Diseases of the Soul, Part 20
Stinking breath and Flattery. Disease 18.
THe Flatterer hath a disease very odious, foetorem or is, a stinking breath. The corporall disease is caused, 1. sometimes through putrefaction of the gummes. Secondly, sometimes through hote distemper of the mouth. Thirdly, sometimes through corrupt and rotten humours in the mouth of the stomach. Fourthly, and not seldome through the exulceration of the lungs. The maine cause of Flattery is a kinde of selfe-louelove; for he onelyonly commends others, to mend himselfe. The communis terminus, where al his frauds, dissimulations, false phrases and praises, his admirations, and superlatiue title meete, is his purse. His tongue serues two Masters his great-ones eare, his owne auarice.
Signes and Symptomes.
IF the cause of this Stench be in the mouth, it is discerned: if in the vicious stomake, or vlcerate lungs, it is allayd by eating; and not so forcible after meates as before. So the Flatterers stomake is well layd after dinner; and til he grow hungry againe, his adulatory pipes goe not so hotely. His meanes come by obseruance, and though hee waite not at table, he serues for a foole. He is after the nature of a Barber; and first trimmes the head of his masters humour, and then sprinkles it with Court-water. He scrapes out his diet in curtsies; and cringeth to his glorious obiect, as a little Curre to a Mastiff: licking his hand, not with a healing, but poysoning tongue. Riches make many friends: truly; they are friends to the riches, not to the rich man. A great proud man, because hee is admired of a number of hang-byes, thinkes he hath many friends. So the Asse, that carryed the goddesse, thought all the knees bowed to her, when they reuerenced her burden. They play like flyes in his beams, whiles his wealth warnes them. Whilst like some great Oke, he stands high and spreads farre in the forrest, innumerable beasts shelter themselues vnderunder him, feeding like hogges on his acornes: but when the axe of distresse begins to fell him, there is not one left to hinder the blowe. Like burres, they sticke no longer on his coate, then there is a nappe on it. These Kites would not flocke to him, but that he is a fat carkase. Seianus, whom the Romans worship in the morning as a Semi-god, before night they teare apieces. Euen now stoopes, and presently strokes. You may be sure, he is but a gally-pot, full of hony, that these wasps houer about; and when they hauehave fed themselues at his cost, they giuegive him a sting for his kindnesse.
The Flatterer is young Gallants Schoole-master, and enters them into booke-learning. Your cheating Tradesman can no more bee without such a Factor, then an Vsurer without a Broker. The Foxe (in the Fable) seeing the Crow highly perch'd, with a good morsell in his mouth, flattered him that he sung well, with no scant cōmendations of his voyce: wherof the Crow proud, began to make a noyse, and let the meat fall: the foolish bird seeing now himselfe deceiued, soone left singing, and the Foxe fell to eating. I need not morall it. The Instrument his tongue is tuned to anothers eare; but like a common fidler, he dares not an honest song. He lifts vp his Patrone at the tongues end, and sets him in a superlatiue height; like a Pharos, or the eye of the Countrey, when he's indeede the eye-sore. Hee sweares to him, that his commending any man is aboue a Iustice of peaces letter; and that the eyes of the Parish waite vponupon him for his grace. Hee insinuates his prayse, most from others report: wherein (very rankely) he wrongs three at once. He belyes the named commender, the person to whom this commendation is sent, and most of all himselfe, the messenger. Whilst he supplies a man with the oyle of flatterie, hee wounds his heart; like thunder, which breakes the bone, without scratching the skinne. Hee seldome speakes so pompously of his friend, except hee be sure of Porters to carry it him. Hee is the proud mans eare-wig, and hauing once gotten in, impostumes his head. A continent man will easily find him; as knowing, that it is as euill, laudari à turpibus, as ob turpia. One being asked, which was the worst of beasts, answered; of wild beasts the Tyrant, of tame beasts the Flatterer. Like an ill Painter, because hee cannot draw a beautifull picture, he is euer limbing deformities and diuels: so the Flatterer, ignorant of goodnesse, layes faire colours vponupon foule iniquities. This cunning wrastler stoopes lowe, to giuegive the greater fall, and wisheth to his obiect, as a whore to her Louer, abundance of all goods, except onelyonly sober wits. Hee studies all the weeke for preuentions, to keepe his Patron on the Sunday from Church: a Sermon and hee are antipodes. Lest his Obserued should take him into the light, and looke on him, he keepes him perpetually hoodwink'd with the opinion of his owne knowledge; admiring his deeds for sanctimonious, and his words for Oracles. Sometimes Conscience is his riuall-aduocate, and pleades against him in his Patrons heart: but because the Iudge is partiall on his side, and his periurous tale runs so smooth with the graine of his affections, hee giues Conscience the check-mate. In short, hee is (at last) one way a Pandar, Cosenages Factor, sinnes Magician, and a pleasing murderer, that with arrident applauses tickles a man to death.
Cure.
TO cure this stinking breath of Adulation, giuegive him a vomit. Pro. 24. 24.He that sayth to the wicked, Thou art righteous, him shall the people curse; nations shall abhorre him. But to them Verse 25.that rebuke him, shall be delight, and a good blessing shall come vponupon them. As (not seruing our Lord Iesus Christ, but his owne Rom. 16, 18.belly) by good words and faire speeches he hath deceiued the harts of the simple; so he hath most deceiued himselfe, and beene no lesse his owne foole, then others knaue. Tell him, that his beginning is hatefull to God, his end to men also. His great friend did no more louelove him in his dreame, then hee will hate him waking: as a sicke man, after the receite of a loathsome potion, hates the very cruze, whereout he dranke it. And lightly, what hee hath got by flattering fooles, he spends vponupon knaues; or worse, and dyes full of nothing but sinnes and diseases. Let him soundly repent, reforme himselfe, informe others, whom hee hath deformed; become a friend to goodnesse, and so to himselfe and others. Repentance and Obedience can only make his breath sweet.