of your bodies, and the continuall meditation of eternall life.
We will come now to the Commaundements: and first, for the first commandement,The fift commandement. which requireth all spirituall seruice of you that is due vntounto the Lorde, that you stedfastly belie…e in him, louelove him with all your hearts, and with feare and reuerence to call vponupon his Name, in all things giuing thanks, as to him which is the author & giuer of eueryevery good and perfect gift vntounto you. You must make the profite of this commandement, that if you will looke in truth of heart, to be faithfull, louing, and dutifull one to the other, these graces must spring from the other, as being the fountaine and well-spring of all life and truth vntounto them▪ For contrariwise, if you be vnmindfull of God, hee will not suffer you to finde the benefits of thes… ▪ one by the other.
The second Commaundement, which requireth of you to worship God after the trueThe second commandement. That louelove which breeds by gedly meanes, will lōgest endure The third cō mandement manner, that hee appointeth in his word, teacheth you thus much, that you must nourish your l…e in this estate, by the practise of things whereby he is worshipped and honored of vsus▪ n…mely, by hearing, and reading of his holie word, and by the vse of the Sacraments. For that same that is s…irred vp and nourished by this meanes, is most pure and will longest endure, whe… f…thly louelove soone vanisheth and fadeth away.
In the third Commandement, as you are trusted with the glorie of God: so you are charged (b…o…h…r) tha… you abuse not his Name, if you be faithfull vntounto the Lord in seeking his glo…ie, and the aduancement of his truth, and of the kingdome of Iesus Christ, preferring it in all things as is meete; then surely will the Lord blesse you, and prosper your wayes: but if you fall away and slide into any heresie, and so dishonor his Maiestie; then will God certainly plague you in his wrath, and he will make that which you desire to hauehave greatest comfort in, turne into a curse vponupon you. And I would hauehave you remember to this ende, how God the Lord dealt with wicked Amaziah, who for the *Amos. 7. 16. 17.prophaning of Gods glorie and worship, had the hart of his wife drawne from him, and so to his great reproch became a notorious whore. So likewise my sister, that you dishonour not God, as being a meanes of withdrawing your husbands heart from the duties of his calling, but nourishing Faith and a good conscience in all things with him: so will the Lord for his owne Names sake blesse you together. For you shall finde it true which hee hath spoken: Them that honour mee I will honour▪ and them that despise mee shall be despised; But beware (I say) that you giuegive1. Sam. 3. 33. no occasion of falling away, or back sliding vntounto your husband, least God also bring shame vponupon you by him, by giuing him ouer to some sinne. I speake not this, as thogh I doubted these things, in either of you both: for I hope of better things of you: but in speaking to you, I admonish my selfe, wishing that wee all take heede, that wee fall not as the wicked and sinners into the hand of God: for he will not hold him guiltlesse that taketh his name in vaine.
I will spe…ke nothing of the fourth Commaundement, onelyonly referring you to that IThe fourth Commandement. taught publikely this day, concerning the conscience wee ought to hauehave, in the true and spirituall keeping of the same.
The fifth Commandement teacheth you to be obedient, and to relieue and obey yourThe fift commandement. husband. And marke this (Sister) I shall now say vntounto you: if you had neuer so manie gifts, if you had the wisedome of Ab…gael, and all other graces which are in any woman; yet if you wanted obedience to your Husband, I tell you true that you are nothing worth,The obediē …e of the wife to the husband. and you could hauehave no part in Iesus Christ: who denieth himselfe to be the gouernour of anie, that will not acknowledge their Husband to be their head. Therefore (Sister) let others doe as they list, but bee you in the number of those that doe feare GOD, and as the daughter of Sara by doing well, who yeelded reuerence to Abraham, and is commended in the Scripture, for her dutifull speech shee alwayes vsed vntounto him, calling him Lord, or Sir. Now (Brother) remember that you must so gouerne, as you must giuegive account of the manner of your gouernment, euen vntounto GOD himselfe. Besides, where there is greater dignitie, there must you knowe that there are greater graces required: and in rulingHow the husband is to rule his wife. well, there are manie speciall duties to be performed. Therefore you must behaue your selfe wi…ely, least you dishonour your selfe, by abusing your authoritie: for it is a daughter of Israel that is committed vntounto you, and one that is fellow-hei…e of the same grace in IESVS CHRIST with you. Againe, you must consider that a woman is a very fraile creature, and may soone be discouraged; when as there ought to be more constancie, and stayednes on your part.
Therefore in the sixt Commaundement, God forbiddeth all churlish behauiour, allThe sixt commandement. lumpishnes, and all vnkindnesse and discurreous speeches; charging you also to beare with manie weaknesses, to the ende they may bee most quietly reformed. And you (Sister) are forbidden all fullennesse, and that you also for your part take heede of all bitter speeches, and of naughtie names which wee heare throwne out, of some women of vnquietNo bitternes between man and wife. spirits: and if you will hauehave your infirmitie cured by gentlenesse, then deale you in like manner towards your husbands. For it cannot be but occasions of vnquietnes will sometimes be offered on either part: and therefore in many things, you must willinglie beare each others burthen. Besides this (Sister) there is a dutie required in this Commaundement, that you take care of the health of your Husband, in dressing meates wholsome for him. And this shall bee a meanes that his heart shall be more bent in all louing affection towards you.
In the seuenth Commandement there are many things to be noted, but I can but touchThe seuenth commandement. some one or two at this present for want of time: the speciall vse and substance of it is this much: that you liue chastly in this estate, and that you keepe the mariage bed vndefiled; and let me giuegive you both this warning, that you take heede in the beginning, marke what I say, least that which ought to be a meanes to further chastitie, should turne to the hinderance of you. Therefore pray to God to giuegive you grace that you may be soberly affected in all things, and namely, in the vse of mariage: and repent of that which is past, if you hauehave any way offended the Lord in this behalfe. For many failing in repentance for their former sinnes, fall afterward vntounto their vncleannes againe. As for you Brother, true louelove towards your wife, will bee a notable stay from all corruptions: this wee reade of Isaack, Gen: 24. 67. because he loued Rebecca very dearely, he had no more wiues but her; albeit in those dayes (it was a grieuous sinne) euen amongst many of the faithful, they had at once more wiues than one. Therefore when you are from her abroade, make a couenant with your eyes, and let not your heart wander after any other, but thinke vponupon your owne wife, and delight your heart in her continually, and pray earnestly vntounto God for her, and so will the Lord increase your louelove vntounto her, and moue her heart also to delight and long after you. So must you sister, that the same blessings may ouertake you: as surely if you embrace his feare, and walke in his wayes, he will blesse you as well in bearing of children, as in other his manifold graces which he hath in store to bestow vponupon you.
Heere also I must by the way admonish you of one other thing, which I had forgotten before, and that is this; your louelove must spring from that reuerence & feare that you must yeeld vntounto your husband: for true louelove is mixt as it were with these two: and this is a speciallTrue louelove. dutie, & often repeated in the Scripture, that the wife must feare the Husband. So that you see (Sister) that you must not looke to hauehave your Husband at your becke for your louelove: but you must render due beneuolence vntounto each other. For as the bodie of the Husband is not his owne, but his wiues: so is not the womans her owne, but her husbands: for they are both one flesh, as the Scripture doth teach.
Now, if anie doe object, that this is the way to bring women into bondage, and to be as drudges to their Husbands, if they should in this manner be subject vntounto them. No, no, it is not so, but the most readiest way to procure vntounto themselues grace, peace of conscience, and more sweete libertie; whilest they liue in obedience to God, and his holy ordinances. And therefore the spirit of God admonisheth all women, that they be not afraide of any such vaine terror.
Now further my Brother and Sister, that you may keepe your bodies pure and chaste, one for the other, I would counsell you to beware of being alone with anie, when there is feare of temptation vntounto euill: but bee carefull, that you may alwayes hauehave witnesse of your Christian behauiour: and in keeping companie conuenient, chuse vntounto your selfe such as be most sober and faithfull. Well, although there bee manie more duties, yet I will content my selfe to goe one thing further, that is, that as you seeke for continuance and increase of louelove, so you take heede of jealousie: for although that true louelove is veryIealousie. earnest, and mixt with godlie jealousie; yet there is a wicked jealousie, and that causeth causelesse suspicions, which worketh great woe vntounto such as giuegive credit vntounto them. Take heede therefore, my Brother and Sister of this, yea though there should seeme iust cause, yet giuegive not too speedy credit vntounto them. Now, if you desire to know in your heart, which are vngodly suspicions, know them by this token: for they will make you more negligentNote. in praying one for another, and more slacke in performing all other duties of louelove, one to another,
In the eight Commaundement you are charged (Brother) to vse all lawfull means toThe eight cō mandement. prouide for the maintenance of your wife in honest estate: else were you worse then an Infidell. But I charge you to take heede, least through distrust in the prouidence of God, you make shipshracke of a good conscience, vsing any vniust or vnlawfull meanes. And you (Sister) are commaunded to be a good houswife, and to keepe those things together which you hauehave, and so increase them, as you may from time to time be helpfull vntounto others. For if you should consume and waste things vnprofitablie, you should grieue and trouble the minde of your Husband, who ought to be cased of that care by you. And further, if it should please God to call either of you to suffer persecution in time of triall, the weaker must (for the Lords cause) giuegive place to the stronger, and desire the Lorde to giuegive greater strength: for we must labour for grace, that we may be willing for the Gospell, to forsake all things whatsoeuer we hauehave.
Out of the ninth Commaundement I will giuegive you this rule, that neither of you blazeThe ninth cō mandement. Man & wife not to lay opē the infirmities one of another. abroad the infirmities of each other: it is a great enemie to pure louelove. But if there bee neede of counsell and helpe in any matter, then chuse a faithfull friend with consent, that may be an indifferent iudge betwixt you. And againe, in any case tell the truth one to an other: for it is a thing diligently to be regarded in these our dayes, when as men and women are so full of pollicies and subtil fetches, that there is almost no simplicity to be found in anie.
In the last commandement, which concerneth wicked motions and thoughts, although there be no consent giuen vntounto them, you are to consider that your nature will neuer beeThe tenth cō mandement. freed from them in this life: therefore you must prepare to prayer, and other heauenly exercises of Faith, to striue continually against them.
Thus I will end, beseeching God for Christ Iesus sake to giuegive you of his spirit, that may teach you in these things, and enable you to further duties agreeable to his helic w…ll, to the glorie of his name, and your euerlasting comfort.
O Lord God deare Father, for thy welbeloued Sonne our Sauiours s…ke, make vsus thankfullThen hee prayed. for this thy gracious prouidence towards vsus. Oh Lord forgiue all our sins, and keepe vsus pure both in soule & bodie: for thine owne Names sake write these instructions in our hearts, and giuegive vsus grace to make practise of them in the whole course of our liu…s: …uide vsus in all things deare Father, by the grace of thy good spirit, and let the mercifull eye of thy fatherly prouidence watch ouer vsus continuallie, that wee may be comforted in thy wayes, and quickened alwayes to giuegive thee immortall praise, and that through thy deare Sonne Iesus Christ our Lord and onelyonly Sauiour. Amen.
After the exhortation and prayer, hee asked the parties to be contracted, these two questions.
1, Of their consents of parents.
After their answere of their parents consent, to make a faithfull promise of mariage one to another, at such time as their parents could agree vponupon it, they were charged toIudg. 14. 21. 2. Sam. 13. 13. keepe themselues chasle, vntill the mariage bee sanctified by the publike prayers of the Church: for otherwise many mariages hauehave been punished of the Lord, for the vncleannes that hath been committed betwixt the contract and the mariage.
2. Whether they euer were precontracted?
Then hee charged them, saying: I charge you, as by authoritie from Iesus Christ, in whom you looke to be saued, that hauing the consent of your parents, and receiued these precepts, that (I say) yee labour to grow in knowledge, and in the feare of God. And now as in the sig…t of God (with all such le…itie as of others is vsed) you must make before the Lord a contract, which is farre more then a promise: and that on this manner their hands being ioyned. …. R. doe promise to thee F. that I will bee thine husband, which I will confirme by publike mariage, in pledge whereof I giuegive thee mine hand. In like manner doth the woman to the man. Then after the prayer the parties are dismissed.
FINIS.