The History of the Holy War, Book 5 · Chapter 26
Chap. 26. The fictitious voyage of William Landt-grave of Hesse to Palestine confuted.
THese are enough to satisfie; more would cloy. OnelyOnly here I must discover a cheat, and have it pilloried, lest it trouble others as it hath done me: The storie I find in Calvisius, anno 1460: take it in his very words; William the Landt-grave appointed an Holy voyage to Palestine; chose his company out of many Noblemen and Earls, in number ninetie eight: He happily finished his journey; onelyonly one of them died in Cyprus. He brought back with him six and fourtie ensignes of horse. Seven moneths were spent in the voyage, Fab. So farre Calvisius, avouching this Fab. for his authour. Each word a wonder; not to say, an impossibilitie. What? in the yeare 1460, when the deluge of Mahometans had overrun most of Grecia, Asia, and Syria? William, a Landt-grave (of Hesse, no doubt) neither the greatest nor next to the greatest Prince in Germanie, farre from the sea, unfurnished with shipping, not within the suspicion of so great a performance! Six and fourtie horse-ensignes taken! Where? or from whom? Was it in warre, and but one man killed? A battel so bloudlesse seemeth as truthlesse; and the losing but of one man savoureth of never a one. But seven moneths spent! Such atchievements beseem rather an apprentiship of yeares then moneths. Besides, was Fame all the while dead, speechlesse, or asleep, that she trumpeted not this action abroad? Did onelyonly this Fab. take notice of it? be he Faber, Fabius, Fabianus, Fabinianus, or what you please. Why is it not storied in other writers? the Dutch men giving no scant measure in such wares, and their Chronicles being more guiltie of remembring trifles then forgetting matters of moment?
Yet the gravitie of Calvisius recording it, moveth me much on the other side; a Chronologer of such credit, that he may take up more belief on his bare word then some other on their bond. In this perplexitie, I wrote to my oracle in doubts of this nature, Mr Joseph Mead fellow of Christs Colledge in Cambridge, since lately deceased: Heare his answer;
Sir,
I have found your storie in Calvisius his posthume Chronologie, but can heart of it no-where else. I sought Reusners Basilica Genealogica, who is wont with the name of his Princes to note briefly any act or accident of theirs memorable, and sometimes scarce worth it: But no such of this William Landt-grave. So in conclusion, I am resolved it is a fable out of some Romainza; and that your Authour Fab. is nothing but Fabula defectively written. But you will say, Why did he put it into his book? I answer, He himself did not; but had noted it in some paper put into his Chronologie, preparing for a new and fuller Edition: which, himself dying before he had digested his new Edition (as you may see I think somewhere in the Preface) those who were trusted with it after his death to write it out for the presse, foolishly transferred out of such paper, or perhaps out of the margin, into the text; thinking that Fab. had been some Historian, which was nothing but that she-authour Fabula. If this will not satisfie, I know not what to say more unto it. Thus with best affection I rest
Yours, JOSEPH MEAD. Christ. Coll. June 20. 1638.
This I thought fit to recite, not for his honour but to honour my self, as conceiving it my credit to be graced with so learned a mans acquaintance.
Thus much of offertures. I will conclude with that speech of the Lady Margaret, Countesse of Richmond and Derbie, and mother to our King Henry the seventh (a most pious woman, as that age went; though I am not of his faith who beleeved her to be the next woman in goodnesse to the Virgin Mary:) She used to say, that if the Christian Princes would undertake a war against the Turks to recover the Holy land, she would be their *Camdens Remains.laundresse. But I beleeve she performed a work more acceptable in the eyes of God, in founding a Professours place in either Universitie, and in building Christs and S. Johns Colledges in Cambridge (the seminaries of so many great scholars and grave Divines) then if she had visited either Christs sepulchre or S. Johns church in Jerusalem.