Two Marriage Sermons — Thomas Gataker

Two Marriage Sermons · Thomas Gataker

A GOOD WIFE GODS GIFT.

PROVERBS 19. 14.

Houses and Riches are the Inheritance of the Fathers: But a prudent Wife is of the Lord.

THERE be two things especially that commend a worke,aAutor opus laudat.-Ovid. de pont. lib. 4. eleg. 9. the Autor, and the Matter. Both of them conspire to commend this Booke, as in the Title of it they are both expressed.

bProv. 1. 1.The Proverbs, or Parables of Salomon, the Sonne of Dauid, King of Israel.

For the Autor, Autor.(to omit the Principall, c2. Pet. 1. 21.Gods Spirit: for,dforeign. 2. Tim. 3. 16. All Scripture is inspired of God:) the Penman of it was Salomon, e2. Chron. 1. 12. 1. King. 3. 12.the wisest meere man that euer was in the world since Adam, by the testimonie euen of wisedome it selfe.

For the Matter; Matter.it is Prouerbs or Parables, (as the word in the Originall signifieth)fforeign à foreign quod foreign & dominari significat. foreign sive dignitates, quae vitae Dominae & moderatrices esse debent. Cartwright in Prov. Master-sentences, such as rule or sway, and are or may be of principall vse in mans Life.

Now consisting for the most part of such Aphorisms and short Sentences, from the beginning especially of the tenth Chapter; it is not necessary, that they should hauehave any coherence one with an other; neither indeed for the most part hauehave they.Coherence.

Yet this and the next before it, hauehave some connexion: gvers. 13.the former being of the inconuenience that commeth by a bad wife;

hvers. 14.This latter of the benefit that a good wife, that a wise and a discreet woman bringeth with her.

There Salomon compared two grand euils togither, and made a bad wife the worse of the twaine:

Here he compareth two great benefits togither, and maketh a good wife the better of the two.

For the former;ivers. 13. A foolish Sonne, saith Salomon, is his Fathers sorrow: and a brawling wife as a continuall dropping.

kforeign. Plut. de tranquill. Dolores eo acerbiores, quo interiores. Aug. in Psal. 45.Mala intestina grauissima. Euils are the more greiuous, the neerer, and the more inward they are; as diseases in the entrailes. AndlMolestissimū malum intestinum & domesticum. Bern. in Cant. serm. 29. mala domestica, domesticall euils, vex a man most, whenmMatth. 10. 36. a mans enemies, as our Sauiour speaketh,Mica. 7. 6. are those of his owne house.

*foreign. Hesiod. oper. Hinc Themistocles foreign. Plut. …. Et v…tus verbum, Aliquid mali esse propter vici…um malum. Plaut. Merc act 4. sc. 4.It is no small inconuenience to dwell neere a bad neigbour; were such a one further of vsus, he would be lesse troublesome to vsus. And surely if to hauehave good neighbours be a matter of no small moment, then somwhat also it must needs be for a man to want such, and much more for a man to hauehave them that dwell neere him euill-affected toward him. An euill at the next dore may be bad enough, and may proue ouer troublesome; an euill within dores, at home, in a mans owne house much more.

But againe within dores there are degrees also: in a mans owne familie there are some neerer then others. A sonne is neerer then a seruant, and a wife then a sonne.nQuot serui, tot hostes. Sen. epist. 47. Macrob. Sat. lib. 1. c. 10. & Fest. lit. Q. Quot. serui, tot fures. Serv. ad Virg. eclog. 3. It is a sore crosse to be troubled, and it be but with bad seruants. It is no small vexation to finde vntoward and vnfaithfull cariage toward himoPsal. 41. 9. Ioh. 13. 18. in those that eat his bread, that feed at his bord; much more to sustaine it at the hands of her, that taketh vp the same bed with him,pMica. 7. 5. that lieth in his bosome. No euill to a bad bed-fellow,qforeign. Aesopꝰ apud Gabriam. Coluber in sinis. to a bosome-euill, to that euill that lieth within or about the breast.

Though true mercy and compassion in some measure extend it self vntounto all those, whose miseries and calamities we are acquainted with: yet the misfortunes of our deere frends affect vsus more then of meere strangers: AndrQui ignotos laedit, latro appellatur; qui amicos, paulò minus quàm pari…ida. Petron. satyr. the wrongs and iniuries offered vsus by professed and pretended frends we are wont to take more to heart.sPsal. 55. 12, 13, 20. It was not mine enemy, saith Dauid, that did me this wrong; for then I could hauehave borne it. But it was thou, ô Man, my companion, my guide, and my familiar frend.

But Brethren are neerer then Frends. And howsoeuer Salomon truly saith, thattProv. 18. 24. foreign. Dion. Chrysost. orat. 3. a Frend sometime sticketh closer to a man then a Brother: yet in nature a uforeign; (Psal. 133. 1.) foreign. Menand. Vide Hieroclē de amore fratern. & Muson. de lib. to l…end. apud. Stob. tom. 2. cap. 82 Hirc vetus verbum, foreign. Plato polit. 2.Brother is neerer then any Frend is or can be. There is a ciuill knot onelyonly betweene Frend and Frend; there is a naturall band betweene Brother and Brother. And therefore,xProv. 18. 19. foreign. Aristot. polit. l. 7. c. 7. A Brother offended is harder to win then a strong Citie; and their contentions are as yVectes arcis: qui ferrei aut anei esse solent. Psal. 107. 16. Esai. 45. 2.barres of brasse. It is easier glewing of bords togither, that hauehave bin vnglewed, againe; then healing vp the flesh that is gashed and diuided: and the reason is, becausezContiguum ibi, istic continuum soluitur. there was but an artificiall connexion before in the one, there was a naturall conjunction in the other.

But Children they are yet neerer then either Frends or Brethren. They areaPars que tui latitat corpore clausa meo. Ovid. epist. 2. partes nostri, viscera nostra; they are asbPignora nostra, Viscera nostra; potius quàm opes, v…i Ovid. ep. 1. 2. Sā. 16. 11. Philem. 12, 20. our very bowels, and part of our selues. And therefore no maruaile if Salomon say, thatcProv 10. 1. A foolish Sonne is a sorrow to his Father, and an heauinesse to his Mother. And,dProv. 17. 21. He that begetteth a Foole, begetteth himselfe sorrow: and the Father of a Foole eNemo quisquam ferè vnquam sic dolet, vt non idē aliquando gaudeat. Sedenim qui omni momento dolet, is verè dicitur non gaudere. Drus. observ. l. 1. c. 22. Vise & Agell. nect. Attic. l. 2. c. 6.shall hauehave no ioy.

But behold here a further euill then any of the former. An euill wife, a contentious woman worse then any of them all. Husband and Wife are neerer then Frends, and Brethren; or then Parents and Children. Children, though they spring from their Parents, yet they abide not alwayes with them. They are asfProv. 5. 16, 17. riuers rising from one head, but taking seuerall wayes, making seuerall streames, and running apart in seuerall Channels. But man and wife must bide by it. They are as two streames, that rising from seuerall heads, fall the one into the other, *Prout Alpheum Arethuse aiunt commisceri.mingle their waters togither, and are not seuered againe till they are swallowed vp in the Sea. Children are asgGenes. 49 22. Psal. 128. 3. branches shooting out of one stemme, diuided and seuered either from other, or as grifts and siences cut of, or boughes and branches clipped of from their natiue stocke, and either planted or engraffed els-where. Man and Wife are as the stock and sience, the onehforeign. Rom 11. 24. ingraffed into the other, and so fastned togither, that they cannot againe be sundred, or asiEzech. 37. 17 Vno Vt siquis geminos cōducat cor…ce ramos, Crescendo iungi, pari…er que adoles…ere cernit. Ovid. metam. l. 4. those two peeces in the Prophets hand inclosed in one barke, and making both but one branch. AndkGenes. 2. 24. Therefore, saith the Holy Ghost, shall a man leaue Father and Mother, and lforeign Christꝰ Mat. 19. 5.be glewed vntounto, orforeign. Moses. cleaue fast to his wife: and They oIta Mosen supplet Christus: quomodo & Math. 4. 10. ex Deut. 6. 13. & 10. 20.two shall be one flesh.

The neerer the bond then, the greater the euill, where it falleth out otherwise then it ought.pProv. 19. 14. A foolish Sonne, saith Salomon, is the calamitie of his Father. And how is he his calamitie? He isqforeign Prov. 10. 5. & 17. 2. & 19. 26. & 29. 15. filius pudefaciens, such an one as shameth his Parents, and maketh them glad to hide their heads in the house. ButrProv. 19. 13. an euill wife is as the raine dropping in through the tiles, that maketh him weary of the house, that vexeth him so that it driueth him out of dores.

YeasProv. 27. 15. as a dropping in a rainy day, when it is foule without and it droppeth within. So that it maketh a man at his wits end, vncertaine whither it be better for him to be abroad in the raine, or to bide within dores in the dropping. And for this cause Augustine compareth an euill Conscience to a badwife, (and it may seeme that he pleased himselfe somewhat in the similitude,tAugust in Psal. 33. & in Psal. 35. & in Psal. 45. & alibi. he maketh vse so oft of it:) which when a man hath many troubles & afflictions from without, and would looke home, hoping for some comfort from within, is much more troublesome to him then any of those outward crosses are; is as a rocke or a shelf to Sea-men in a storme, where they hoped to hauehave found harbor and shelter against it.

Yea further, not as a dropping onelyonly that driueth a man from his house and home, and that when it raineth; butuProv. 19. 13. as a continuall dropping in such a day: So that a bad wife is worse then a quartane ague, wherein a man hath two good dayes for one euill. He that hath an euill wife, is as one that hath an euill soule, a guilty conscience, that euermore sticketh by him, that eueryevery-where accompanieth him, is a continuall euill companion with himxIn cubiculo, in cubili ipso. Aug. in Psal 45. at bed and bord, yQuā nec fugere, nec fugare licet. Lips. in politic. Conscientiā enim à Deo (comitē individ…ā) accepimus, quae diuelli à nobis non potest. Cic. pro Cluent.such as he cannot shift of or shun. And no meruaile therefore if it be deemed the greatest temporall euill, because the most continuall, and the most inward, for a man to be matched with an euill wife, or a woman with an euill husband: For what is said of the one, is as true of the other, the relation betweene them being alike.

To draw all to an head then. An vnkind Neighbour is a crosse: but an vnfaithfull Frend is a great crosse; an vnnaturall Brother a greater: an vngratious Childe yet a greater: but a wicked, vnquiet, or disloyall wife is the2foreign. Menand. Penus malorum est omnili mulier mala. greatest of all, and if we beleeue Salomon, goeth beyond them all. In regard whereof he also els-where pronounceth, thatzProv. 21. 9. & 25. 24. it is better to abide on a corner of the house top without, then to continue with such a one in a wide house: yea that3Prov. 21. 19. Sirac. 25. 18, 22. foreign. Menand. Mala mulier quauis fera truculentior. H. Steph. it is better to liue in the wildernes with the wilde beasts, then with such.

But to leaue this that is without my Text, and yet next dore to it, (so neere her do good and bad neighbour togither,) and to come neerer home: Some it may be hearing Salomon speake on this manner, might say, as our Sauiours Disciples sometime said,aMatth. 19. 10. Summe. If the case so stand betweene man and wife, it is good then not to mary.

Now to such Salomon seemeth to answer in the words of my Text, that It is not euill to mary, but it is good to be wary: that it is not the abuse or badnes of some, that ought to make Gods ordinance the lesse valued, or the lesse esteemed, being in it selfe and of it selfe a matter of great benefit: that as the inconuenience is great and grieuous that a bad wife bringeth with her; so the benefit on the other side is no lesse that commeth by a good wife, by a wise and a discreet woman: who is therfore here commended as a speciall Gift, as a principall Blessing of God, such as goeth beyond any other temporall Blessing whatsoeuer. And surelybforeign. Hesiod. foreign. Simonid. apud Clem. Alex. strom. l. 6. Sors potior maliere proba non …btigit vnquam Vlla viro; contra que mala nil tetrius vsquā est. Erasm. foreign. Menand. Salus & exitium mulier est aedibus. H. Steph. as there is no greater temporall crosse or curse then the one; so is there no greater temporall blessing then the other.cvers. 13.

Now this Salomon to shew, as before he compared two great euils togither, and found a bad wife to be the worse: so here he compareth two great benefits togither, and affirmeth a good wife to be the greater.

House and possessions, wealth and riches, land and liuing isdPsal. 4. 6. foreign. Antiphanes. foreign. Sophocles. foreign. Hesiod. Prima ferè v…ta & cunctis notissima templis, Divitiae vt crescant. -Iuven. sat. 10. Totus populus in alijs discors, in hoc convenit: hoc suspiciunt; hoc sibi, hoc suis optant. Sen. epist. 115. that, that most men regard, and looke after: yea men are wont to seeke wiues for wealth. But saith Salomon, as ePsal. 22. 1. foreign. Menād.a good name, so a good wife, a wise and a discreet woman is better then wealth; her price is far aboue pearles: For House and possessions are the inheritance of the Fathers; but a prudent wife is of the Lord.

Which yet we are not so to vnderstand,Meaning. neither the former part, as if worldly wealth, and riches and possessions were not Gods gifts: forfProv. 10. 22. foreign. Pindar. Pyth. 8. foreign. Aeschyl Theb. It is the blessing of God that maketh a man rich: gPsal. 127. 1, 2.vnles he build the house it will neuer be built: andhDeut. 8. 18. foreign. Pindar. Pyth. 8. it is he that giueth men power to gather wealth togither.

Nor yet againe the latter part; as if Parents had no hand, right or power in disposing of their Children, or in aduising them and prouiding in that kinde for them.iIudg. 14. 2. Sampson requireth his Parents consent. AndkDeut. 7. 3. God chargeth his people not to make matches betweene their Children and the Canaanites, either by giuing their Daughters vntounto the Sonnes of the Canaanites, or by taking the Canaanites Daughters vntounto their Sonnes: which he would not doe, were not they at all to deale in the disposing of them. And many, no doubt, would they take aduice of their Parents, and not follow their owne fancies, and make their wanton eye, or their wandring lust, their chooser and counsailer in such cases, might do much better then for want hereof they doe.

But the meaning of Salomon is this onelyonly, that the one is a more speciall gift of God then the other; that there is a more speciall hand of God in the one then in the other. As that is a lesse benefit then this: so that is in mans power more then this.

So that two points then here in Solomons words offer themselues vntounto vsus:

The former, that A good Wife is Gods gift.

The latter, that Gods prouidence is more speciall in a Wife then in Wealth.

For the former. A good wife is Gods gift. Point 1.For a prudent wife, saith Solomon, is of the Lord. AndlProv. 18. 22. He that findeth a wife, (that is, a good wife, as, a mforeign Eccles. 7. 1. Prov. 22. 1. & Genes. 11. 4. Ellipsi…, qualis est & Esai. 1. 18. & Mal. 1. 14. Vise Camium ibid.name for a good name, nTanquam vxor mala ne vxor quidem sit. Drus.as if an euill wife were no wife, deserued not the name of a wife:) hath found a good thing; and hath obtained a speciall fauour from God.

It was one of the first reall and royall gifts that *Genes. 2. 22.God with his owne hand bestowed vponupon Adam. And it must needs be no small matter that God giueth with his owne hand.Reason. The Kings Almoner may cast small siluer about: but if the King giuegive a man somewhat with his owne hand out of his purse or pocket, it is expected it should be a peece of gold at least. The woman was Gods owne gift to Adam. And shee was Gods gift bestowed on himoGenes. 2. 18. to consummate and make vp his happinesse. Though he were at the first of himselfe happy, yet not so happy as he might be, vntill he had one to partake with him in his happines.

It was God that at first gaue Adam his wife; and it is God that giueth eueryevery man his wife to this day.pGenes. 24. 7, 56. God, saith Abraham to his seruant, will send his Angell along with thee, and will prosper thee in thy iourney; when he sent him about a wife for his Son Isaak. AndqMatth. 19. 6. Those that God hath ioyned togither, saith our Sauiour, let not man seuer. As Augustine saith, thatr… … minem sineh mine, pr…creat hominem ex homine. Aug. de verb. Ap. 11. Ier. 1. 5. He that at the first created man without man, doth now procreate man by man: so he that gaue man a wife at the first immediately, doth still giuegive men wiues by meanes;sProv. 18. 22. good ones in mercy,tEccles. 7. 26. euill ones in wrath; the one for solace and comfort, the other for tryall, cure, correction, or punishment. No mariages are consummate on earth▪ that were not first concluded and made vp in heauen: and none are blest here, that were not in mercy made there.

For the latter;Point 2. There is a more speciall prouidence of God in a Wife then in Wealth. Humane wisedome and fore-cast, endeuour and industry may strike a greater stroke and hauehave a more speciall hand in the one then in the other. Men of wealth may leaue their heires land and liuings but*foreign. Menād Haud facile coniugē nanciscier bonam. H. St…ph. they cannot so easily prouide fit wiues for them.

For first,Reason. they may be deceiued in their choise. Many hauehave good skill in choosing of wares, in valewing of lands, in beating a bargaine, in making a purchase, that are yet but blind buzards in the choise of a wife. Yea the wisest that are may be soone here ouer-reached▪ Since all is not gold as we say, that glistereth. nIerem. 17. 9.The heart of man, saith the Prophet, is deceitfull aboue all things. And,x1. Cor. 2. 11. Corda humana alienis oculis clausa snut. Greg. Rom. mor. lib. 25. cap. 9. Non est hominis scire quid sit in homine, nisi forte quis ad hoc ipsum fuerit vel sti…itu Dei illuminatus, vel angelica informatus industria. Bern. in Cāt. 65. None can tell what is in man or woman▪ but their owne Spirit that is within them.

Secondly, they cannot lincke hearts as they list. A Father may finde out a fit wife, and thinke such a one a meete match for his Sonne▪ and her Parents may be also of the same minde with him, as willing to entertaine the motion as he is to make it; and yet it may be, when they hauehave done all they can, they cannot fasten their affections. AsyFides suadenda nō imperanda Eern. in Cant. 66. Religionem imperare non possumꝰ: quia nemo cogitur vt credat invitus. Theodori…ꝰ apud Cassiod. var. l. 2. ep. 27. Non est religionis cogere religionē, quae sponte suscipi debet. Tertull. ad Scap. Quis enim imponat mihi necessitatem vel colendi quod nolim, vel quod velim non colendi? Lactant. institut. l. 5. cap. 13. credendi. Lipsiu… polit. l. 4. c. 4. Faith, so zNescit amor quo (non) libe… cogi. Tertull de pudic.LoueLove cannot be constrained. aCant. 8. 6, 7. non extorquebis amari. Claud. Honor. Coss. 4.As there is no affection more forcible; so there is none freer from force and compulsion. The very offer of enforcement turneth it oft into hatred. There are secret lincks of affection, that no reason can be rendred of: asbNon amote, Sabidi, nec possum dicere quare: Hoc vnū possum dicere, Non amote. Martial. ep. 33. lib. 1. there are inbred dislikes, that can neither be resolued, nor reconciled. When Parents hauehave a long time beaten the bush, an other oft, as we say, catcheth the bird: affections are set some other way, and cannot be remoued. And things fall out many times so vnexpectedly, such strong liking taken to some sodainly not once thought on before, and such strange alienation of affections, where there hath bin much labouring to linck them, and that where outward inducements of person estate, yeeres &c. hauehave concurred, that euen a naturall mans dimme eye may easily see & discerne a more speciall prouidence of God oft carying things in these cases: And the tongues euen of such are enforced sometime to confesse, as the Aegyptian Magitians of Moses his miracles,cExod. 8. 19. Digitus Dei hic est, There is a finger of God here; so with Rebekkaes prophane frends, in such Mariage matches;dGenes. 24. 50. A Domino factum est istud; This is euen Gods owne doing; and there is no contradicting of it.

To make some Use of these Points.

First,Vse 1. Is a good wife such a speciall gift of God? then is Mariage questionles a Blessing, and no small one, of it self: one of the greatest outward Blessings duplicate page duplicate page that in this world man enioyeth.ePsal. 128. 1, 2, 3, 4. Blessed is eueryevery one, saith the Psalmist, that feareth God, and that walketh in his wayes. For thou shalt eat of the labour of thine hands: happy art thou, and it shall goe well with thee. Thy wife shall be as the fruitfull vine by the sides of thine house: and thy Children like the Olive plants round about thy table. Lo, thus shall the man be blessed that feareth God. In the first place commeth the Wife as the first and principall blessing, and the Children in the next. And surely to reason backward to that the Apostle doth:fRom 11. 16. If the roote, saith he, be holy, the branches also be holy: and, If the branches, say I, be holy then the roote that beareth them much more. So here, If the branches be blessed, the roote that beareth them much more. If Children be a Blessing, thengforeign …rocles de nupt. apud Stob. tō. 2. cap. 65. the roote whence they spring ought much more to be so esteemed.hPsal. 127. 3. Behold, Children and the fruit of the wombe, are the gift of God, saith iIs enim ex titulo Autor videtur.Salomon. Children are the gift of God; but the Wife is a more speciall gift of God: shee commeth in the first place, they in the second: And gifts are vsually answerable to the greatnes of the Giuer. It was a witty answer of a great Prince, when he was disposed to be rid of a bold begging Philosopher: he asked a groat of him, and the King told him,kforeign. Drachmam dare nō est regium. It was too litle for a Prince to giuegive; he requested the King then to giuegive him a Talent, and the King told him,lforeign. Talentum petere non est Cynicum. Antigonus Thrasyllo apud Plut. in apophth. Et Sen. d… benef. l. 2. c. 17. It was too much for a Begger to craue. And surely God indeed in his speciall gifts to vsus, is wont mNon quaero quid te accipere deceat, sed quid me dare. Alexand. apud Sē. de benef. lib 2. c. 16. Idem Perillo amico cū ad filias elocandas talēta quīquaginta assignasset, is autem decem suffi…ere affirmasset, foreign. Plut. in apophth.to regard not so much what is fit for vsus to aske or to expect, as what standeth with his goodnes and greatnes to giuegive.

nGenes. 1. 31.God, saith Moses, looked vponupon all that he had made and behold all was very good. Andoforeign. 1. Tim. 4. 4. EueryEvery creature, or ordinance of God, saith the Apostle, (and he had spoken of Meat and Mariage in the words before-going:) is good. All Gods Creatures and Ordinances are good then;Vse 2. but some are more excellent then others. And Mariage being of this latter sort, it is not holy onelyonly, but euen honorable also. pforeign. Hebr. 13. 4.Mariage, saith the Apostle) is honourable among all men: and no disgrace then to any man. So are we to esteeme of it, and not to contemne what God hath graced, or to dishonor what he hath honoured. We shall but wrong the giuer in debasing his gift.

Againe, is a good Wife such a speciall gift of God? Then if we finde in mariage, inconueniences, hinderances, distractions, disturbances: Let vsus learne what we are to ascribe it vntounto: Not to Gods gift or ordinance, butqSi Dei beneficia vtentium prauitate perpendimus, nihil non nostro malo accepimus. Nihil invenies tam manifestae vtilitatis, quod non in contrarium transferat culpa. Sen. quaest. natur. l. 5. c. 18. to mans corruption abusing Gods gift, peruerting Gods ordinance, and turning that to his owne euill, that God hath giuen him for his good. ForrIam. 1. 17. Si Deus bonus, Diabolus malus, nec à bono quicqnā mali, nec à malo quicquā bon… potest provenire. Aug. there is nothing but is good as it commeth from God. But assforeign. Aristot. de sens. c. 4. Cum aqua ipsa nec saporem nec odorem habeat. pure water may take a taint from the pipe that conveigheth it, andtTinguntur, eorum que trahunt similitudinē, in quorum oram subeundo venere. Plin. hist. nat. l. 2. c. 18. the Sunne beames receiue a tincture from the coloured glasse that they passe through: so our foule hands and filthy fingers oft soile and sully Gods Ordinances, and our filth and corruption doth oft so taint and infect them, that they loose not onelyonly much of their natiue grace, and so strangely transformed, thatuEsai. 58. 5. & 1. 11, 12, 14. Secundum libidinem suam celebrando, sua iam, non Dei fece…ant. Tertull. advers. Marc. lib. 2. God himselfe can scarcely discerne his owne in them, but they misse also of their fruit and efficacie, and3Improb… nihil prodest; quia quicquid ad illum pervenit, prauo vsu corrumpitur. Senec. de benef. lib. 5. c 21. Nihil potest ad malos p…rvenire, quod prosit, imò nihil quod non noceat. Ibid. of good and commodious, through our owne default, become euill and incommodious vntounto us. And as4Potestas à Deo, abusus ab homine. Antō. sum. part. 3. tit. 22. c. 2. Tyrannie in gouernment is not the fault of Gods Ordinance, but of mans corruption abusing it: so in these cases, the euill and inconuenience is not the fruit of Gods Ordinance, but of mans corruption accompanying it.

If we shall finde then in the maried estate troubles and distractions, &c. (asxQui non litigat caeleb… est. Hieron. adv. I…vin. foreign. Menand. Semper habet lites alternaque iurgia lectus, In quo nuptaia…et, minimum dormitur in illo. Iuven. sat. 6. the single life is commonly commended for quietnes;)yNon queramur de autore nostri Deo, si beneficia eius corrumpimus, & vt essent contraria, efficimus. Sen. quaest. nat. l. 5. c. 18. let vsus not accuse God; as Adam sometime closely did;zGen. 3. 12. The woman, saith he, that Thou gauest me; shee gaue me of the tree, and I ate: as if he had said, If thou hadst not giuen me the woman, shee had not giuen me of the fruit; and if shee had not giuen me it. I had not eaten of it. aforeign. Homer. Iliad. foreign.Gods gifts are all good. But let vsus lay the fault where it is; vponupon our selues and our owne corruption, thatbMal… animu… …mnia in … verti… … quae optimi specie venerant. Sen▪ epist▪ 98. turneth honie into gall, and good nutriment,cTit. 1. 15. Vis… Galen. de facult. aliment. lib. 1. Dulcia s…in bilem vertent, stomacho que tumultum Versa ferent. Horat. sat. 2 lib. 2. Quemadm…d…m stomachus morbo vitiatus & colligens bilem, qu…scun que accepit cibos mutat, & …mne … causam doloris trahit: ita animus ca…us, quicquid illi … suum & perniciam, & occasionem miseriae facit. Sen. de benef. l. 5. c. 12. as the foule stomacke into choler, or, dQuaecun que illi… contigerunt, in natura… suam vertunt, & ex se speciosa profutura que si meliori darentur, illis pestifera sunt. Ibid.as the spider and toade, into venime and poyson. Els shall we be like those of whom Solomon saith; eProv. 19. 3.The folly of a man perverteth his way, and his foolish heart fretteth against God.

Secondly, Is a good wife Gods gift? then let those that want them, learne how and where to seeke them. Doest thou want a wife? and wouldest hauehave one, and such a one, as thou maist hauehave comfort in? Seeke her of God, seeke her with God.

Seeke her,Vse 3. I say, first at Gods hands, seek her where shee is to be had. Humble thy selfe in the sight of God, and betake thy selfe by prayer and supplication vntounto God.fIam. 1. 17. EueryEvery good gift, saith Iames, is of God from aboue: and to be sought therefore at his hands: and if eueryevery good gift, this more specially, that is so speciall a gift, and of so principall vse. And,gforeign. 1. Tim. 4 4. EueryEvery Creature or Ordinance, saith Paul, is to be sanctified by prayer. And if eueryevery Ordinance of God should be sanctified by prayer; and it oughthforeign. Marc. regul. spirit. to vshter all our actions, be they ciuill or sacred▪ then this also among others, yea this aboue and before others,*foreign. Menand. as that which (through the blessing of God vponupon it) may proue a matter of the greatest benefit vntounto vsus, and without it a meanes of the greatest euill.

Yea, seeke her as of God, so with God.Vse 4. Aske counsell at the mouth of God, when thou goest about any such businesse.i1 Tim. 4. 4. The Ordinances of God, saith the Apostle, are sanctified vntounto vsus, as well by the word of God, as by prayer. Then are they sanctified vntounto vsus by prayer, when we craue leaue for the vse of them, and a blessing vponupon the vse of them by prayer at Gods hands. Then are they sanctified vntounto vsus by the word of God, when we hauehave warrant, and take direction, for what we do in them, out of Gods word, when we aske counsell at Gods mouth. Then we seeke them with God, when we seeke them by good meanes, when we seeke them in due manner.

For when it is said that a good wife is of God; we are not so to conceiue it, that we are in such cases to vse no meanes at all; but we are to vse none but good and lawfull meanes, such as God hath appointed, either prescribed or permitted.k1. Cor. 7. 39. The wife is bound, saith the Apostle, while her husband liueth: but if her husband be dead, shee is at liberty to marry where she will, but yet, lforeign.in Domino, in the Lord.

Wherein they offend, either that goe too neere, matching within those degrees thatmLevit. 18. God hath inhibited: or that go too far of, matchingnDeut. 7. 3, 4. 1. King. 11. 1, 2. with such as they are by religion prohibited to mary; and so transgressing those rules and directions that the word of God giueth.

As also those that be vnderunder the gouernment of others, or that desire those that be in the power of others to dispose of; they then seeke in the Lord, when they aduise with, and are content to be disposed of by those, whom God hath giuen power ouer them; or when they seeke not to them in the first place, but to those, by whom God will hauehave them to be disposed. That which not Gods people alone, butoGenes. 34. 6, 11. Virginitas non tota tua est: ex parte parentū est; Altera pars patri, data pars est altera matri; Tertia sola tua est▪ Catull. carm. nupt. the Heathen also, by the light of Nature, saw to be equall and right. When they take other courses, they seeke beside God, and cannot hope or expect any blessing from God, whose order and ordinance therein they breake. In a word, wouldst thou be blessed in thy wooing, in thy wiuing? Take God▪ with thee in wooing, invite him to thy wedding. He, if he be pleased, will turne thy water into wine; if he be displeased, he will turne thy wine into vinegar.

Thirdly,Vse 5. learne hence what principally to aime at in the choise of a wife: to wit, at virtue and wisdome, discretion and godlines: for that is indeed true wisedome.

Solomon saith not, a faire wife is the gift of God. And yet ispforeign. Act. 7. 20. de Mose. divinitus venustus. Beza & Pisc. beauty Gods gift; andqforeign. Menand. foreign. Plat. polit. lib. 3. Gratior est pulchro veniens in corpore virtus. Hinc Aristoteles, foreign. Idem que foreign Stob. tom. 2. c. 63. a gift of good regard. Neither saith he, a wealthy wife is the gift of God: And yet isr1. Chron. 29 12, 14. 2. Chron. 1. 12. wealth also Gods blessing, where it is accompanied with well-doing. But, a discreet, or a wise woman is the gift of God.

Many indeed there are, that choose their wife by the eye:sGenes. 6. 3. The Sonnes of God saw the Daughters of Men to be faire: and they tooke them wiues of them where they liked: as if they were to buy a picture or an image to hang vp in the house, or to stand somewhere for a shew. Buttforeign. Nescio quis apud Eustath. Beauty, saith the Heathen man, without virtue, is like a baite floating without an hooke; it hath a baite to entice, but no hooke to hold. And,uProv. 11. 12. foreign. Veteres apud Eustath. Iliad. foreign. Eurip. Chrys. A faire woman, saith Salomon, without discretion is like a gold ring in a swines snout. xProv. 31. 30. Color terrae bonitatis incertus est autor. Pallad. de re rust. lib. 1. cap. 6.Fauour is deceitfull, and beauty is but yforeign. Clem. Alex. paeag. l. 3. c. 1. Resest forma fugax: quis sapiens bono Confidat fragili? Sen. Hippol. Florem decoris singuli carpuntdies. Sen. Octav. Forma bonum fragile est; quantum que accedit ad annos Fit minor, & spatio carpitur ipsa suo. Ovid. art. l. 1. foreign Isocr. ad Demon.vanitie: but a woman that feareth God is praise-worthy indeed.

Others againe regard wealth onelyonly; as if they went about a purchase, as if they were to mary not them but their money, as if they were to wed not the wife, but her wealth. But Solomon, when he saith, Houses and Riches are the inheritance of the Fathers: but a prudent Wife is of the Lord: he implieth that these things may bee seuered, the one may bee without the other. Lands may come by inheritance; whenaVirtus non est haereditaria. Non est res beneficiaria. Sen. epist. 89. virtue may not.bBona, vnde bonū facias, non vnde bonus fias. Aug. de temp. 238. Goods they are wherewith men may do good, but not such as make those good that hauehave them.cforeign. Themistocl. apud Plut. apophth. Malo virū qui pecunia egeat, quam pecuniā quae viro. Cic. offic. l. 2. Better it is, said the Heathen man, to hauehave a man without money, then to hauehave money without a man: so better it is to hauehave a wife without wealth, then to hauehave wealth without a wife. And surely, what comfort can a man hauehave of wealth with such a wife, that shall be as a corrosiue to his heart,dProv. 12. 4. Sicut in ligno vermis, ita perdit virum suum vxor malefica. Hieron. cont. Iovin. l. 1. as corruption and rottennesse in his bones?

Againe, let Parents learne here what to aime at in the education of their Children, whom they desire to dispose of,Vse 6. and to dispose of so as they may be a blessing, not a crosse or a curse to those that shall hauehave them: Not studie onelyonly how to prouide portions for them: though an honest care also is to be had in that kinde.e2. Cor. 12. 12. Parents, saith the Apostle, ought to lay vp for their Children. And,f1. Tim. 5 8. He that prouideth not for his issue, is worse then an Infidell. Nor how to trim them vp, and set them out, in whorish or garish manner, to make them baites to catch fooles with; but labour to traine them vp in true wisedome, and discretion, in the feare of God, and such graces as may make them truly amiable, as g1. Pet. 3. 3. foreign. Clē. Alex. paed. l. 3. c. 1.well in Gods sight as in mans eyes; in houswifry, and industry, and skill to manage houshold affaires: that so they may be helpers to their Husbands, (and not hinderers;) ashGenes. 2. 18. to that end they were made at first.

Yea hence let the wife learne what she is to striue to,Vse 7. and labour for, that she may be indeed a good gift of God:i1. Tim. 2. 9, 10. 1. Pet. 3. 4, 5. Cultus magna cura tibi magna virtutis incuria. Cato Cens. apud Ammiā. hist. l. 16. Cul…us corporum nimius & formae cura prae se ferens animi def…mitatem. Sen. ben. l. 1. c. 10. foreign. Crates. foreign. Sophocl. foreign. Lysander apud Plut. in praecept nupt. foreign. Clem. Alex. paed. l. 2. c. 12. foreign. Ibid. l. 3. c. 2. foreign. Ibid. c. 11. foreign. Ibid. lib 2. cap. 9. Not so much to decke and tricke her selfe vp to the eye, as to hauehave her inner man adorned with holy skill and discretion, whereby to cary her selfe wisely and discreetly in that place and condition that God hath called her vntounto: That she may with the wise woman, kProv. 14. …. foreign. Menand.build vp the house; and belProv. 12. 4. Dignae suo co…iux fida corona viro. a crowne andmProv. 31 2…. a grace to him that hath her. ThatnPro. 31. 28. her Husband and Children may hauehave cause to blesse her, and to blesse God for her; and count it a blessed time when they came first togither.

Let her consider what a fearefull thing it is to be otherwise. For her that wasoforeign. Basil. Sel. made for a helpe, to proue not an helpe but an hurt: for her that was giuen for a blessing, to proue a crosse and a curse. As one saith of Eve, pGen. 2. 18.reaft from Adam as a rib, Vse 8.and shot by Satan at him as a shaft: bestowed on him by God to consummate his felicitie, but made by Satans slight and her owne default, the meanes of his extreame misery.

Fourthly, let men be admonished hence, whom to ascribe it vntounto, if ought hauehave bin done in this kinde for them: euen to God himselfe principally, whose speciall gift a good wife is. Let vsus take heede how in this caseqHabba. 1. 16. we sacrifice to our yearne, or burne incense to our net. Ascribe not what is done for thee, to the mediation of frends, or to thine owne plots and policies, smoothnes of language, fairenes of looke, or the like. No: acknowledge God to hauehave bin the principall agent in the busines: regard man and thine owne meanes, but as his Instruments. Of him shee is, saith Salomon: notrGen. 2. 22. & 1. 27. as a Creature onelyonly made of him, bnt assGen. 2. 22. one matched vntounto thee by him: nor as knit to thee by his ordinance,Vse 9. but astforeign To…us vtvi at que foeminae fatalis est. Aes…hyl. Eumen. Hae… scilicet res vna, si v…a, fato gub…rnatur. Dunaeus ad Lys. assigned thee by his prouidence: For that is it, that Solomon here principally aimeth at.

Yea let them hence learne what they owe vntounto God, whom God hath vouchsafed such a blessing vntounto. Hath God bestowed such a Wife on thee, as Salomon here speaketh of? It is a pretious Iewell; such as thy Father could neuer leaue thee. It is a greater Treasure then the greatest Prince on earth, then the mightiest Monarch in the world is able to bequeath to his Heire. We see how Parents are oft troubled in making search for their Sonnes, and yet when they hauehave done their best endeuour, misse of that they desire. We might here rise by degrees on the better side, as we did before on the worse. As euils, so good things, the more inward the greater. AtProv. 17. 2. & 14. 35 Luk. 12. 42. foreign. Menand. foreign. Eurip. Mel…agr. De beneficijs ac fide servorū in Domin…s, consule sis Senec. de benef. l. 3. c. 18. 27. Et Valer. Max. l 6. c. 8. trusty seruant is no small blessing; auforeign. Hesiod. Hinc de vicinis prospici Cato praecepit, apud Plin. hist. nat. l. 18. c. 6. kinde neighbour is a great one;xProv. 17. 17. & 18. 24. foreign. Amicus alter ipse. Zeno apud Laert l 7. foreign. Anima vna corporum duorum incola. Aristo… ibid l. 5. foreign. Menand. foreign. Pi…d. Nem. 8. a faithfull frend a greater; yProv. 10. 1. & v. 20. & 17 6. & 23. 15. foreign. Menand.a wise sonne yet a greater; and a prudent wife the greatest of all: a greater blessing then any of the former, that yet for temporall blessings may seeme of the greatest. And how do maried persons then stand engaged to God aboue others, whom he hath blessed in their choise? A great measure of thankfulnes owe they vntounto him, proportionable in some sort to the blessing bestowed on them.

Yea as there is a greater measure of thankfulnesse required of them, then of others whom God hath not blessed in that manner: so there is a peculiar kinde of thankfulnes required on their part. All Gods fauours require thankfulnes: and the more fauours the more thankfulnes: but some speciall fauours require some peculiar kinde of acknowledgment, proportioned to the quality of the fauour receiued.aPsal. 127. 3. Genes 33 5. Children are Gods gift: and our thankfulnes to him for them is to be shewed in such duties, as he requireth of vsus in the behalfe of them, bEphes. 6. 4.in the carefull education and training them vp in good courses. In like manner: Thy Wife thou hast of Gods gift: and thy thankfulnes to him for her, must be shewed in the performance of such duties, as he requireth of thee in regard of her,cEphes. 5. 25, 28, 29, 33. Coloss. 3. 19. of louelove, of kindnes, of concord, counsell, contentment &c.

Fiftly,Vse 10. Is the Wife giuen vntounto her Husband by God? then must shee resolue to giuegive her self wholy to him as her Owner, on whom God hath bestowed her, to whom he hath assigned her. When Parents hauehave put out their Children, the Children must be content to be guided by those to whom they commit them: and when God hath giuen a Daughter, she must be content to liue with him, and be guided by him, whom God hath giuen her vntounto. Neither is she to forsake him. FordMatth 19. 5, 6. they are not to be sundred, nor seuered, whom God hath conjoyned and made one. And there is a foule brand therefore vponupon her,eProv. 2. 17. that forsaketh the guide of her youth, and forgetteth the Couenant of her God. Nor to refuse to be ruled by him: butfEphes. 5. 22. 1. Pet. 3. 1. submit and subiect her self vntounto him, vntounto whom God hath giuen her: for gColoss. 3. 18.that is comely, saith the Apostle, in the Lord: and to be imbraced therefore of her, as her Lot by God assigned her.

Yea,Vse 11. is the Wife giuen the Husband by God? then should he esteeme her as a gift of God: and h1. Pet. 3. 7.liue with her, as with one giuen him and bestowed vponupon him by God. We cannot abide to see any thing that we hauehave giuen an other euill-vsed. And it be but a dog, an hound, or a whelp, if we see it neglected, where we bestowed it, we are wont to take it euill. But if we should see a jewell of some value, bestowed by vsus on a frend as a token of our louelove toward him, set light by him, or should finde it cast aside in some corner, would we not much more be grieued at it, and iudge that he set as light by our louelove, as he doth by our louelove-token. And hath not God then iust cause to take it euill at thy hands, when he shall see his gift abused, euill entertained, and worse vsed; when he shall see her misused of thee, whom he hath as a speciall fauour bestowed on thee, and hath therefore giuen theeiEphes. 5. 33. Coloss. 3. 19. a speciall charge well and kindly to vse? How are we wont to be grieued, when we see matters fall our amisse, where we hauehave bin meanes to make the match? If the wife be misused, that we hauehave holpen one to, we are wont to count it a wrong to our selues. And no maruaile then, if God himselfe take to heart the wrongs done by vsus, to those that he hath joyned to vsus, ifkMalach. 2. 13, 14, 15. he hauehave a quarrell against him that shall transgresse against her, whom he hath inseparably joyned to him, to be his Companion and his wife by lPactum salu, pro inviolabili. Num. 18. 19.a Couenant of Salt.

Lastly,Vse 12. if a good Wife be such a speciall gift of God, then a good Husband is no lesse. For the Husband is as needfull for the Wife, as the Wife is for the Husband.mGen. 3. 16. Thy desire, saith God, shall be vntounto him. And if the Husband then be so to esteem of his Wife, and to be thankfull to God for her; then is the Wife no lesse to esteeme so of her Husband, and to be thankfull likewise to God for him.

In a word, let both man and wife so esteeme either of other, as joyned by Gods counsell, as giuen by Gods hand; and so receiue either other as from God, be thankfull either for other vntounto God, seek the good either of other in God; and then will God vndoubtedly with his blessing, accompanie his gift, to his owne glory, and their mutuall good.

FINIS.

A MARIAGE FEAST. A SERMON ON THE FORMER PART OF THE SECOND CHAPTER OF THE EVANGELIST IOHN;

By that learned and judicious Divine Mr WILLIAM BRADSHAW sometime Fellow of SIDNEY COLLEDGE in CAMBRIDGE.

LONDON, Printed by EDWARD GRIFFIN for FVLKE CLIFTON. 1620.

Two Marriage Sermons, Sermon 1 – Title page 2

A GOOD WIFE GODS GIFT.